When my in laws visit, I feel like the visitor in my house

[Anonymous]

This is my dad. Same old stories and jokes. Love the guy but it gers exhausting 😅

[Anonymous]

It could be worse. Your ils could include an Uncle Colm.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wm0RbUdXDMM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are DCUM women so mean and nasty about their in laws? It really says a lot about you.

because in-laws suck and live too long

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. We had the in-laws over for dinner yesterday, and MIL talked about Kevin, who was the most handsome boy in her youngest child’s class, for a while, which was OK. But 45 minutes later we were still talking about Kevin, and his life choices, and his siblings’ life choices, and how one of Kevin’s next door neighbors is an investment banker while the other is a drug addict. I have no clue why she finds any of this interesting given that she hasn’t laid eyes on Kevin for 20+ years.

When they came to watch our kid’s game today, I enlisted a couple of other parents to sit on either side of me.

I want to know more about Kevin. I'd love to deep dive into his social media accounts.

omg, you made me literally laugh out loud.

[Anonymous]

Aw man, I was hoping based on the title that this would be a little more similar to what I experience, which is that my MIL tells me where the measuring cups are in my kitchen, buys decorations and places them around my house, and takes over an entire bathroom (getting frustrated if anyone else uses it) during her visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aw man, I was hoping based on the title that this would be a little more similar to what I experience, which is that my MIL tells me where the measuring cups are in my kitchen, buys decorations and places them around my house, and takes over an entire bathroom (getting frustrated if anyone else uses it) during her visits.

Yes, that sort of thing happens too. They will buy gifts and ask where they are the next time they visit (oh, in the basement, we just haven't found a place for it yet). Or put things away in my kitchen (which I appreciate the help cleaning, btw, it's super nice of them) where they think they should go instead of just asking (although at this point, they really should know, we've lived here 10 years and they visit almost every month). They also will tell me their observations about my children like "Wow, he is really an advanced reader for his age." (Yes, thank you, we read with him every day, according to his teacher he's on grade level). Or ask things like "I heard you say he has a doctor's appointment tomorrow, what is wrong?"( OMG, he just turned 10, it is his annual check-up, there's nothing wrong with him.). I have vowed never to be an over-involved grandparent and offer advice only when requested. I hope i stick with that.

[Anonymous]

My MIL tells the same stories but I don't mind listening to them. She is a great cook and I have learned a lot from her. When she comes to visi us, she invariably likes to get some of her own pots and pans so that she can cook for us. We all have to adjust to living with each other because it is like a multi-generational household when they are here. My MIL and FIL come from another country and stay with us for a few months.

I like having a full house. Living with just my nuclear family feels sort of lonely. I love having my parents visit us too. ILs and Parents are elderly. They are with us for only some years before their health prevents them from visiting. So I am very happy when they visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are DCUM women so mean and nasty about their in laws? It really says a lot about you.

because in-laws suck and live too long

Wow... I assume that you'll be ready to give up the ghost when your future DIL/SIL request it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aw man, I was hoping based on the title that this would be a little more similar to what I experience, which is that my MIL tells me where the measuring cups are in my kitchen, buys decorations and places them around my house, and takes over an entire bathroom (getting frustrated if anyone else uses it) during her visits.

Yes, that sort of thing happens too. They will buy gifts and ask where they are the next time they visit (oh, in the basement, we just haven't found a place for it yet). Or put things away in my kitchen (which I appreciate the help cleaning, btw, it's super nice of them) where they think they should go instead of just asking (although at this point, they really should know, we've lived here 10 years and they visit almost every month). They also will tell me their observations about my children like "Wow, he is really an advanced reader for his age." (Yes, thank you, we read with him every day, according to his teacher he's on grade level). Or ask things like "I heard you say he has a doctor's appointment tomorrow, what is wrong?"( OMG, he just turned 10, it is his annual check-up, there's nothing wrong with him.). I have vowed never to be an over-involved grandparent and offer advice only when requested. I hope i stick with that.

You don't think that you are being a bit touchy as they try to love your son? Are you insecure about your parenting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aw man, I was hoping based on the title that this would be a little more similar to what I experience, which is that my MIL tells me where the measuring cups are in my kitchen, buys decorations and places them around my house, and takes over an entire bathroom (getting frustrated if anyone else uses it) during her visits.

Yes, that sort of thing happens too. They will buy gifts and ask where they are the next time they visit (oh, in the basement, we just haven't found a place for it yet). Or put things away in my kitchen (which I appreciate the help cleaning, btw, it's super nice of them) where they think they should go instead of just asking (although at this point, they really should know, we've lived here 10 years and they visit almost every month). They also will tell me their observations about my children like "Wow, he is really an advanced reader for his age." (Yes, thank you, we read with him every day, according to his teacher he's on grade level). Or ask things like "I heard you say he has a doctor's appointment tomorrow, what is wrong?"( OMG, he just turned 10, it is his annual check-up, there's nothing wrong with him.). I have vowed never to be an over-involved grandparent and offer advice only when requested. I hope i stick with that.

OMG! Commenting on reading levels and a doctor’s appointment is too much for you?
I honestly think some of you posters do not want relationships with people.
Yes, I talk to my parents about some school and doc appointments. Get this I even told them when one kid got braces.
Shocking!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aw man, I was hoping based on the title that this would be a little more similar to what I experience, which is that my MIL tells me where the measuring cups are in my kitchen, buys decorations and places them around my house, and takes over an entire bathroom (getting frustrated if anyone else uses it) during her visits.

Yes, that sort of thing happens too. They will buy gifts and ask where they are the next time they visit (oh, in the basement, we just haven't found a place for it yet). Or put things away in my kitchen (which I appreciate the help cleaning, btw, it's super nice of them) where they think they should go instead of just asking (although at this point, they really should know, we've lived here 10 years and they visit almost every month). They also will tell me their observations about my children like "Wow, he is really an advanced reader for his age." (Yes, thank you, we read with him every day, according to his teacher he's on grade level). Or ask things like "I heard you say he has a doctor's appointment tomorrow, what is wrong?"( OMG, he just turned 10, it is his annual check-up, there's nothing wrong with him.). I have vowed never to be an over-involved grandparent and offer advice only when requested. I hope i stick with that.

Sure, stick with that, but if you have a DIL she will be on whatever format hosts DCUM in 20 years complaining that her MIL shows absolutely no interest in her or her life (I’ve seen that complain a million times here).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are DCUM women so mean and nasty about their in laws? It really says a lot about you.

because in-laws suck and live too long

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. We had the in-laws over for dinner yesterday, and MIL talked about Kevin, who was the most handsome boy in her youngest child’s class, for a while, which was OK. But 45 minutes later we were still talking about Kevin, and his life choices, and his siblings’ life choices, and how one of Kevin’s next door neighbors is an investment banker while the other is a drug addict. I have no clue why she finds any of this interesting given that she hasn’t laid eyes on Kevin for 20+ years.

When they came to watch our kid’s game today, I enlisted a couple of other parents to sit on either side of me.

I want to know more about Kevin. I'd love to deep dive into his social media accounts.

Same

[Anonymous]

It’s the same for my ILs, parents, uncles etc. Just show some compassion and be creative so sometimes you listen, other times find some excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aw man, I was hoping based on the title that this would be a little more similar to what I experience, which is that my MIL tells me where the measuring cups are in my kitchen, buys decorations and places them around my house, and takes over an entire bathroom (getting frustrated if anyone else uses it) during her visits.

Yes, that sort of thing happens too. They will buy gifts and ask where they are the next time they visit (oh, in the basement, we just haven't found a place for it yet). Or put things away in my kitchen (which I appreciate the help cleaning, btw, it's super nice of them) where they think they should go instead of just asking (although at this point, they really should know, we've lived here 10 years and they visit almost every month). They also will tell me their observations about my children like "Wow, he is really an advanced reader for his age." (Yes, thank you, we read with him every day, according to his teacher he's on grade level). Or ask things like "I heard you say he has a doctor's appointment tomorrow, what is wrong?"( OMG, he just turned 10, it is his annual check-up, there's nothing wrong with him.). I have vowed never to be an over-involved grandparent and offer advice only when requested. I hope i stick with that.

Yes, it’s really awful that they compliment your child’s reading ability or express concern about his health. Horrifying.

What is wrong with you? How hard is it to say “Yes, he is an excellent reader!” or “No problems — it’s just a checkup!”

You realize that you’re looking for reasons to be offended, right?