For those who have family abroad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I miss my family so so so much too. We video chat everyday, my mom spends chunks of months with us, we go every summer but of course it is not like being there. Over the years, I missed a few big things (my grandpa's death/funeral, my brother's engagement, the birth of a cousin) and tons of the small stuff like large family bbqs, birthday parties, niece's school plays etc. I tear up just thinking about it...All of this to say- I feel your pain OP. Immigration is really tough, and there is a grief process involved in it, which I had never imagined would be there. We grieve for all the things we left behind, the other future we could have had, and of course if you are from a family/guilt heavy region you pile on that a lot of guilt associated with having left your family. Big virtual hugs to you OP, immigration is so so so tough,

Did you come here of your own choice or did someone hold a gun to your head forcing you to leave your home country. It had to be one of those two as the US did not send you an engraved invitation to immigrate. You could leave and that would make room for the millions who risk their life to come here and are turned away. True that the US has many problems but I have lived in Europe and Asia, all first world countries, and in comparison, the US is paradise. My father immigrated to this country and he was so grateful for the opportunities he had here. In fact, prior to becoming a citizen, he joined the US Air Force and served with honor for 35 years. He immigrated from England. I am sick of immigrants who come to this country and take advantage of every opportunity and then talk about their perfect life in their third world country.

The US is paradise compared to a first world country in Europe? How??

It's not that someone held a gun to the head of an immigrant. The PP may have had plans to stay in the US all their life but then got homesick. Same thing happened to me. Nothing is set in stone and you never know what's round the corner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I miss my family so so so much too. We video chat everyday, my mom spends chunks of months with us, we go every summer but of course it is not like being there. Over the years, I missed a few big things (my grandpa's death/funeral, my brother's engagement, the birth of a cousin) and tons of the small stuff like large family bbqs, birthday parties, niece's school plays etc. I tear up just thinking about it...All of this to say- I feel your pain OP. Immigration is really tough, and there is a grief process involved in it, which I had never imagined would be there. We grieve for all the things we left behind, the other future we could have had, and of course if you are from a family/guilt heavy region you pile on that a lot of guilt associated with having left your family. Big virtual hugs to you OP, immigration is so so so tough,

Did you come here of your own choice or did someone hold a gun to your head forcing you to leave your home country. It had to be one of those two as the US did not send you an engraved invitation to immigrate. You could leave and that would make room for the millions who risk their life to come here and are turned away. True that the US has many problems but I have lived in Europe and Asia, all first world countries, and in comparison, the US is paradise. My father immigrated to this country and he was so grateful for the opportunities he had here. In fact, prior to becoming a citizen, he joined the US Air Force and served with honor for 35 years. He immigrated from England. I am sick of immigrants who come to this country and take advantage of every opportunity and then talk about their perfect life in their third world country.

The US is paradise compared to a first world country in Europe? How??

It's not that someone held a gun to the head of an immigrant. The PP may have had plans to stay in the US all their life but then got homesick. Same thing happened to me. Nothing is set in stone and you never know what's round the corner

I'd like to add that homesickness usually happens later in life, especially when parents and other close relatives in the home country become ill or die. In my case I am mourning the time I could have spent with them but wasn't able to. FaceTime didn't exist then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I miss my family so so so much too. We video chat everyday, my mom spends chunks of months with us, we go every summer but of course it is not like being there. Over the years, I missed a few big things (my grandpa's death/funeral, my brother's engagement, the birth of a cousin) and tons of the small stuff like large family bbqs, birthday parties, niece's school plays etc. I tear up just thinking about it...All of this to say- I feel your pain OP. Immigration is really tough, and there is a grief process involved in it, which I had never imagined would be there. We grieve for all the things we left behind, the other future we could have had, and of course if you are from a family/guilt heavy region you pile on that a lot of guilt associated with having left your family. Big virtual hugs to you OP, immigration is so so so tough,

Did you come here of your own choice or did someone hold a gun to your head forcing you to leave your home country. It had to be one of those two as the US did not send you an engraved invitation to immigrate. You could leave and that would make room for the millions who risk their life to come here and are turned away. True that the US has many problems but I have lived in Europe and Asia, all first world countries, and in comparison, the US is paradise. My father immigrated to this country and he was so grateful for the opportunities he had here. In fact, prior to becoming a citizen, he joined the US Air Force and served with honor for 35 years. He immigrated from England. I am sick of immigrants who come to this country and take advantage of every opportunity and then talk about their perfect life in their third world country.

Not PP, but woah.. maybe check your anger at the door. Appreciating life in the US and being homesick don’t have to be mutually exclusive hinge. Having a better life does not mean you do not mourn the loss of community and relationships, do not reminisce about the places and memories that have been your home and are ingrained in you.

It is a difficult choice to know you are going to miss funerals, weddings, children growing up, etc. This has nothing to do with willingness to serve your new country, or pride, or whatever.

Maybe you can reflect on what your dad missed and never said. It doesn’t mean he didn’t feel it, never felt sad or wistful, lonely, afraid, or doubtful. I mean, he was a human, right?