overnight school field trips in a hotel--sharing beds?

[Anonymous]

Girls club sports team. Sometimes three to a bed.

[Anonymous]

Yep, typical. Boys complain a bit but it feels too me more like because they think they should mind more than actually minding.

[Anonymous]

This seems like it might be difficult and really awkward for the gay students. I mean, I know if I were that age and was expected to share a bed with someone I could be sexually attracted to I think I would find that difficult and awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems like it might be difficult and really awkward for the gay students. I mean, I know if I were that age and was expected to share a bed with someone I could be sexually attracted to I think I would find that difficult and awkward.

There are two gay boys who are dating on my son’s high school team. The coach keeps them not in the same room of course.

Frankly the kids are exhausted and really just go to sleep before or after the game. More goofing around stuff happens out of the rooms. (Jumping in the pool, playing tag of hide and seek around the hotel, etc)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not American, and in my European country, a lot of hotels still have twin beds. I was shocked when my middle schooler had to share a bed with a classmate on a school-sponsored trip. No one had told us in advance, because apparently it's the norm here. My middle schooler was not happy either. In his room, no one wanted to share beds, so one slept on the floor, and another in two armchairs. I believe that was the case in a lot of other rooms.

I find it exceedingly strange that Americans, with their loud emphasis on personal space, something other countries don't talk about as much, find it acceptable that students (who usually aren't even that close) to share a bed. This is very different than a sleepover situation, and even during a sleepover, a lot of kids, boys in particular, don't want to share beds.

If the students are the same sex, then what’s the big deal? Would you also object to them sharing a tent at Boy Scout camp?

Your opinion seems surprising for a European; we usually think of you as more open minded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not American, and in my European country, a lot of hotels still have twin beds. I was shocked when my middle schooler had to share a bed with a classmate on a school-sponsored trip. No one had told us in advance, because apparently it's the norm here. My middle schooler was not happy either. In his room, no one wanted to share beds, so one slept on the floor, and another in two armchairs. I believe that was the case in a lot of other rooms.

I find it exceedingly strange that Americans, with their loud emphasis on personal space, something other countries don't talk about as much, find it acceptable that students (who usually aren't even that close) to share a bed. This is very different than a sleepover situation, and even during a sleepover, a lot of kids, boys in particular, don't want to share beds.

If the students are the same sex, then what’s the big deal? Would you also object to them sharing a tent at Boy Scout camp?

Your opinion seems surprising for a European; we usually think of you as more open minded.

Your judgmental opinion sounds typical for an American as well.

I have boys and they don't like to share beds and have never been asked to do so on sports trips. I'm surprised nowadays kids are asked to share beds!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not American, and in my European country, a lot of hotels still have twin beds. I was shocked when my middle schooler had to share a bed with a classmate on a school-sponsored trip. No one had told us in advance, because apparently it's the norm here. My middle schooler was not happy either. In his room, no one wanted to share beds, so one slept on the floor, and another in two armchairs. I believe that was the case in a lot of other rooms.

I find it exceedingly strange that Americans, with their loud emphasis on personal space, something other countries don't talk about as much, find it acceptable that students (who usually aren't even that close) to share a bed. This is very different than a sleepover situation, and even during a sleepover, a lot of kids, boys in particular, don't want to share beds.

If the students are the same sex, then what’s the big deal? Would you also object to them sharing a tent at Boy Scout camp?

Your opinion seems surprising for a European; we usually think of you as more open minded.

OP here (but I'm not the pp you quoted who is European.) A lot of people don't want to share beds with someone that is not a romantic partner. I read on various travel forums and all the time I see parents saying their children refuse to share a bed so they are looking for a hotel room/suite with X number of beds, etc.

Also, as some pps pointed out, some kids are LGBT and so "same sex" isn't necessarily automatically more comfortable or less awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems like it might be difficult and really awkward for the gay students. I mean, I know if I were that age and was expected to share a bed with someone I could be sexually attracted to I think I would find that difficult and awkward.

There are two gay boys who are dating on my son’s high school team. The coach keeps them not in the same room of course.

Frankly the kids are exhausted and really just go to sleep before or after the game. More goofing around stuff happens out of the rooms. (Jumping in the pool, playing tag of hide and seek around the hotel, etc)

So the gay couple breaks apart and sleeps with other boys?

Like if you and your husband go on a trip with another couple and you sleep with the other husband and the other wife sleeps with your husband?

How awkward and weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems like it might be difficult and really awkward for the gay students. I mean, I know if I were that age and was expected to share a bed with someone I could be sexually attracted to I think I would find that difficult and awkward.

There are two gay boys who are dating on my son’s high school team. The coach keeps them not in the same room of course.

Frankly the kids are exhausted and really just go to sleep before or after the game. More goofing around stuff happens out of the rooms. (Jumping in the pool, playing tag of hide and seek around the hotel, etc)

So the gay couple breaks apart and sleeps with other boys?

Like if you and your husband go on a trip with another couple and you sleep with the other husband and the other wife sleeps with your husband?

How awkward and weird.

The pp didn't state that the two gay boys were dating/a couple. So absolutely nothing like splitting up a husband and wife.

But even if they were a couple, is it appropriate for them (minors-depending on the state they are from/in under the age of consent) to share a bed on a school sanctioned event?

[Anonymous]

^sorry, I missed it--pp DID say they were dating.
Still, my other point stands. If this was a coed team/group the school wouldn't allow hetero couples to share beds.

[Anonymous]

The school offered to allow us to pay double and the kid would get their own bed, so they'd be in a room of 3 not 4.

Also, the school did a good job of allowing students to make their own groups of 4 with parent approval to make things more comfortable for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems like it might be difficult and really awkward for the gay students. I mean, I know if I were that age and was expected to share a bed with someone I could be sexually attracted to I think I would find that difficult and awkward.

There are two gay boys who are dating on my son’s high school team. The coach keeps them not in the same room of course.

Frankly the kids are exhausted and really just go to sleep before or after the game. More goofing around stuff happens out of the rooms. (Jumping in the pool, playing tag of hide and seek around the hotel, etc)

So the gay couple breaks apart and sleeps with other boys?

Like if you and your husband go on a trip with another couple and you sleep with the other husband and the other wife sleeps with your husband?

How awkward and weird.

The pp didn't state that the two gay boys were dating/a couple. So absolutely nothing like splitting up a husband and wife.

But even if they were a couple, is it appropriate for them (minors-depending on the state they are from/in under the age of consent) to share a bed on a school sanctioned event?

Maybe no kids should share beds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not American, and in my European country, a lot of hotels still have twin beds. I was shocked when my middle schooler had to share a bed with a classmate on a school-sponsored trip. No one had told us in advance, because apparently it's the norm here. My middle schooler was not happy either. In his room, no one wanted to share beds, so one slept on the floor, and another in two armchairs. I believe that was the case in a lot of other rooms.

I find it exceedingly strange that Americans, with their loud emphasis on personal space, something other countries don't talk about as much, find it acceptable that students (who usually aren't even that close) to share a bed. This is very different than a sleepover situation, and even during a sleepover, a lot of kids, boys in particular, don't want to share beds.

If the students are the same sex, then what’s the big deal? Would you also object to them sharing a tent at Boy Scout camp?

Your opinion seems surprising for a European; we usually think of you as more open minded.

PP you replied to. I’m French. We kiss on the cheek, we go topless at the beach, so you might be pardoned for thinking anything goes in more intimate settings. But no. The bedroom, and the bed, is a very private space! Kids have their own beds at summer camp, their own sleeping bags in scout tents, their own beds during school trips. For us it wouldn’t be appropriate to have kids who are not bosom friends sharing a bed. And I am particularly surprised that otherwise “prude” Americans, who place such importance on personal space, touching, bodies, acceptance of non-heterosexual persons, would casually throw kids in the same bed. It’s not logical. It’s just financially convenient, which is not the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems like it might be difficult and really awkward for the gay students. I mean, I know if I were that age and was expected to share a bed with someone I could be sexually attracted to I think I would find that difficult and awkward.

There are two gay boys who are dating on my son’s high school team. The coach keeps them not in the same room of course.

Frankly the kids are exhausted and really just go to sleep before or after the game. More goofing around stuff happens out of the rooms. (Jumping in the pool, playing tag of hide and seek around the hotel, etc)

So the gay couple breaks apart and sleeps with other boys?

Like if you and your husband go on a trip with another couple and you sleep with the other husband and the other wife sleeps with your husband?

How awkward and weird.

She literally did say they were dating.

I never minded as a kid but it is incredibly heteronormative.
The pp didn't state that the two gay boys were dating/a couple. So absolutely nothing like splitting up a husband and wife.

But even if they were a couple, is it appropriate for them (minors-depending on the state they are from/in under the age of consent) to share a bed on a school sanctioned event?

[Anonymous]

Pp who said there were two gay kids who were dating each other on the team. Our school does it where no students share a bed, they are just two to a room, each with their own bed.