Are you at a $40k+ LS/MS that doesn’t offer much beyond public?

[Anonymous]

Here is an anecdote. I toured Catholic and a few fancy privates. At the Catholic k-8, two eighth graders spoke. The girl was so nervous she literally passed out. The speeches were not great. At the fancy private, an eighth grader spoke and my husband, who frequently is on panels for his area of expertise, turned to me and said “this kid is as good as anyone I’ve seen.” And it was true. Our child is at a fancy private, and they are presenting all the time. They have to perform in front of everyone in music class, there are class plays, and many assignments presenting to the class. They are encouraged to self advocate and all the confidence shows. I’m not saying Catholic schools aren’t good - it’s a different experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As PP said, core instruction isn't necessarily better than in good publics. You are paying for manicured grounds, extensive athletic facilities, plush seating in the library and the connections you might or might not make with influential families.

I don't think that's true. You are also getting:
- much smaller class sizes (10-15 v. 23-26)
- disruptive kids kept out- this is huge in my opinion
- more consistent quality for teachers- many public school teachers are great, but others are not; we have only seen high quality in private
- no/less standardized testing

If you aren't getting these things from your private, then I would question whether the cost is worth it.

None of this is true across the board. Private schools are just as inconsistent as public schools in these areas. And students are 100% subjected to standardized testing in Catholic schools (for people who might be looking at those). That's not in the $40k+ range, but for people who don't know the difference that's an important distinction. How much depends on the diocese (some have their own requirements in addition to what's standard) but it's no different from public in that regard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is an anecdote. I toured Catholic and a few fancy privates. At the Catholic k-8, two eighth graders spoke. The girl was so nervous she literally passed out. The speeches were not great. At the fancy private, an eighth grader spoke and my husband, who frequently is on panels for his area of expertise, turned to me and said “this kid is as good as anyone I’ve seen.” And it was true. Our child is at a fancy private, and they are presenting all the time. They have to perform in front of everyone in music class, there are class plays, and many assignments presenting to the class. They are encouraged to self advocate and all the confidence shows. I’m not saying Catholic schools aren’t good - it’s a different experience.

Rich privileged kids are often confident. There is no way of knowing if the school has anything to do with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is an anecdote. I toured Catholic and a few fancy privates. At the Catholic k-8, two eighth graders spoke. The girl was so nervous she literally passed out. The speeches were not great. At the fancy private, an eighth grader spoke and my husband, who frequently is on panels for his area of expertise, turned to me and said “this kid is as good as anyone I’ve seen.” And it was true. Our child is at a fancy private, and they are presenting all the time. They have to perform in front of everyone in music class, there are class plays, and many assignments presenting to the class. They are encouraged to self advocate and all the confidence shows. I’m not saying Catholic schools aren’t good - it’s a different experience.

We are in DC at the highest ranked Catholic in the DMV area, it is not good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is an anecdote. I toured Catholic and a few fancy privates. At the Catholic k-8, two eighth graders spoke. The girl was so nervous she literally passed out. The speeches were not great. At the fancy private, an eighth grader spoke and my husband, who frequently is on panels for his area of expertise, turned to me and said “this kid is as good as anyone I’ve seen.” And it was true. Our child is at a fancy private, and they are presenting all the time. They have to perform in front of everyone in music class, there are class plays, and many assignments presenting to the class. They are encouraged to self advocate and all the confidence shows. I’m not saying Catholic schools aren’t good - it’s a different experience.

We are in DC at the highest ranked Catholic in the DMV area, it is not good.

[Anonymous]

Nearly $40 grand and no it is not worth it. Won’t make that mistake again next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious about this. I hear people denigrating private all the time on this forum and saying it’s not worth the tuition. Wondering if there’s any difference between that $10-20k range vs. $40k+. Are they all equally a waste of money?

Having worked both, smaller class sizes and less time testing are the only discernible advantages private has. In some cases those are HUGE advantages for your child, in some it’s negligible.

Any blanket statements that private > public though are not correct.

I think this is a solid answer and true for my two who we moved to private school. As a parent, I'm now treated like a customer in some ways - which can have its pros and cons. I think the poster who talked about misbehaving students is off base. If the're applying in with behavior issues from their previous school that's one thing, but for the kids who have come up through the school and start to develop behavior issues in the older grades - it appears those kids are given a lot of runway.

I'd move them back to public and easily give up the parental hand-holding and facilities, but the smaller class sizes have been so beneficial for both my kids.

[Anonymous]

The only advantage that I have seen at my child’s private is smaller class size and in some ways can be a disadvantage. Paying almost 40k should go to more than just that. The academics are not better which is what was touted. Not retuning to Catholic school and now skeptical of other privates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As PP said, core instruction isn't necessarily better than in good publics. You are paying for manicured grounds, extensive athletic facilities, plush seating in the library and the connections you might or might not make with influential families.

ALso paying for more time for extracurriculars, music, art, access to special field trips and experiences. It is very school dependent. I never see the point of these threads that generalize about "all" Private vs "all" public.
In general you have smaller classes and more connections between teacher and student. But again, that depends.

[Anonymous]

All schools have the potential for some degree of behavior problems, but the most extreme problems at public school with be more disruptive than the extreme problems in private schools.

Friends of ours were die-hard public school advocates until one of their elementary school daughters ended up in class with a child who was having violent meltdowns several times a week. The rest of the class was trained in how to safely evacuate the classroom when something set this this child off, and they had to do it at least every other day. The public school was doing their best, but didn't have the resources to safely manage and support the student in the mainstream classroom that the IEP mandated (they couldn't find enough 1:1 aides). Our friends moved their daughter to a small religious private school that had mid-year openings and haven't looked back.

My parents moved my brother to private school when they realized that it was the norm to have students putting other students in headlocks during lunch (and sometimes during unstructured time in class!) in his well-ranked public middle school.

All that said, those are extreme examples. Most people won't encounter situations like this, but it is possible in public school. I can't think of a single mainstream private school that would allow it, let alone make it the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All schools have the potential for some degree of behavior problems, but the most extreme problems at public school with be more disruptive than the extreme problems in private schools.

Friends of ours were die-hard public school advocates until one of their elementary school daughters ended up in class with a child who was having violent meltdowns several times a week. The rest of the class was trained in how to safely evacuate the classroom when something set this this child off, and they had to do it at least every other day. The public school was doing their best, but didn't have the resources to safely manage and support the student in the mainstream classroom that the IEP mandated (they couldn't find enough 1:1 aides). Our friends moved their daughter to a small religious private school that had mid-year openings and haven't looked back.

My parents moved my brother to private school when they realized that it was the norm to have students putting other students in headlocks during lunch (and sometimes during unstructured time in class!) in his well-ranked public middle school.

All that said, those are extreme examples. Most people won't encounter situations like this, but it is possible in public school. I can't think of a single mainstream private school that would allow it, let alone make it the norm.

My child’s private has a teacher who is abusive to the students and acknowledges it but tolerates it. The things he has done would not go far in public school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious about this. I hear people denigrating private all the time on this forum and saying it’s not worth the tuition. Wondering if there’s any difference between that $10-20k range vs. $40k+. Are they all equally a waste of money?

Having worked both, smaller class sizes and less time testing are the only discernible advantages private has. In some cases those are HUGE advantages for your child, in some it’s negligible.

Any blanket statements that private > public though are not correct.

I think this is a solid answer and true for my two who we moved to private school. As a parent, I'm now treated like a customer in some ways - which can have its pros and cons. I think the poster who talked about misbehaving students is off base. If the're applying in with behavior issues from their previous school that's one thing, but for the kids who have come up through the school and start to develop behavior issues in the older grades - it appears those kids are given a lot of runway.

I'd move them back to public and easily give up the parental hand-holding and facilities, but the smaller class sizes have been so beneficial for both my kids.

Yes they are. Rarely, if ever, does a teacher or school kick off the conversation that a lifer could have a better education and fit elsewhere. Even if it’s very true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All schools have the potential for some degree of behavior problems, but the most extreme problems at public school with be more disruptive than the extreme problems in private schools.

Friends of ours were die-hard public school advocates until one of their elementary school daughters ended up in class with a child who was having violent meltdowns several times a week. The rest of the class was trained in how to safely evacuate the classroom when something set this this child off, and they had to do it at least every other day. The public school was doing their best, but didn't have the resources to safely manage and support the student in the mainstream classroom that the IEP mandated (they couldn't find enough 1:1 aides). Our friends moved their daughter to a small religious private school that had mid-year openings and haven't looked back.

My parents moved my brother to private school when they realized that it was the norm to have students putting other students in headlocks during lunch (and sometimes during unstructured time in class!) in his well-ranked public middle school.

All that said, those are extreme examples. Most people won't encounter situations like this, but it is possible in public school. I can't think of a single mainstream private school that would allow it, let alone make it the norm.

Agree. Private schools have to serve the customers, ie the parents. If they don’t they will lose students as well as their reputation through word of mouth. Public schools don’t care

[Anonymous]

You are getting a select group of peers, with any problem children not accepted or kicked out, unless they have a large amount of money. And smaller classes.

[Anonymous]

$40 K gets your kid out of the grind of constant SOL prep and testing. The constant repetition and review seemed unfair to the kids that were ready to move on. I have had zero complaints about being bored in private, DC loves going to school, so to me that is the value.