Heartbroken queer....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Thank you both! I am going to try and distance myself. She wants to remain best friends and have boundaries but this will be a challenge for me. I think I will remove myself for a few months to focus on myself before trying to be friends with her. Keep me in your thoughts as I head back into the single life.

She doesn’t get to have it both ways. You deserve better.

Oh yeah, no to the “best friend” nonsense. No contact. This is a boundary you need to set to take care of yourself.

+1,000,000

She can’t have her cake and eat it too, at your expense. And you will not be able to properly heal and move on with her in your life.

Maybe someday you can be friends, but not until you are really and truly over her (and you will be, I promise).

[Anonymous]

If the dynamic of your relationship was codependency, to th extent that you were socially isolated, it doesn’t sound like it was particularly healthy.

[Anonymous]

OP Here: Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my post and offer their advice. I really appreciated it! To update everyone, I've gone on 2 dates with women I met on HER app and another date planned for this Thursday. I guess I can pull them but I can't seem to keep the good ones. Anyway, you can catch me outside this summer living my best life. As far as my ex, we still struggle with agreeing on how to proceed as friends but I am definitely enjoying my space from her as I navigate being single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: We were really good friends before we started dating. She wants to go back to just being friends and I have no idea how to do that nor do I think I can handle being just her friend. You're right that I need to implement boundaries with her. I will take time for myself but a part of me is also ready to put myself back out there too. I've given up seeing my good friends because we were co-dependent on each other's company.

If you were codependent and ignored your friendships, then you’re not ready to put yourself back out there.
Be single and do some work so you don’t repeat that pattern in your next relationship.

Breakups are painful. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: We were really good friends before we started dating. She wants to go back to just being friends and I have no idea how to do that nor do I think I can handle being just her friend. You're right that I need to implement boundaries with her. I will take time for myself but a part of me is also ready to put myself back out there too. I've given up seeing my good friends because we were co-dependent on each other's company.

If you were codependent and ignored your friendships, then you’re not ready to put yourself back out there.
Be single and do some work so you don’t repeat that pattern in your next relationship.

Breakups are painful. Sorry.

I have BTDT and I agree. Learn to be solidly, happily single and spend some time with it before you put yourself out there again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: We were really good friends before we started dating. She wants to go back to just being friends and I have no idea how to do that nor do I think I can handle being just her friend. You're right that I need to implement boundaries with her. I will take time for myself but a part of me is also ready to put myself back out there too. I've given up seeing my good friends because we were co-dependent on each other's company.

If you were codependent and ignored your friendships, then you’re not ready to put yourself back out there.
Be single and do some work so you don’t repeat that pattern in your next relationship.

Breakups are painful. Sorry.

I have BTDT and I agree. Learn to be solidly, happily single and spend some time with it before you put yourself out there again.

That's literally what my therapist has told me to work on. She's going to help me adjust to the single life while enjoying and learning to love myself. I am currently dating someone new with plans to travel to New Orleans with them next month...is this a terrible idea?? I just want to have fun but I can already see myself falling for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: We were really good friends before we started dating. She wants to go back to just being friends and I have no idea how to do that nor do I think I can handle being just her friend. You're right that I need to implement boundaries with her. I will take time for myself but a part of me is also ready to put myself back out there too. I've given up seeing my good friends because we were co-dependent on each other's company.

If you were codependent and ignored your friendships, then you’re not ready to put yourself back out there.
Be single and do some work so you don’t repeat that pattern in your next relationship.

Breakups are painful. Sorry.

I have BTDT and I agree. Learn to be solidly, happily single and spend some time with it before you put yourself out there again.

That's literally what my therapist has told me to work on. She's going to help me adjust to the single life while enjoying and learning to love myself. I am currently dating someone new with plans to travel to New Orleans with them next month...is this a terrible idea?? I just want to have fun but I can already see myself falling for them.

Is this your date from tonight?
Sheesh…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: We were really good friends before we started dating. She wants to go back to just being friends and I have no idea how to do that nor do I think I can handle being just her friend. You're right that I need to implement boundaries with her. I will take time for myself but a part of me is also ready to put myself back out there too. I've given up seeing my good friends because we were co-dependent on each other's company.

If you were codependent and ignored your friendships, then you’re not ready to put yourself back out there.
Be single and do some work so you don’t repeat that pattern in your next relationship.

Breakups are painful. Sorry.

I have BTDT and I agree. Learn to be solidly, happily single and spend some time with it before you put yourself out there again.

That's literally what my therapist has told me to work on. She's going to help me adjust to the single life while enjoying and learning to love myself. I am currently dating someone new with plans to travel to New Orleans with them next month...is this a terrible idea?? I just want to have fun but I can already see myself falling for them.

Is this your date from tonight?
Sheesh…

NM. Saw it was from a couple of weeks ago. Still…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here: Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my post and offer their advice. I really appreciated it! To update everyone, I've gone on 2 dates with women I met on HER app and another date planned for this Thursday. I guess I can pull them but I can't seem to keep the good ones. Anyway, you can catch me outside this summer living my best life. As far as my ex, we still struggle with agreeing on how to proceed as friends but I am definitely enjoying my space from her as I navigate being single.

Please get over your ex first, & be done, before you drag some innocent woman into your mess! I've dated women all of my life, & the most aggravating thing is trying to get to know someone with a bunch of baggage. I'm from the old school of "CUT HER OFF!!!" You'll probably miss out on something really good, pining after someone that you're dragging along.