Lack of desire to date post divorce

[Anonymous]

Same here! I'm a single mom, 45, and I've been divorced for 3 years now. I still have zero desire to date. My life is full as it is, and I'm busy working on myself and building my best life with my DC, family, and friends. Adding dating or a relationship into the mix is not something I'm interested in at this point.

[Anonymous]

Ditto, I’m a mid 40’s divorced she/her who’d like to have a he/him in my life. For what? I don’t know. I think sex and companionship. I certainly don’t need more kids, mine are in college. I’m good on my own. Having someone would be nice.

Geez, how do you find that? IDK!

[Anonymous]

Same! Divorced for three years. Haven't dated anyone, not interested. I have a teen so definitely not interested in blending anything, living with anyone, blah, blah, blah. To cure my lack of sex blues, I have sex with my ex-h. If nothing else the sex was always good. Still is. No interest in reconciling. Just friends and co-parents. It works, for now.

[Anonymous]

I'm a widow and have met other widows who feel they "need" to start getting on apps, dating, and so forth. It can seem half hearted at best, like some kind of box that needs to be checked like getting new tires for your car or something. It's equally fine to want to date/find partner 2.0, and just as fine to realize life can be full in different ways. You're completely normal and healthy-sounding, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same here. I have not interest in having a relationship. It is just not worth the effort and I do not want to ever cohabitate or remarry. I have kids. I am not doing the blending thing. I do not want to spend precious time on dates. I have someone I can sleep with a couple of times a month. That suits me fine.

I think this is much healthier than people who divorce and want to remarry and have the drama of blending families. I just would not consider it.

I got divorced because I had a bad marriage and did not want to be married to that person anymore. It seems like a lot of women divorce to find another spouse, but that does not make sense to me.

Asking as a guy, how can I set up something similar to the bolded?

[Anonymous]

Same here and have often wondered if it's a bad thing. Glad to hear that I'm not alone, but I still wonder if I'm being a curmudgeon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This cracks me up. I know two women that have each been divorced twice. They are smart, independent, and have active social lives. Both have grown children and grandchildren.

One dated for a while and just had no interest. Hasn’t dated in five years and never looked back. The other never really had interest in dating, but made a promise with her best friend that she would go on at least one date a year, just in case she meant the man of her dreams. Every year she goes on exactly one date. It’s become a joke.

I feel sorry for the chump that is going on the date with her. Clearly a waste of his time

[Anonymous]

Society seems to equate a woman’s true worth on whether or not she is in a romantic relationship or not.

It seems like a crime if a woman is happy/content remaining single.
There just would HAVE to be something wrong w/her if she is not dating nor has any desire to do so.

OP - do not do ANYthing in life that you sincerely do not want to.
I personally could not date online > I just am not the type who can be vulnerable enough to put myself out there.

But I know I am definitely in the minority on this.
Ideally I would like to meet someone the organic way.
However unrealistic this may be.

Plus I have been single awhile + am very set in my ways as a woman of a particular age.
It would be tough to suddenly have to live w/someone else.
I like to just do what I want, whenever I want & w/whoever I want. 😄

[Anonymous]

Op - why do you think you should be dating if you don’t want to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I am trying because of societal pressure/expectations? Am I just super damaged?? What is my deal?

Ignore societal pressure. You aren't damaged. Your deal is perfectly fine.

Society calls teenage pregnancy "bad mother" if she's American and black, "sexiest woman" if she fakes an accent like Sofia Vergara.
Damaged women lie about fat-shaming when everyone treats them like a queen until they observe their awful treatment of others.
Black widows' deals are treating men like a financial transaction and losers treat them well while taking it out on kind women.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU-Enjoy life to the fullest. You are so much less callous than other posters, I have no doubt you'll find someone soon. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same here. I have not interest in having a relationship. It is just not worth the effort and I do not want to ever cohabitate or remarry. I have kids. I am not doing the blending thing. I do not want to spend precious time on dates. I have someone I can sleep with a couple of times a month. That suits me fine.

I think this is much healthier than people who divorce and want to remarry and have the drama of blending families. I just would not consider it.

I got divorced because I had a bad marriage and did not want to be married to that person anymore. It seems like a lot of women divorce to find another spouse, but that does not make sense to me.

Asking as a guy, how can I set up something similar to the bolded?

I do not have an answer for you. We met on bumble. I am busy. He is busy. It just happened naturally.

[Anonymous]

Society seems to equate a woman’s true worth on whether or not she is in a romantic relationship or not.

Women equate a woman’s worth etc. Society doesn’t care.