I don’t blame a woman for marrying a poor man. I congratulate anyone for trying to make a go of it. |
If you review threads on this board where women are struggling financially because of chronic unemployment in their spouse you will find dozens of posts asking why she married him. |
What? No. It has nothing to be with being “lazy.” Women have to work regardless of who they marry or how much they make- one way or the other. The SAHM with a high warning husband still works. Maybe she doesn’t scrub toilets in her house or work in an office cubicle for an income, but there is still a lot of work to be done. As there is for most women with families. Good digger is just a fictional term to denigrate women. |
She better work? Not just scrubbing toilets. The high earners are usually the most likely to cheat midlife and desert the family. Alimony/support isn’t what it was two decades ago. Divorce like that will cripple her and getting a job after being out of the workforce 15-20 years and competing for jobs with 20-30 somethings is not good. She’ll be entry level with no accrued leave. |
Uhhhhh, that's sure not the case on DCUM, where obsessive loathing of men is the norm. |
The most common use of that "fictional term" on DCUM is in reference to younger women with older men, where it is universally assumed that the only thing a younger woman could want from an older man is his money. |
+1 |
But it usually ends in disaster. |
“Usually”? Source, or are you just making up crap? |
I’m a DP but I understand that it’s commonly accepted that marriages break down more frequently in lower socioeconomic stratus: https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-marriage-divide-how-and-why-working-class-families-are-more-fragile-today |
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There are multiple stereotypes here, gold diggers can be of any gender, social class or profession. Sugar daddies and sugar mamas exist.
It’s about a match which isn't based love or compatibility but on finances and where balance of wealth is significantly disproportionate. For example, a young fitness trainer marrying his older client who is an heiress or an unstable celebrity or a receptionist marrying her CEO or dermatologist boss. |
| A hoe. To dig in the ground. |
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I don't believe all marriages need be for love; neither do I think someone is a "gold digger" simply because they have fewer resources than their partner.
In my mind, the central feature of a gold digger is someone who is predatory about seeking out ever wealthier partners. This usually takes the form of chasing after wealthy married people, or if married already, using their current spouse to gain access to social circles where they can meet an even wealthier person. Often these people pretend to be interested in the target's interests, when they really could care less; or in some other way alter themselves (e.g., plastic surgery) specifically to attract whomever is the current mark. |
There is no evidence of this, you just made it up from your feelings. Also, unless the couple is bad with money, a high earner has plenty of assets to divide. I’m only in my 40’s and I could live the rest of my life just on my 1/2 of our current assets. And every year we stay married the number goes up. |
If you don’t have to buy your husband out of the house in order to stay, sure. I know so many that have to sell the family home once they need to split households. They usually allow the wife to stay 2 years in most settlements and then she has to be able to take over the mortgage on her own and buy husband out of the house. |