S/o 5yo parties - what do I do if I am a “big tent” person

[Anonymous]

We did a family party and a friend party. I used the age of the child as a guide. At five, I allowed five guests. At six, six guests. Of course we made occasional exceptions. But we never invited the entire class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had one big blowout with everyone! DS isn’t shy or easily overwhelmed and he just did his thing. We had close to a hundred people!! Everyone was invited and without restrictions on siblings. Grandparents, aunts, cousins, nanny, nanny’s former family, DS’s entire class - everyone. We hired kid band, had good food, and everyone had a good time.

I love this! This is how I grew up. One big party for everyone. It’s how I’m going to handle my baby’s birthdays and it’s how my siblings do their kids birthday parties. I love seeing my grandma get her face painted with six of my nieces friends cheering her on or my nephews baseball team helping serve cake to his little sisters preschool friends.

Separate parties would be like having separate wedding receptions. Not for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am trying to balance between being inclusive vs. not overwhelming my DD. There are so many people to invite - preschool friends, neighborhood friends, cousins, my friends’ kids. I love all of them and don’t want to leave anyone out. All are close enough in age that they can play together. Should I have several small parties, or just one big blowout? Planning to host at home.

One big blowout! Stay true to your big table roots! DC is freaky about segregating people into groups. It’s weird as hell to me.

[Anonymous]

My son DOES NOT LIKE big birthday parties. Every year we pick a special event, like tickets to a Caps game, and he picks two friends to go with him. We call it a birthday present to him, not a party. We have communicated to his friends parents that parties make him uncomfortable and everyone is understanding. We don't treat it as a party at all.

We do cake at home with just our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also keep in mind that even if these people all like you and your DD, not everyone is thrilled to receive an invite for a kid’s birthday party if they don’t know the kid that well. Instead of feeling honored to be included, they may just feel obligated and awkward to attend a kid’s party where they might not know everyone.

Id think critically about whether you need to invite everyone you know with a kid in this age group. What we did for age 5 was invite the kids our DD referred to/thought of as friends. Which included three kids from preschool (class of 20), and about 5 families with close-in-age kids who she sees often enough to feel like they are friends. Some of the families have two kids, so altogether it was 10 kids plus their grownups. Still a “big” party fir a young kid, I feel, but I also feel confident that the families were all excited to come and not doing do out of obligation. I do always stress a bit about excluding a kid from class, but at 5 they are still young enough that this isn’t a huge deal. All the kids in class have buddies who they might to play dates with outside of school.I just don’t think inviting the whole class is necessary or even welcome.

Oh dear heavens, just don't go. Do adults. not know how to turn down an invitation?

[Anonymous]

Smaller parties multiple times is my preference

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had one big blowout with everyone! DS isn’t shy or easily overwhelmed and he just did his thing. We had close to a hundred people!! Everyone was invited and without restrictions on siblings. Grandparents, aunts, cousins, nanny, nanny’s former family, DS’s entire class - everyone. We hired kid band, had good food, and everyone had a good time.

I love this! This is how I grew up. One big party for everyone. It’s how I’m going to handle my baby’s birthdays and it’s how my siblings do their kids birthday parties. I love seeing my grandma get her face painted with six of my nieces friends cheering her on or my nephews baseball team helping serve cake to his little sisters preschool friends.

Separate parties would be like having separate wedding receptions. Not for me.

+1. DC is so fricking weird. I can’t even imagine having separate parties for a little kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son DOES NOT LIKE big birthday parties. Every year we pick a special event, like tickets to a Caps game, and he picks two friends to go with him. We call it a birthday present to him, not a party. We have communicated to his friends parents that parties make him uncomfortable and everyone is understanding. We don't treat it as a party at all.

We do cake at home with just our family.

Why did you think anyone needed to read about your party-hating son?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had one big blowout with everyone! DS isn’t shy or easily overwhelmed and he just did his thing. We had close to a hundred people!! Everyone was invited and without restrictions on siblings. Grandparents, aunts, cousins, nanny, nanny’s former family, DS’s entire class - everyone. We hired kid band, had good food, and everyone had a good time.

I love this! This is how I grew up. One big party for everyone. It’s how I’m going to handle my baby’s birthdays and it’s how my siblings do their kids birthday parties. I love seeing my grandma get her face painted with six of my nieces friends cheering her on or my nephews baseball team helping serve cake to his little sisters preschool friends.

Separate parties would be like having separate wedding receptions. Not for me.

+1. DC is so fricking weird. I can’t even imagine having separate parties for a little kid.

+2. Yes, this area is very weird. Like nothing I have ever seen before. The DC “rules” around parties and social gatherings are bizarre.

[Anonymous]

We’re big tent people too, but also live in a small row house. We have a big party, but the struggle is finding an affordable venue in January since parks aren’t an option. Just FYI for those that seem perplexed.