Do I really hate my house or do I just hate my life right now? SAH right now

[Anonymous]

This is why I always say that walkability is over rated. Yes pre-kids I lived in Arlington right on the metro and we walked to all sorts of things. Now with kids the only places we walk are to school and around the neighborhood to walk the dog.

As for your situation OP, moving our to renovate and then moving back in sucks. I hate moving there is no way I would do it twice in a year.

[Anonymous]

I assume upu quit your job and took on a new "identity " as a SAHm? That in itself is a tough chapter in life. Balancing 2 little ones 24/7 is no cakewalk either.

Outside the house thing, can you get through it? Preschool for your 2 yr old in the Fall, weekly teenage mom's helper for the baby. Playgrounds, playdates, nature ctr, outings, etc to get out of the house daily.

Get a tow for your beloved bike and take the kids with you and bike.

As for the house...what did you love about it that made you buy it years ago? Did it seem fine bc you were without kids at the time? Too much kid stuff in the house so it feels small?

You can do some insulation now w/o major disruption. We got a new roof and they also pumped in attic insulation. A difference already.
Small changes now.

[Anonymous]

The importance of walkability and being able to bike etc seems like you may be similar to me, and I would say in my opinion I don't think it's the house - I think you're just in an incredibly hard stage that with little help from your husband is almost impossible.

We renovated and did a small addition on our small, old house last year and now I feel like I have everything that I want (for me, may not be what others want) - very functional house that isn't too big but has enough space for our growing family with great front porch, walkable to shops, parks, school I'm happy for my kids to go to, next to bike trails. Mine are 1 and 4 and we just got a cargo bike and have been biking all over, it's awesome. We're out of that baby stage and life feels so much better.

The renovation is hard - no way around that, it's stressful and long and woof. But for me it was worth it. But i can COMPLETELY understand that it wouldn't be for others AND I think there are tons of great places to live - places that are less "walkable" to say shops, but still have a great neighborhood feel, walk to parks etc.

Anyway if I was at home balancing naps for a baby and a two year old on my own I would be personally having a VERY hard time no matter what house I was living in so I just wouldn't make any drastic decisions. I think the only thing that would TRULY help is having more help either hiring it or if your husband can lower his hours.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure you want to SAH? It doesn't really sound like it. How long have you been doing it? You need to get out of the house every single day - don't worry about the baby's naps until they are consolidated to one long afternoon nap - then you can worry about being home for it.

[Anonymous]

OP, it might just be life right now. At one point before folks were grown, I kept looking at real estate. At some point I realized I liked looking at other houses because they were probably just cleaner.

Now I love my little house.

[Anonymous]

When we came back to the area 2.5 years ago after being overseas for a bit, I really really wanted to buy as close in as possible, because, like you, I wanted to be able to bike to work and be in close proximity to restaurants, etc. But my husband convinced me to consider Vienna, and I'm so glad this is where we ended up. As a community, we can walk/bike to restaurants, little league games, karate, the pool, etc, and the kids walk to ES and neighborhood playgrounds. We have a great cul de sac with lots of kids and nice families (that alone saved us during the virtual times). I found that I could ride my bike to work (it was about an hour ride, but I still enjoyed it). Of course, during the pandemic, things changed, and as it is now, I'm still only going into the office (in DC) 2x per week, so the commute really isn't that big of a deal. So while I agree that it may well be your stage in life (those ages are so tough), you might consider moving, if it's possible. It is really nice to have a big house and yard (I have three kids, aged 12, 9, and 6).

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm also European and also hate cars. Just a warning that the houses here are NOT build like in Europe. Don't expect all brick, amazing insulation, separate foyer, great windows etc. Here, the houses are basically cardboard with plastic covering outside and crappy plumbing (no pun intended). You can renovate as much as you want, but again, it will be all cosmetic and will not fix foundation or wall quality.

[Anonymous]

Will the future renovations solve all of your house woes? If so, I would stick it out. The location by your work and the good schools are worth another year of poor insulation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it might just be life right now. At one point before folks were grown, I kept looking at real estate. At some point I realized I liked looking at other houses because they were probably just cleaner.

Now I love my little house.

Lol. So true. We are comparing other people's cleanest, most decluttered house ever (for selling) to our everyday look.

[Anonymous]

Does your house have a backyard? I love having a yard with a playset for my young kids. When there is too much noise in the house I send them outside. Obviously you can't do that with a baby, but you're not that far from that future.

If you don't have a backyard for the kids to burn off energy, I'd move. If you were working full time and never home, it wouldn't matter as much. But you're SAH so the kids are home. You need easy outdoor space for the kids to play.