Your opinion: ideal age gap?

[Anonymous]

Mine are 27 months apart, and two years apart in school. They've always been very close (one girl, one boy).

[Anonymous]

3 years.

Oldest is old enough to play alone, "help", feed and dress themselves, be potty trained, etc. when baby comes. But still a close enough gap that they can do things together and you don't feel like you were completely past the baby stage and then had to start all over.

I have noticed that *most* people have a 2-3 year age gap, and it really helps if your kids are similarly spaced when they are in pre-school and elementary school in terms of arranging playdates and activities. My daughters are three years apart and they have several sets of sister friends who are all 2-3 years apart, which is soooooooo nice for me... double playdates constantly!

[Anonymous]

I love everything about exactly two years apart except their birthdays being days apart. I love how well they play together and can be on the same wake/sleep schedule. They’re both in the same school (preschool thru 6th) which is also easy.

[Anonymous]

So far I've loved the 4 year difference, kids are 7 and 3. There is no rivalry and they play together all the time.

[Anonymous]

Most people think that smaller age gap is harder/worse for the first few years and that it’s easier later on when kids play together, go to same school, have same friends/activities/schedules, etc.

I have both a 2-year age gap and a 3.5-year age gap. While the baby years were easier the second time around (even though I already had 2 older kids), now that kids are 8, 6 and 3, it would have been much easier had they been 8, 6 and 4.

[Anonymous]

My first two are 22 months apart and my third is 24 months. I really think spacing around 2 years is best. They spent most of their lives at least semi interested in the same stuff. It's only been when my oldest hit 13 that she's far beyond my 9 year old. I expect they'll have a few years of not having much in common, but when they're all teens they'll be back to sharing experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people think that smaller age gap is harder/worse for the first few years and that it’s easier later on when kids play together, go to same school, have same friends/activities/schedules, etc.

I have both a 2-year age gap and a 3.5-year age gap. While the baby years were easier the second time around (even though I already had 2 older kids), now that kids are 8, 6 and 3, it would have been much easier had they been 8, 6 and 4.

.

Can you say more about how it would be easier if it were all 2 years apart now? I see this said a lot but few people give concrete examples beyond same school, same friends etc.

[Anonymous]

Two years or less, especially if you only have two. My first two are 22 months apart and the third is 3.5 years younger than the second. This spacing was deliberate as we didn't want to jump to three kids immediately, but I am afraid the third will be less close with the other two.

[Anonymous]

Mine are 20 months apart and it’s perfect. They have the same interests, often grouped together for sports/activities and perfect for hand me downs. They are late elementary are have been bffs their whole lives - I fully recognize the tween/teen years May upset that, but we’ve had a great decade.

[Anonymous]

Twins, but it was brutal for the first couple of years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people think that smaller age gap is harder/worse for the first few years and that it’s easier later on when kids play together, go to same school, have same friends/activities/schedules, etc.

I have both a 2-year age gap and a 3.5-year age gap. While the baby years were easier the second time around (even though I already had 2 older kids), now that kids are 8, 6 and 3, it would have been much easier had they been 8, 6 and 4.

.

Can you say more about how it would be easier if it were all 2 years apart now? I see this said a lot but few people give concrete examples beyond same school, same friends etc.

NP but closer the age gap more likely that they’ll have overlap in lots of areas: same school, same friends, same activities, same interests, same sleep schedules. Once your youngest is out of the toddler stage, you can really do a lot more—outings, vacations, everyone watching a movie together or playing a board game together, etc—as a family. The bigger the age gap, the less likely they will be to match up like that. It makes family life a lot easier in my opinion to have kids who can do more together and move through the various stages of childhood more in sync with each other.

Of course it’s also possible to have a larger gap and still have that closeness/overlap and also possible to have a small age gap and NOT have them match up as well as how they interact is largely based on their personalities. But in my experience w my own kids and other families I know, the closer in age kids do typically have more in common and it is easier for the families once kids get older. The younger years are definitely hard w small age gaps between kids, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people think that smaller age gap is harder/worse for the first few years and that it’s easier later on when kids play together, go to same school, have same friends/activities/schedules, etc.

I have both a 2-year age gap and a 3.5-year age gap. While the baby years were easier the second time around (even though I already had 2 older kids), now that kids are 8, 6 and 3, it would have been much easier had they been 8, 6 and 4.

.

Can you say more about how it would be easier if it were all 2 years apart now? I see this said a lot but few people give concrete examples beyond same school, same friends etc.

NP but closer the age gap more likely that they’ll have overlap in lots of areas: same school, same friends, same activities, same interests, same sleep schedules. Once your youngest is out of the toddler stage, you can really do a lot more—outings, vacations, everyone watching a movie together or playing a board game together, etc—as a family. The bigger the age gap, the less likely they will be to match up like that. It makes family life a lot easier in my opinion to have kids who can do more together and move through the various stages of childhood more in sync with each other.

Of course it’s also possible to have a larger gap and still have that closeness/overlap and also possible to have a small age gap and NOT have them match up as well as how they interact is largely based on their personalities. But in my experience w my own kids and other families I know, the closer in age kids do typically have more in common and it is easier for the families once kids get older. The younger years are definitely hard w small age gaps between kids, though.

Another NP and this matches my experience. There is only so much a 2 yo and a 9 yo want to/can do together - they would prefer different museums/parks/outings/shows, etc.

[Anonymous]

3-5 years.
Definitely not <2 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine are 20 months apart and it’s perfect. They have the same interests, often grouped together for sports/activities and perfect for hand me downs. They are late elementary are have been bffs their whole lives - I fully recognize the tween/teen years May upset that, but we’ve had a great decade.

Same. 21 months apart and it’s so great now!

[Anonymous]

This is OP, thanks PPs. This has been really interesting! I'm pregnant and my two DDs will be 28 months apart.