Can your nanny do things that you, the parent, can’t?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is depressing.

Why do you think it’s depressing? Honest question. Do you think you’d be better at teaching your kids in elementary school than a teacher?

It’s not about love - it’s about management.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that's depressing, I think it's honest! What's the saying? There's no way to be a perfect parent, but there's a 1000 ways to be a good parent.

No two parents are going to be the same. Some are going to be better at nurturing, cuddling, putting kids to bed. Some will be better at arts and crafts. Some will be better at teaching/encouraging kids to do sports. Some will be better at their professional jobs, which hopefully translates to setting their kids up well financially, academically, etc.

Yes we should judge truly awful parent, but I think if you are on this message board, you have some level of care and love and concern for your kid. So let's not bash posters.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. The problem is that parents want to believe they will be best at everything with their kids because they are the parent. But childcare is a skill! Would you adopt a dog and assume you know how to train it better than a professional dog trainer? Would you assume that you can fix your car better than a mechanic because you and your car have a special bond? Caring for children, planning activities, scheduling a day, and disciplining as needed is a SKILL! I worked hard to get here and I am better at it with each family and I have been doing this for 15 years. I find it so annoying when parents are shocked that I am better at this than they are!


Some of the skills your nanny has may be things she can teach you. I remember one mom said, “How do you keep the house clean while you are with 3 under 3 all day?” I taught her how I did it and she was able to be more productive.

If there is an area of childcare that your nanny excels in and you struggle with, ask for tips. If your kids tantrum constantly for you but not for her, ask her what her discipline approach is. I can give you a dozen books that explain aspects of my approach to discipline. I can tell you exactly why I offer snacks when I do. I can tell you why and how I handle nap routines in a certain way.

If you hire an expert, treat her like an expert, not a fairy godmother.

[Anonymous]

Chances are she’s consistent and you’re not

[Anonymous]

Our nanny specializes in twin care and has successfully nannied three sets of twins. Damn straight she’s better at it than DH and I together!