Quitting pacifier - need advice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grow a backbone, OP. Not much time before September, so start NOW. Every. Single. Day.

Pacifier is for the bed. Period. Get used the the meltdowns. You ain’t seen nothing yet.

I suspect she’s over-stressed. You need to look at her environment and daily routines to see what’s causing her all this stress. Lack of consistent and secure parenting can be the culprit. Is her father any help?

Your post isn't any help.

Is your child over-stressed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grow a backbone, OP. Not much time before September, so start NOW. Every. Single. Day.

Pacifier is for the bed. Period. Get used the the meltdowns. You ain’t seen nothing yet.

I suspect she’s over-stressed. You need to look at her environment and daily routines to see what’s causing her all this stress. Lack of consistent and secure parenting can be the culprit. Is her father any help?

Your post isn't any help.

Is your child over-stressed?

OP here, is this question for me? I can’t think of why she would be over-stressed. She has a lot of security and consistency.

[Anonymous]

Mine gave it up on their own at 1, almost overnight. Just totally lost interest. We did absolutely nothing to encourage it, it just happened.

I guess my advice is, be prepared for your child to surprise you. And even if giving up the pacifier is hard, there are other things that may come easily for your child that are hard for other kids, like potty training for example, or tying their shoes, or filling out college applications without prompting.

[Anonymous]

My kid still falls asleep with a pacifier at night, but only actually uses it for a half-hour or so at most. He never really uses it through the night, and it typically pops out of his mouth once he's actually fully asleep.

For this reason, we've completely stopped trying to take them away, even though he's way--WAY beyond the age where it would be considered at all 'normal'.

He's not at all reliant on having one, and is fine with just using his thumb to fall asleep, but if we're at home...or staying the night with his grandparents, then yes--my almost 5 year old still falls asleep with a paci. Idk, bite me. It's not been a big deal for us.

[Anonymous]

We cut it at 2. Mostly because it was becoming a crutch for bad behavior/lazy parenting. Crying in public? Paci. Biting at daycare? Paci. etc.

I had a pacifier til age 3.5 and yes, I had to have braces (but probably would have anyway -- genetics).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We cut it at 2. Mostly because it was becoming a crutch for bad behavior/lazy parenting. Crying in public? Paci. Biting at daycare? Paci. etc.

I had a pacifier til age 3.5 and yes, I had to have braces (but probably would have anyway -- genetics).

edit -- we started with limiting it to sleep, then limiting it to nighttime sleep, then taking it away. We gave her a stuffed animal as a comfort item for bed and she loved it. I highly recommend you offer a lovey/stuffed animal if you haven't yet. Or a special blanket.

[Anonymous]

You need to do it cold turkey. Rip that Band-Aid off and don’t look back. It’s impacting her teeth so it needs to be done soon and quick.

[Anonymous]

I'm the OP of this thread, coming back with an update in case anyone else is going through the same thing with pacis.

A couple days after I posted, my DD couldn't find her paci one afternoon and we decided to just go for it cold turkey. She had ONE hard night - only one. The next night was fine, and has been ever since. She always had a lovey bear in addition to the Wubbanub so that remained a constant in terms of having a bedtime soothing object.

The other place she was used to having her paci was the car. The 2 days after we took the pacis, she yelled a bit for the paci here and there in the car. I took her to the store and she picked out a new cat lovey that stays in the car, which has really helped. She gets excited to see her "meow meow" in the car instead of getting mad about the paci being gone.

If anyone else is wondering how to quit, I would say to give your kid a chance to surprise you. My DD was so attached to her Wubbanubs, I assumed this process would be horrible. I was totally wrong and am proud of my tough and adaptable little girl, who turns two in a couple weeks!

Thanks PPs for all the comments and support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, these opinions are all over the place!

Yes! Unfortunately the pacifier is like many hot topic parenting issues, you will find people on all ends and even dentists don’t agree. Our for example said that even if affecting baby teeth it’s not really a big deal til adult teeth start coming in. I know not all dentists agree with this. Our child got so much comfort from it we kept it til 3, then removed it using the paci fairy approach (see big little feelings on Instagram) mostly to what we thought was success til we heard from school he was biting all of the sudden and just really struggling. With a lot of consult with teachers and even a therapist we have the pacifier back. He’s not 4 and still uses it for sleep and comfort times like reading a book in his room. He hasn’t been allowed to have it downstairs since about age 1 so it’s always been more for sleep and calming down.

Anyway some will read this and say we created this issue, that may be it - or my kid may just be different from xyz persons kid. We’ve successfully transitioned our kid from so many things, I know I have a backbone but I also choose to balance letting my kid have something that soothes him and trying not to worry too much about it. He’s not going to go to college with it and almost every kid in the DMV will have braces. Again when we brought this to dentist at almost 4 he shrugged and said “happened with one of my son’s too, he’ll be ok.” I have never in my life heard of someone having braces on baby teeth.. so braces as a 5 year old? That’s certainly not something done now. You can have braces while there are still some baby teeth left, but it wouldn’t be done with just baby teeth (just looked it up). So that’s no different than typical braces.

Anyway it’s hard op! There is no “right” answer as much as we want it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP of this thread, coming back with an update in case anyone else is going through the same thing with pacis.

A couple days after I posted, my DD couldn't find her paci one afternoon and we decided to just go for it cold turkey. She had ONE hard night - only one. The next night was fine, and has been ever since. She always had a lovey bear in addition to the Wubbanub so that remained a constant in terms of having a bedtime soothing object.

The other place she was used to having her paci was the car. The 2 days after we took the pacis, she yelled a bit for the paci here and there in the car. I took her to the store and she picked out a new cat lovey that stays in the car, which has really helped. She gets excited to see her "meow meow" in the car instead of getting mad about the paci being gone.

If anyone else is wondering how to quit, I would say to give your kid a chance to surprise you. My DD was so attached to her Wubbanubs, I assumed this process would be horrible. I was totally wrong and am proud of my tough and adaptable little girl, who turns two in a couple weeks!

Thanks PPs for all the comments and support.

That’s awesome op! You can ignore my long winded post above I hadn’t seen this update! I totally agree that usually our kids surprise us and are farrrr more adaptable than we think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine did wunanub until he was 6. He’s 8.5 now and still no braces. We didn’t take it away until K. Don’t worry about it. They all get braces anyway.

I know you wrote this 6 weeks ago but OMG you are so lazy. You got lucky with the braces. No 6 year old needs a pacifier. That's bad parenting.

[Anonymous]

My DD was very attached to her pacifier. We worked really hard to get her to give it up at age 3. It was a long process, involving lots of talking, bribes, cutting the pacifiers, and eventually planting a "paci" tree (burying them in the yard). So, yay, she quit her paci.

Well, it destroyed her sleep. She was getting a ton of comfort from her paci, and really, really missed it. For the next 2.5 years, she was up almost every night needing comfort. This destroyed my sleep. We actually tried to get her to take the paci back after 6 months, since the sleep was such a mess. She wouldn't do it, since we had been so effective convincing her that "big girls don't use pacis."

In retrospect, DH and I both regret weaning her off the paci so early. We should have taken a more gradual approach. I think she would have given it up naturally by age 5.

The kicker: My DH is an orthodontist, and he specifically regrets pushing so hard for her to drop the paci. He says that while, all else being equal, it's better to get them to drop it early, they are not really doing permanent damage before the adult teeth come it.

My advice: go ahead and start nudging, but don't push it too hard if you really think she needs the comfort.

[Anonymous]

Cold Turkey. There’s no need to drag it out.

Just stop and deal with, know that it will be a rough couple of days. She’s going to cry anyway (dragging it out) so might as well make it a short amount of time.

[Anonymous]

We gave it up cold turkey, at 3 years old, while driving back from out of town. Husband was sick of it and took it away. Needless to say, it was a long ride. When we got home, we "mailed" it to a child in need. DD decorated the box and we wrote a note to the child. That was it. Yes, she had the paci way too long and had to get braces as result. I would try to give it up as soon as you can. When we moved a few years ago, I gave her the box with the paci. She got a good laugh out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine did wunanub until he was 6. He’s 8.5 now and still no braces. We didn’t take it away until K. Don’t worry about it. They all get braces anyway.

I know you wrote this 6 weeks ago but OMG you are so lazy. You got lucky with the braces. No 6 year old needs a pacifier. That's bad parenting.

Not the pp but another pp whose 4 year old still has his pacifier (for sleep and calming only in his room), just a note to say it’s really not kind to go out of your way to call someone out and call them lazy and a bad parent. I can’t imagine you’d do that to someone in person. Okay to say good for you, not for me(in your head!). Always helpful to remember that everyone’s kids, situations, life, needs, etc are very different. And it really makes it harder on us all when judgement like this is happening. I feel like I have to hide that my kid still uses his pacifier at home for bedtime etc because of people like you even though it was highly recommended by his preschool teacher, two therapists, and okayed by the dentist. When we took the pacifier away because of all the pressure we felt with timeframes/judgement and teeth - my kid struggled massively. Totally bizarre I know, (and not the norm for sure! People should definitely go forward in transitioning away from it) we stuck with it a month until his school said something is going on, you have to give it back. And the therapist we connected with since he was clearly struggling emotionally said they same. You don’t know what’s going on for a kid or a parent. Just… be nicer.