Wedding Expenses

[Anonymous]

Upper middle class here with a wedding 10 years ago for 150 people. Cost was easily $30k per family, and both sets of parents split it evenly. That included a large band, lunch that weekend, video as well. Dress was stupidly expensive ($5k) and I’d do the whole thing differently now if I could. Much smaller, save the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much money are you willing to spend on your children’s weddings?

I had a big wedding with all the trimmings and it cost my parents $10,000. So, $10,000 for a dress worn only once, a 5-hour party--mainly friends of parents--what a total waste of money! I have told all three children, two sons and one daughter, that big weddings are ridiculous and to use that money to save to buy a house. I will give each $10,000 and if they are smart they will have a tiny wedding and save for good down payment for a house. We are paying for their bachelor's degree but graduate degrees they are responsible.

You got $10k way back when that paid for a big wedding and you’re giving each kid $10k in today’s dollars? Yikes!

Same thought here. I don't know when or where that pp got married, but in DC or any major city, $10,000 will definitely not get you a "big wedding with all the trimmings." 15 years ago in southern CA my SIL spent $10,000 just on her dress and veil!

[Anonymous]

I’ll give as much as I’m comfortably able to. My parents gave spouse and I $35K so I hope I am able to be at least as generous.

[Anonymous]

Parent of a DS who is getting married this summer. I was willing to contribute as much as the bride’s family.

[Anonymous]

We have four sons that are in college/high school now. We have no plans to pay for a wedding for them, or even give them a significant amount towards a wedding. We are paying for their college (and all associated living expenses) and that's more than our parents did for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent of a DS who is getting married this summer. I was willing to contribute as much as the bride’s family.

So if bride came from a poor family that couldn’t contribute you would have given nothing on principle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of a DS who is getting married this summer. I was willing to contribute as much as the bride’s family.

So if bride came from a poor family that couldn’t contribute you would have given nothing on principle?

No, I didn’t say that. The bride’s family made their decision first and I followed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much money are you willing to spend on your children’s weddings?

I had a big wedding with all the trimmings and it cost my parents $10,000. So, $10,000 for a dress worn only once, a 5-hour party--mainly friends of parents--what a total waste of money! I have told all three children, two sons and one daughter, that big weddings are ridiculous and to use that money to save to buy a house. I will give each $10,000 and if they are smart they will have a tiny wedding and save for good down payment for a house. We are paying for their bachelor's degree but graduate degrees they are responsible.

You got $10k way back when that paid for a big wedding and you’re giving each kid $10k in today’s dollars? Yikes!

Same thought here. I don't know when or where that pp got married, but in DC or any major city, $10,000 will definitely not get you a "big wedding with all the trimmings." 15 years ago in southern CA my SIL spent $10,000 just on her dress and veil!

My parents spent about $17,000 25 some years ago. I’ll probably spend double that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t matter who is paying, expensive weddings are simply stupid. I know because I had one and my parents spent their hard earned and frugally saved money on it.

This^.

[Anonymous]

Some parents spend a lot on children’s private education so they don’t have as much money left as ones whose kids went to cheaper colleges or used aid or scholarship to get free or subsidized education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much money are you willing to spend on your children’s weddings?

I had a big wedding with all the trimmings and it cost my parents $10,000. So, $10,000 for a dress worn only once, a 5-hour party--mainly friends of parents--what a total waste of money! I have told all three children, two sons and one daughter, that big weddings are ridiculous and to use that money to save to buy a house. I will give each $10,000 and if they are smart they will have a tiny wedding and save for good down payment for a house. We are paying for their bachelor's degree but graduate degrees they are responsible.

Hopefully for your kids sake you’re more realistic about today’s college costs than you are about weddings

We paid for their BA/BS degrees and it was a lot more than $10,000. The $10,000 will be their wedding gift and if they are fools then they can spend it on a 5-,hour party. In any case, the bride's parents can pay for weddings to my sons. For my daughter, she gets the same $10,000 to spend as she wishes. On the other hand, I would mortgage the house for a serious medical condiion. Big weddings are riduculous unless you're British royalty.

[Anonymous]

I spent >700k for 6 years of grad, undergrad degrees, cars, rent, travel and other living expenses. My brother spent <100k. We are same financial tier but he is in a position to spend a lot more on weddings then I can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much money are you willing to spend on your children’s weddings?

I had a big wedding with all the trimmings and it cost my parents $10,000. So, $10,000 for a dress worn only once, a 5-hour party--mainly friends of parents--what a total waste of money! I have told all three children, two sons and one daughter, that big weddings are ridiculous and to use that money to save to buy a house. I will give each $10,000 and if they are smart they will have a tiny wedding and save for good down payment for a house. We are paying for their bachelor's degree but graduate degrees they are responsible.

Hopefully for your kids sake you’re more realistic about today’s college costs than you are about weddings

We paid for their BA/BS degrees and it was a lot more than $10,000. The $10,000 will be their wedding gift and if they are fools then they can spend it on a 5-,hour party. In any case, the bride's parents can pay for weddings to my sons. For my daughter, she gets the same $10,000 to spend as she wishes. On the other hand, I would mortgage the house for a serious medical condiion. Big weddings are riduculous unless you're British royalty.

WHAT? WHY WOULD BRIDE’S PRENTS PAY FOR THE WEDDINGS?

[Anonymous]

👀Weddings are waste of money and display of vanity. Everyone with common sense and humility should stand against extravagant weddings, even if someone else wants to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some parents spend a lot on children’s private education so they don’t have as much money left as ones whose kids went to cheaper colleges or used aid or scholarship to get free or subsidized education.

If you qualify for financial aid enough for your child to get a free or heavily subsidized education, You definitely don't have $30,000 sitting around to spend on their wedding. The bar for financial aid is very high--basically families are expected to contribute up to 30% of their income towards college expenses. So even a family earning only 100k a year will not qualify for much in terms of financial aid. Merit scholarships are a different matter, of course.