In-law visits

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Disposable gloves are a great idea. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of that before. They don’t ask me to wash anything else, just their underwear. I’m not sure why they don’t bring more with them. I hate it ugh.

Every time they visit buy some as a gift. May be they are afraid to use your machines, my mom tries to wash hers by hand if she is visiting anyone and runs out because she isn’t comfortable using new gadgets.

[Anonymous]

I think that's weird but it wouldn't really bother me as long as she's not asking me personally to do it. I have three young kids and am in the season of life populated by dirty laundry lol

[Anonymous]

I would use glove, note the size and style.of underwear. And then buy them enough underwear for a week and have it ready in their room the next time they come.

[Anonymous]

I feel there are different reasons for these.

1. Old people are afraid of using or breaking machines they don’t understand.

2. They are used to doing their kids laundry so don’t see how it can be an issue.

3. If it’s just a few pieces, they may not want to waste electricity or water.

Always do a little show and tell of things for them so they feel comfortable using them.

They paid yours or your spouse’s bills for long so don’t be too stingy if they are only visiting. If they are permanently living with you then of course you can show them budget friendly ways.

[Anonymous]

My mom always does this and it does bother me. I think it's more that laundry is MY DOMAIN and I don't like anyone else touching that machine. Kind of like how dh gets pissy when anyone touches his tools. I try to swallow my feelings about that. I just completely don't understand why someone wants to do laundry and then just pack it in a suitcase so that it's all wrinkly when you get home.

I have done laundry at my parents or inlaws house, but only in cases of dire need (like my kid vomited all over her car seat).

[Anonymous]

If the issue is that you don’t want to touch her dirty undies, can’t you just have her throw them into the washing machine?

[Anonymous]

OMG. That's weird. THey can't go a few days without their underwear being washed?? And if they're soiled, they should be taking care of that themselves. Good lord.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god no. I would throw up if they asked that. I have told them they're welcome to use the washer and dryer.

"Debra, would you mind washing my used panties?"
"Barb, let me show you where the laundry is."

OP here and it’s more like I’m standing over the washer putting in my clothes and MIL comes running over next to me with 6 of her and fil’s underwear and asks ‘can just add the little items inside with your load of laundry? This is all I need washed!’

What can I say, no you can’t?! Start a separate load after me to wash you 6 underwear?

Yes, you can say exactly that. I would.

[Anonymous]

Just throw them in. You will get old one day too.

[Anonymous]

How many days are they there for? This is beyond strange. I would never ask anyone to wash my dirty drawers. If I had an accident, I would wash in the sink/air dry.

[Anonymous]

It’s a little weird if they need to do laundry at all during a short visit, but really, why does it matter? I can’t think of anything bad that would happen by mixing laundry in the washing machine. It’s not like you have to sit naked on their laps while you wait for undergarments to be cleaned. That would be weird. If they’re clean enough that you can’t smell their undies while they’re visiting you, they’re clean enough to wash your clothes together without fear of your clothes becoming contaminated in the washer while they’re surrounded by soapy water.

I would wonder (and still wouldn’t have a problem washing them together) if they’re having any issues with incontinence. They might not want to wait until they get home to wash if they’re afraid their clothes may smell like urine (and your clothes wouldn’t smell or have urine on them even if they had a full blown accident and tossed the pee pants in with a regular load of laundry. If that’s the issue, they’re probably embarrassed, probably already using pads or liners to protect their clothing, and they’re probably feeling less clean and more anxious being in a new place and out of their routine and not in control. A lot of older women who’ve had kids don’t realize there are things that can help with incontinence or are embarrassed to ask about it. It’s one of those things they were taught shouldn’t be discussed and are just part of what happens with age and childbearing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god no. I would throw up if they asked that. I have told them they're welcome to use the washer and dryer.

"Debra, would you mind washing my used panties?"
"Barb, let me show you where the laundry is."

OP here and it’s more like I’m standing over the washer putting in my clothes and MIL comes running over next to me with 6 of her and fil’s underwear and asks ‘can just add the little items inside with your load of laundry? This is all I need washed!’

What can I say, no you can’t?! Start a separate load after me to wash you 6 underwear?

I don't understand. It's the washer, It cleans things. The underwear will be clean when it comes out. Who cares? What is it with white people and undergarments?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a little weird if they need to do laundry at all during a short visit, but really, why does it matter? I can’t think of anything bad that would happen by mixing laundry in the washing machine. It’s not like you have to sit naked on their laps while you wait for undergarments to be cleaned. That would be weird. If they’re clean enough that you can’t smell their undies while they’re visiting you, they’re clean enough to wash your clothes together without fear of your clothes becoming contaminated in the washer while they’re surrounded by soapy water.

I would wonder (and still wouldn’t have a problem washing them together) if they’re having any issues with incontinence. They might not want to wait until they get home to wash if they’re afraid their clothes may smell like urine (and your clothes wouldn’t smell or have urine on them even if they had a full blown accident and tossed the pee pants in with a regular load of laundry. If that’s the issue, they’re probably embarrassed, probably already using pads or liners to protect their clothing, and they’re probably feeling less clean and more anxious being in a new place and out of their routine and not in control. A lot of older women who’ve had kids don’t realize there are things that can help with incontinence or are embarrassed to ask about it. It’s one of those things they were taught shouldn’t be discussed and are just part of what happens with age and childbearing.

Thank you for the laugh out loud!

[Anonymous]

It’s a boundary issue.

[Anonymous]

I would politely say no and tell her she can use the washer next. If the concern is she doesn’t know how to use it, offer to teach her.