How to teach children not to feel ashamed due to stigma attached to your religion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t lump Scientology with those other legitimate religions- all have their faults for sure but Scientology blackmails its members into staying in the “church”. It’s not a religion.

Says who? Who gets to decide?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of us follow the religion we are born into and try to pick good teachings which resonate with us. However, following religions with billions of followers, you don’t have any say in other followers doing good or bad things. This makes it quite difficult for children (specially ones living in places where they are minority) to deal with the stigma which comes with it. People hating you for no fault of your own, how do you teach children to do their own thing, not be sensitive of what anyone says and not have to feel the responsibility to defend your religion? I think Jews, Muslims, Mormons, Baptists and Scientologist and many others can relate to it at varying degree so would like to hear their perspectives. A new parent ask me this question and I didn’t have a good answer. It seems most children become atheists because most adults doesn’t have enough knowledge to give satisfactory answers.

There is no good answer; it's impossible. I take it you insist they be identified as members of your religion and not just "pass" as secular Americans like most of us? I've never in my life been required to state my religion to anyone.

Most Americans identify with some religion, even if only for ceremony and culture.

[Anonymous]

My sibling's children in a southern state were made to feel ashamed because they are non-religious. They were frequently told they were going to hell.

No child should be made to feel looked down on because of their family's spiritual beliefs or non-beliefs, whether they are Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Pagan, atheists.

If there is bullying going on, this is a conversation the adults (parents, teachers) should be having, to stop the bullying.

Diversity and inclusion education wards off this sort of nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of us follow the religion we are born into and try to pick good teachings which resonate with us. However, following religions with billions of followers, you don’t have any say in other followers doing good or bad things. This makes it quite difficult for children (specially ones living in places where they are minority) to deal with the stigma which comes with it. People hating you for no fault of your own, how do you teach children to do their own thing, not be sensitive of what anyone says and not have to feel the responsibility to defend your religion? I think Jews, Muslims, Mormons, Baptists and Scientologist and many others can relate to it at varying degree so would like to hear their perspectives. A new parent ask me this question and I didn’t have a good answer. It seems most children become atheists because most adults doesn’t have enough knowledge to give satisfactory answers.

There is no good answer; it's impossible. I take it you insist they be identified as members of your religion and not just "pass" as secular Americans like most of us? I've never in my life been required to state my religion to anyone.

Most Americans identify with some religion, even if only for ceremony and culture.

Mostly it's only to check the box if asked.

[Anonymous]

Our religion here is American secular consumerism. That belief system leaves all the others in the dust. By a longshot.

[Anonymous]

Discrimination due to race, religion, culture, income, lineage, cast, nationality, ethnicity, education, looks,dressing, disability, intelligence, weight, language, athletic abilities etc can be confusing and hard to grapple with. Social indictments of innocent individuals based on things they have no little to no control over is probably worst quality in a human being.

[Anonymous]

If a person of ANY religion is judging other person for their religion, they are highlighting flaws of their own religion for not teaching them to be a better human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Discrimination due to race, religion, culture, income, lineage, cast, nationality, ethnicity, education, looks,dressing, disability, intelligence, weight, language, athletic abilities etc can be confusing and hard to grapple with. Social indictments of innocent individuals based on things they have no little to no control over is probably worst quality in a human being.

? Of course you have control over what religion you belong to. I decided around age 13 that Sunday school was a crock. I think OP is referring to a religion you can't geyt out of even if you wanted to. And that's on them (the family).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t lump Scientology with those other legitimate religions- all have their faults for sure but Scientology blackmails its members into staying in the “church”. It’s not a religion.

I don’t disagree with you but for the sake of argument, its just people manipulating other people, how is it that different than other clergy of other religions guilt trapping their followers?

[Anonymous]

This is United States of America, any adult can get out of any religion but minors doesn’t have such control without alienating their families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, look at the elements about your religion that embarrass your child.

Then, be honest with yourself. Are there justifiable reasons to be ashamed of any of these? Does your religion teach that your god condemns people who are gay, people who don’t practice your religion/practice other religions, people exercising their legal rights regarding family planning and reproductive rights? Does your religion teach that everyone except a chosen few is going to hell?

If the answer to any in the second paragraph is ‘yes’, you seem to have raised an intelligent, ethically minded child who is a better person than you.

Well, you described basically every established religion, some may have evolved more than others on surface but old teachings are pretty much the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s wrong with children becoming atheists?

Nothing but not much right either, specially if looking from the perspective of religious who are conditioned to believe otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sibling's children in a southern state were made to feel ashamed because they are non-religious. They were frequently told they were going to hell.

No child should be made to feel looked down on because of their family's spiritual beliefs or non-beliefs, whether they are Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Pagan, atheists.

If there is bullying going on, this is a conversation the adults (parents, teachers) should be having, to stop the bullying.

Diversity and inclusion education wards off this sort of nonsense.

Did your sibling take the advice you are giving here and stop her kids from being bullied?

Who told her kids they were hell bound? Other adults? Or kids?

[Anonymous]

Question for OP: Are you talking about feeling ashamed because of your religion's theology (or incorrect perceptions of your religion's theology)? Or because of people who happen to share your religion and did something bad?

If it's about a stigma attached to your beliefs themselves, then you'll want to help your child understand your beliefs better. This can be difficult, because religion is often not entirely logical; it requires faith. Reconciling, for example, dinosaurs with the Creation story can be hard to do for the black-and-white thought processes of a child. Sometimes it's easier to redirect attention for now to the parts of your religion that are positive and less messy (holidays, family, community, charity/good deeds) and come back to the more difficult concepts when the child is older. Admitting that the concept is difficult, even for an adult, can also be a good place to start. Something like, "That's a great question, Tommy, and it's something that our best clergy/scholars have grappled with for a long time." And then talk about the value you find in your faith, how sometimes it's easier to think of religious stories as metaphors or allegories, or something like that.

If it's about bad people in your religion who do secularly bad things (like Bernie Madoff), then it's a matter of telling your kids (and anyone who tries to connect you to that person just because you share a religion) that bad people exist everywhere, but your religion doesn't condone their behavior. Prosperity gospel people or conversion therapy people and others who do bad things in the name of religion are a different animal, because then you have to explain how those people twisted your theology and that can be harder to explain, since their behavior is often couched in religious language.

[Anonymous]

I believe in God and the power of prayer but think all organized religion has done far more harm than good.