Dealing with Family

[Anonymous]

My DH went back to work 6 days after delivery, and I didn't get any help until four weeks later when my sister came to visit. That was totally doable.

My MIL came in between those times, but she just added to my work. She would only hold the baby, then give him to me when he cried or needed to be changed. I was running around making her tea and picking up take-out while she held the baby. Luckily her visit was short and she did not stay overnight (stayed with relatives).

[Anonymous]

I am in the group that really liked having the help...and we had all 4 graddparents in from DS birth day through the first week, then my parents stayed for a few days and after they left in-laws came back for a week. We both have close, large, extended families and wanted to all 4 grandparents to feel included. It was trying at times but they all appreciated it very much.

I think it depends upon two things 1) your feelins / wished re time period post delivery and 2) the relationship (including the degree of helpfulness of parents. Of course you can managed by yourself if necessary and would certainly advocate keeping anyone that normally causes you to clench your teeth, bite your tongue or reach for a glass of wine far, far away in the beginning.

Now expecting again and we will do the same...in truth I would love it s both grandmothers came into town and left the grandfathers at home...they cause more work for eveyone..different generation and very used to being taken care of! Luckily we are in a bigger house this time around!

[Anonymous]

I'm excited to have my parents there, I know it'll be great to have the help and have mom cook food I like etc. And of course they are MY parents, so that makes all the difference in the world.

But I am NERVOUS about the in-laws, we get along fine, but they are still the in-laws. And I know they are expecting to be there as well. I don't think that it hwould ever even cross their mind that this might be too much!

Hotels aren't an option typically (that's how our culture is) - but there's no space to have my parents and them here at the same time. I know their feelings will be hurt for sure or they'll say, oh we'll come in in the morning and fly out in the evening, or MIL will come and sleep on the couch,... or something ridiculous that will guilt me into finding a solution or will stress me out... ugh.

My SIL had her first kid 11 years ago and at the time my MIL was there (of course) and hearing stories from her, def freaks me out... MIL actually told her she better not have an epidural that would kill the baby and at some point during labor just came into the room although they had asked her not to!!!! Of course they have changed over the past ten years, but it makes me really nervous. Of course I haven't shared any of this with DH yet (baby is coming in the fall so I have time...).