How soon is too soon

Anonymous
Texting innuendos after one date? He may just be into sex. That’s fine, have fun! But I’m not thinking he sounds LTR.
Anonymous
If it were me under these facts, I would hold out at least another month longer if I was hoping for a ltr. Talk (texting) is cheap; when it comes to a ltr, the proof is in actions. What actions has he shown that indicate he is ltr material? Is he considerate, does he respect your boundaries, has he met any of your friends, does he handle frustration and disappointment in a mature way, are his finances stable, does he seem fair and reasonable? I’d want to pace the relationship and see some of those things before going buck wild lol.
Anonymous
If it’s gonna work out, it will regardless of when you have sex.
Anonymous
My thoughts (Female here):

Texting innuendos, assuming sexual, this early, is a red flag for me esp in terms of LTR and only been on one date. I would not be into this at all.

I'm a strong believer that if a guy wants to be with you, he will stay with you REGARDLESS of what number date you sleep with him. Even for me, I had fantastic sex with someone on date 7, and for some reason, and again, the sex was great, I just was not into him anymore and told him I didn't see anything happening long-term. It's like just some missing pieces fell into play after sex, I can't really describe it. It could be the same for you.

As long as you feel comfortable and it feels right, it's ok. If a man loses respect for you because you sleep with him "too early," he needs to re-evluate his views of women, and I would never want to be with a man that is that close-minded.
Anonymous
PP here, I'll add that if you do have sex and that's all you're doing- re-evaluate. You can have lots of sex with him but just make sure that's not all you're doing.
Anonymous
Most of my LTRs have started out with great sex early.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Most of my LTRs have started out with great sex early.


Same. Had good relationships with people I banged on date 1. Waiting until date 2 never went anywhere though. Three or more also can work. Just not second. Lol
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If it’s gonna work out, it will regardless of when you have sex.


+1

I had sex with my DH before our first date. We are still together 22 years and 2 kids later.
Anonymous
After just one date w/you - if this guy is already hinting that he wants to sleep w/you already then it is crystal clear he is looking for a booty call vs. something long-term + exclusive.

If that is what you want as well > then you two have fun.

However if you are looking for something more permanent & exclusive, then you should keep looking.

Good luck. 👍🏽
Anonymous
Normally I will have sex on 3rd date with someone I really click with (rare) and it’s always turned into a LTR. But in this situation, I might wait until 5th date and get to know him. Im only saying this because he comes on strong sexually which is a little concerning but not a red flag and because you are afraid it would turn into a sex fest.
Anonymous
OP: we talked about it last night. He brought it up first, by noting the strength of the attraction and saying he wants to do something he has never done before, and take it slow; bc he wants depth and longevity and ultimately love.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:After just one date w/you - if this guy is already hinting that he wants to sleep w/you already then it is crystal clear he is looking for a booty call vs. something long-term + exclusive.

If that is what you want as well > then you two have fun.

However if you are looking for something more permanent & exclusive, then you should keep looking.

Good luck. 👍🏽


This. Also did you see the thead about being ghosted after sex? The odds are higher you will be ghosted after sex with men you don't know.
This does not matter to some women. It bothers others.
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