morning and night duties

[Anonymous]

7 days a week, I do the morning.

M-Thursday, I read at night, DH does everything else.
F-Sunday, I do nothing at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm starting to reconsider who does what in our house. I just need to know...how do you split up these 2 things up? Do you do both?

1.morning duties (breakfast, getting kids to wake up, helping with clothes, reminding them to brush teeth, hair, put on shoes, mask, grab a jacket if it's cold, driving them to school)

and

2. bedtime duties (some nights bath time, stories, tuck in, request for snacks, drinks, and sometimes staying up with your child longer if they cant fall asleep right away)

AM: We split - the kids wake up before us and my 8 year old gets herself ready in the morning (except for hair), and since I wake up before my husband, I usually help the 6 year old get ready while he gets himself ready. Breakfast/coffee just depends on which of us goes downstairs first. Coat/shoes/mask/backpack is just routine. DH drives them to school.

PM: DH gives bath, I do hair, we have two kids, so we alternate tuck-ins.

[Anonymous]

AM- me. DH is out the door by 6:30am.

PM- I read stories and put the younger kids to bed at night, but I really enjoy that. DH does spend about 30 minutes most nights talking to our teenager with ASD about his special interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These posts always make me sad. I think I must just have a really good marriage because we both just pitch in all the time. There is no dividing chores, if it needs to be done, we just dive right in. Both of us.

Why does it make you sad? My kids like the predictability of mom does x and dad does y and we also alternate bedtime with each kid to make sure we get a little 1:1 time with each child. There are definitely times it’s not as efficient to have both parents around and it works better to stagger a little. I liked when I was not working from home that my husband did all the morning stuff and so did he because he can do it all (if we have prepped the night before) and I can start my work day earlier and end earlier. It’s ok now because I don’t have commute time but if I ever go back to the office we will have to be more efficient

[Anonymous]

Both do all, depending on the day and work schedules. We're not both home for all the times. He does 12/20 drop offs and pick ups. I do more at bedtime.

[Anonymous]

Dh does the first hour of the morning bc I can’t drag my body out of bed at 5am. In return, I get DC dressed and make lunch. I make dinner and do baths and read bedtime books. We both play w him for hours at night other than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts always make me sad. I think I must just have a really good marriage because we both just pitch in all the time. There is no dividing chores, if it needs to be done, we just dive right in. Both of us.

Why does it make you sad? My kids like the predictability of mom does x and dad does y and we also alternate bedtime with each kid to make sure we get a little 1:1 time with each child. There are definitely times it’s not as efficient to have both parents around and it works better to stagger a little. I liked when I was not working from home that my husband did all the morning stuff and so did he because he can do it all (if we have prepped the night before) and I can start my work day earlier and end earlier. It’s ok now because I don’t have commute time but if I ever go back to the office we will have to be more efficient

That poster is probably not the primary caregiver/household manager in the relationship. Only someone who doesn’t bear responsibility for things left undone feels that both partners “just pitching in” is a good way to divide chores and parenting responsibilities evenly.

[Anonymous]

I have to leave early so DH does the morning routine with the kids and drops them off for before care at their elementary school. I help by packing lunches in advance and laying out the water bottles, etc to make it easier. I also frequently make things for breakfast like granola, baked oatmeal, muffins, etc so he’s not scrambling at the last minute.

I get the kids from the bus in the afternoon and help with their lunch boxes and water bottles. I put the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher and make dinner and clean up dinner. DH helps with other things like shower, vacuuming under the table.

We switch off for tooth brushing and book reading. We both help tuck in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts always make me sad. I think I must just have a really good marriage because we both just pitch in all the time. There is no dividing chores, if it needs to be done, we just dive right in. Both of us.

Why does it make you sad? My kids like the predictability of mom does x and dad does y and we also alternate bedtime with each kid to make sure we get a little 1:1 time with each child. There are definitely times it’s not as efficient to have both parents around and it works better to stagger a little. I liked when I was not working from home that my husband did all the morning stuff and so did he because he can do it all (if we have prepped the night before) and I can start my work day earlier and end earlier. It’s ok now because I don’t have commute time but if I ever go back to the office we will have to be more efficient

That poster is probably not the primary caregiver/household manager in the relationship. Only someone who doesn’t bear responsibility for things left undone feels that both partners “just pitching in” is a good way to divide chores and parenting responsibilities evenly.

Not all of us are control freak SAHMs, PP. Many of us fortunate enough to have equal partners. I'm sorry you don't understand how that works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm starting to reconsider who does what in our house. I just need to know...how do you split up these 2 things up? Do you do both?

1.morning duties (breakfast, getting kids to wake up, helping with clothes, reminding them to brush teeth, hair, put on shoes, mask, grab a jacket if it's cold, driving them to school)

and

2. bedtime duties (some nights bath time, stories, tuck in, request for snacks, drinks, and sometimes staying up with your child longer if they cant fall asleep right away)

I do all mornings but Saturdays. DH leaves for work right as the kids wake during the week, and I am the one who wants Sunday school so it’s on me to te them there (agreed in advance bc that’s fair).

Bedtime, we both do but DH misses at least twice a week. Three kids, now 5,3, and 2 months.

[Anonymous]

I do mornings.
DH nights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These posts always make me sad. I think I must just have a really good marriage because we both just pitch in all the time. There is no dividing chores, if it needs to be done, we just dive right in. Both of us.

After a long day at work my DH likes to spend time one-on-one with our child at night. I used to want to do it but it really means a lot to him so I let him have it. Nothing sad about it. You're just weird & looking for a way to feel superior to internet strangers.

[Anonymous]

I do both always. But I’m a SAHM with a DH that works a lot of hours.

[Anonymous]

Mornings:
DH gets the kids up and makes them breakfast. I help get them ready and then take the older two to school. DH takes the younger one. Some weekend mornings I let DH sleep in.

Evenings: I do baths and help them get dressed. DH is the closer. He does stories and is the “bad cop” who makes sure they’re not running around in their room instead of reading/falling asleep. Our nanny makes dinner. I clean up while DH plays with the kids. I usually run out of steam around 7:30 and then DH finishes the job.

It works really well for us. I’m so glad not to be the default parent.