Any male to female trans person here? Serious questions about trans bottom surgery

[Anonymous]

PP, I’m the PP who pointed out the rampant ageist misogyny in the linked video and I appreciate your thoughtful answer. I wish I felt like more trans activists cared at all about misogyny. Honestly my sense is that a lot of the most vocal could not care less about misogyny. But your answer was kind and thoughtful, and I appreciate that you took the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, I’m the PP who pointed out the rampant ageist misogyny in the linked video and I appreciate your thoughtful answer. I wish I felt like more trans activists cared at all about misogyny. Honestly my sense is that a lot of the most vocal could not care less about misogyny. But your answer was kind and thoughtful, and I appreciate that you took the time.

I'm the PP who wrote the above and I appreciate it as well. I also offer tbe following advice as a person, not specifically gendered:

Don't self negate yourself for others either. Women, all women, too often make the mistake of doing that. I can understand that being in the middle of a transition is probably at least as stressful as puberty and a hundred times more solitary a venture, but you are brave and strong and fabulous and always will be so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I’m the PP who pointed out the rampant ageist misogyny in the linked video and I appreciate your thoughtful answer. I wish I felt like more trans activists cared at all about misogyny. Honestly my sense is that a lot of the most vocal could not care less about misogyny. But your answer was kind and thoughtful, and I appreciate that you took the time.

I'm the PP who wrote the above and I appreciate it as well. I also offer tbe following advice as a person, not specifically gendered:

Don't self negate yourself for others either. Women, all women, too often make the mistake of doing that. I can understand that being in the middle of a transition is probably at least as stressful as puberty and a hundred times more solitary a venture, but you are brave and strong and fabulous and always will be so.

I’m the PP who wrote about the misogyny in the linked video and I could not agree more. I got a sense from your thoughtful answer that you are doing that a little, and I agree with PP, you should not. You are brave and strong and wonderful and do not need to self negate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To continue from my point above, I'm willing to welcome you to the tribe (yes, I know it's always been your tribe in your opinion and I'm not discrediting that feeling). But being I the tribe means you have to play nice with other people in it. I know you think you've had the worst struggle and oppression ever, but a lot of us grew up being groped on the subway, ogled by random assholes when we were ten, bleeding and in agony once a month just to have doctors tell us the pain was all in our heads, shamed for being too fat or too thin or not nice enough or too ugly or too pretty. Some of us grew up raped, mutilated, some of us died bearing kids or almost did. We've all mostly made less money than our male counterparts and had to deal with catcalls on the street. Our grandmothers often had six kids by thirty, whether they wanted children at all. We've all been passed over for promotions, called names for having sex or for not having it. We've been assaulted, a lot of us end up shot daily by our "loving" partners and no one bats an eye. We bear children without a village. We cook meals for them in hotel rooms. We clean your toilets and we fold your laundry. We are everywhere. After fifty we are invisible unless we pluck and Botox and starve to look like the simulacrum of barbie you seem so fond of yourself....

In some cultures we are killed in the womb because our parents want sons. In other cultures we are married off at eleven, prized for being virgins. Discarded when our wombs empty.

Welcome to the tribe, as I said. No one cares what led you to us, we just ask that you afford us the same respect and decency and politeness that many of us (not me, obviously -- perhaps because I was raised by MEN) offer the world.

Yes, all of this except the “welcome to the tribe” part. I don’t welcome people who are hostile to me I’m trying to co-opt my identity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey there, I’m not a trans woman so can’t answer a lot of these; I’m a cis woman who has have dated trans women post SRS. In my experience the external labia and clit look, feel, and operate like a cis woman’s vulva, but there are structural differences that make a neovaginal canal somewhat different. One thing I think is really cool about SRS is that modern techniques end up reorganizing a lot of homologous tissues— when we’re in the womb, we have the same basic genital structures, which differentiate as we grow. SRS moves these tissues to where they would have been if you’d had a female rather than male hormone wash in the womb,, preserving as much tissue and nerve function as possible— the glans becomes the clitoris, the scrotum becomes the labia majora, etc. Many neovaginas are self-lubricating because they use the mucus membrane tissues of the penis (I’m blanking on the medical skin type name). Trans women do need to dilate the vaginal canal, because they don’t have the internal muscular structures to keep it open. Hair growing inside is possible, but considered grounds for a surgical revision and often kind of traumatic, it’s better to get electrolysis before SRS to make sure. Hormone replacement therapy changes your body chemistry and ime (hopefully not tmi) neovaginas smell, taste, and function like the normal kind. Orgasm is definitely possible but I obviously can’t speak to the lived experience.

If you’re curious you can check out https://www.reddit.com/r/Transgender_Surgeries/ — be warned it has NSFW images of people’s private parts, and often contains possibly upsetting, medically graphic photos of recent (like, days to weeks post-op) major surgery sites because it’s a community to help trans people educate themselves and each other about what to expect with these procedures, including sharing information about what different stages of healing should look like. You may want to lurk and absorb info, and if you ask trans forums the questions you asked here, I would spell out that you’re curious and want to be respectful, because even though you’re being nothing but polite, unfortunately there are a lot of trolls and hateful people who show up to surgery communities to make derogatory comments and be cruel to people who are sharing something very private and vulnerable and it doesn’t hurt to specify that you have good intentions. Good luck learning!

Thank you for taking the time to write this super informative post! I’m a mostly straight women (of the waist up lesbian variety) and find this fascinating- thank you for answering a lot of questions I would have not have had the courage to ask.

What does the bolded mean?

[Anonymous]

I really appreciate some of the nuanced (as the woman in the video said) answers and the respectful parts of the discussion. I found the video interesting and helpful. (I do wish she had skipped the witch with horns costume though). I have some of the very questions she posed but I don't feel any disgust about trans people. I actually just have the philosophical questions without all the insults that she insinuated must come after, but now that they get associated with TERFs, you cannot discuss them in good faith and that frustrates me.

I think the recent spotlight on the trans movement has really made me wonder what does it mean to be a woman? And I don't always agree with everything she said, but it doesn't come from a place of disgust. It comes from a place of...I don't know...feelings of uncertainty, disruption...I'm struggling to find the words. It's like, I'm happy to address you/acknowledge you as a woman, but that doesn't mean I agree with all those, what she called, dogmatic answers that people give to shut down the discussion from the actual transphobes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey there, I’m not a trans woman so can’t answer a lot of these; I’m a cis woman who has have dated trans women post SRS. In my experience the external labia and clit look, feel, and operate like a cis woman’s vulva, but there are structural differences that make a neovaginal canal somewhat different. One thing I think is really cool about SRS is that modern techniques end up reorganizing a lot of homologous tissues— when we’re in the womb, we have the same basic genital structures, which differentiate as we grow. SRS moves these tissues to where they would have been if you’d had a female rather than male hormone wash in the womb,, preserving as much tissue and nerve function as possible— the glans becomes the clitoris, the scrotum becomes the labia majora, etc. Many neovaginas are self-lubricating because they use the mucus membrane tissues of the penis (I’m blanking on the medical skin type name). Trans women do need to dilate the vaginal canal, because they don’t have the internal muscular structures to keep it open. Hair growing inside is possible, but considered grounds for a surgical revision and often kind of traumatic, it’s better to get electrolysis before SRS to make sure. Hormone replacement therapy changes your body chemistry and ime (hopefully not tmi) neovaginas smell, taste, and function like the normal kind. Orgasm is definitely possible but I obviously can’t speak to the lived experience.

If you’re curious you can check out https://www.reddit.com/r/Transgender_Surgeries/ — be warned it has NSFW images of people’s private parts, and often contains possibly upsetting, medically graphic photos of recent (like, days to weeks post-op) major surgery sites because it’s a community to help trans people educate themselves and each other about what to expect with these procedures, including sharing information about what different stages of healing should look like. You may want to lurk and absorb info, and if you ask trans forums the questions you asked here, I would spell out that you’re curious and want to be respectful, because even though you’re being nothing but polite, unfortunately there are a lot of trolls and hateful people who show up to surgery communities to make derogatory comments and be cruel to people who are sharing something very private and vulnerable and it doesn’t hurt to specify that you have good intentions. Good luck learning!

Thank you for taking the time to write this super informative post! I’m a mostly straight women (of the waist up lesbian variety) and find this fascinating- thank you for answering a lot of questions I would have not have had the courage to ask.

What does the bolded mean?

I wondered this also. I have never heard that expression before.

[Anonymous]

I’m not trans but I’ve gone down a rabbithole out of curiosity and the results can be really incredible. Many of the pictures I’ve seen are virtually indistinguishable from real vulvas. From what I understand they function very well too. Modern medicine is amazing. Bummer that the same energy, innovation, and dedication isn’t being put into FTM surgery. They basically get a sad cylindrical flesh tube constructed from skin grafted from their forearm. Not pretty. Just like in every other arena, biological males get all the best to fulfill their gender affirmation and females are an afterthought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not trans but I’ve gone down a rabbithole out of curiosity and the results can be really incredible. Many of the pictures I’ve seen are virtually indistinguishable from real vulvas. From what I understand they function very well too. Modern medicine is amazing. Bummer that the same energy, innovation, and dedication isn’t being put into FTM surgery. They basically get a sad cylindrical flesh tube constructed from skin grafted from their forearm. Not pretty. Just like in every other arena, biological males get all the best to fulfill their gender affirmation and females are an afterthought.

Yup. Trans women get new anatomy that looks and feels like the real thing AND retain their ability to orgasm. Trans men get…yeah, floppy flesh tube. I’m sure it helps with dysphoria but there’s no comparison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not trans but I’ve gone down a rabbithole out of curiosity and the results can be really incredible. Many of the pictures I’ve seen are virtually indistinguishable from real vulvas. From what I understand they function very well too. Modern medicine is amazing. Bummer that the same energy, innovation, and dedication isn’t being put into FTM surgery. They basically get a sad cylindrical flesh tube constructed from skin grafted from their forearm. Not pretty. Just like in every other arena, biological males get all the best to fulfill their gender affirmation and females are an afterthought.

Yup. Trans women get new anatomy that looks and feels like the real thing AND retain their ability to orgasm. Trans men get…yeah, floppy flesh tube. I’m sure it helps with dysphoria but there’s no comparison.

That speaks to some of the frustration so many women have about MTF trans, along with the PP's diatribe of what cis women have gone through in the first 10, 20, 40 yrs of being a woman. Soaking up all the male privilege and then switching into what they want while either retaining or getting new privileges, while the FTM, are left with the crumbs. As always. Nothing to do with transphobia, everything to do with this still being a man's world.