Any male to female trans person here? Serious questions about trans bottom surgery
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I was watching this movie about a trans girl in love with a straight guy and the movie has me genuinely curious about bottom surgery and I have a few questions.
After surgery, does the vagina (the whole thing - labia, clit, vaginal canal) look just like a female vagina or does it look different? Does hair grow there? Any changes in body hair? If you have a male partner, how does sex feel like for them? Is it just the way it is with a born as female person for them? How does sex feel for you? Can you orgasm? If you can, does it feel similar to when you had the male parts? Or is it different in intensity? How does peeing feel? Are you happy with your decision? Pros and Cons from your perspective? |
Anonymous
|
Hey there, I’m not a trans woman so can’t answer a lot of these; I’m a cis woman who has have dated trans women post SRS. In my experience the external labia and clit look, feel, and operate like a cis woman’s vulva, but there are structural differences that make a neovaginal canal somewhat different. One thing I think is really cool about SRS is that modern techniques end up reorganizing a lot of homologous tissues— when we’re in the womb, we have the same basic genital structures, which differentiate as we grow. SRS moves these tissues to where they would have been if you’d had a female rather than male hormone wash in the womb,, preserving as much tissue and nerve function as possible— the glans becomes the clitoris, the scrotum becomes the labia majora, etc. Many neovaginas are self-lubricating because they use the mucus membrane tissues of the penis (I’m blanking on the medical skin type name). Trans women do need to dilate the vaginal canal, because they don’t have the internal muscular structures to keep it open. Hair growing inside is possible, but considered grounds for a surgical revision and often kind of traumatic, it’s better to get electrolysis before SRS to make sure. Hormone replacement therapy changes your body chemistry and ime (hopefully not tmi) neovaginas smell, taste, and function like the normal kind. Orgasm is definitely possible but I obviously can’t speak to the lived experience.
If you’re curious you can check out https://www.reddit.com/r/Transgender_Surgeries/ — be warned it has NSFW images of people’s private parts, and often contains possibly upsetting, medically graphic photos of recent (like, days to weeks post-op) major surgery sites because it’s a community to help trans people educate themselves and each other about what to expect with these procedures, including sharing information about what different stages of healing should look like. You may want to lurk and absorb info, and if you ask trans forums the questions you asked here, I would spell out that you’re curious and want to be respectful, because even though you’re being nothing but polite, unfortunately there are a lot of trolls and hateful people who show up to surgery communities to make derogatory comments and be cruel to people who are sharing something very private and vulnerable and it doesn’t hurt to specify that you have good intentions. Good luck learning! |
Anonymous
Thank you for taking the time to write this super informative post! I’m a mostly straight women (of the waist up lesbian variety) and find this fascinating- thank you for answering a lot of questions I would have not have had the courage to ask. |
Anonymous
It's literally not an open wound. There are pelvic muscles that contract without dilation. Some depth will be lost by the contraction of the pelvic floor muscles. The entire thing will never seal back up and often times that depth can actually be recovered later if someone starts dilating again. There's no "wound" there. It heals up. Calling it an "open wound" is a literal TERF talking point by people that want trans people to disappear from existence. And yes, I mean literally TERF as in LITERALLY TERF. It's a TERF phrase just like trans identifying male/female (TIM/TIF). |
Anonymous
| Didn’t Jazz Jennings have surgery at 17? They’re still dilating now at 21, so four years later. That doesn’t sound “healed” to me if it requires daily action to stay open. |
Anonymous
I’m not disgusted. I’m just exhausted. It’s like hanging out with someone who keeps trying to convert you to their religion. I just don’t see it, I don’t sense it, I don’t believe it. You do you, but that’s where it needs to end. |
Anonymous
No one is trying to convert you. Literally no trans person cares if you are cis or trans. No one understand that 99.5% of the population is cis better than trans people and no one understand that people can't be "converted" better than trans people. We've had people try to convert us for years. There are literally people online that try to get trans people to kill themselves, they use the euphemism "the day of the rope" or simply "he's going to rope". |
Anonymous
I'm pretty sure I already explained this. There are muscles that contract. It isn't an "open wound" and will never completely seal up. It can just loose depth. To be completely blunt, your ear piercings will seal up more than a neovagina and I don't hear people calling them open wounds. |
Anonymous
That’s not at all what I’m asserting. I’m not worried about you “turning” me trans. You insist you are a woman, based on a feeing you have that you believe makes you intrinsically female. But the more time I spend with you, the more I’m convinced that your belief is like a religious belief. You can rationalize it however you want, but in the end, it is your belief. I don’t see that your feeling makes you a woman. I see other things at play. I don’t feel it, I don’t see it, I don’t sense it, you don’t give off “woman” vibes. You are free to believe what you want, but you can’t force others to subscribe to an ideology. If you want me to respect your definition of what it means to you to be a woman, then you need to respect mine. |
Anonymous
I will never be able to convince you that I am who I say I am. That's clear. I do find it curious that you would come into this particular thread and make these comments though. It's you seeking out trans people to make us read your opinions and beliefs. It's the equivalent of a religious bigot seeking out threads about cis lesbian women and tell them that two eggs can't make a baby therefore only one is the "real" mom. To be clear, I believe they're both mom's. Question, so if I, a post-op trans woman getting married to a cis woman, are we a straight couple? |
Anonymous
I didn’t post in this thread until I watched the YouTube clip. The takeaway I got from the clip is that “anti trans” sentiment originates from disgust. I came hear to say that while you may label me a TERF, I’m not disgusted. I don’t care how natal males or females want to present. But I’m exhausted. I’m tired of being pressured to include you in womens’ and lesbians spaces when the energy you give off is male energy and you are male to me. Hmm, the marriage you speak of? Eh, tomato tomahto. Why does it matter, post op or not? You were the same person before, no? I wouldn’t say straight, or lesbian. Queer is a nice catch-all. |
Anonymous
|
NP. I watched the entire video linked above. It was interesting and informative and I appreciate the link. But given that TERF is used as a general derogatory term for older women, having her dress as a literal witch when she is discussing gender critical points was very, very disturbing. It was deeply misogynist and vicious.
I kept thinking, wow, does the history of older women being called witches mean nothing to you? Is it just a game to you? Something fun? |
Anonymous
No one is trying to kill you. No one is threatening you. No one cares about your choices. They are yours. You are a woman. No one (here) is denying that. But let's be realistic. There are drawbacks. There are issues. Surgery isn't magic. Magical thinking about gender doesn't change the facts. You being a woman doesn't mean the rest of us need to agree with you about every single thing. And fwiw, the raging misogyny (there is no other word for it) that comes from the transwomen crowd directed against other women IS disturbing. I feel like a lot of it's rooted in some pretty deep self-hatred. Most women understand self-hatred and doubt quite well--in fact I suspect most people understand it, regardless of gender. You might try realizing that instead of thinking you're in some zero-sum game, some grand adventure where you're the delicate heroine of your very special story. |
Anonymous
|
To continue from my point above, I'm willing to welcome you to the tribe (yes, I know it's always been your tribe in your opinion and I'm not discrediting that feeling). But being I the tribe means you have to play nice with other people in it. I know you think you've had the worst struggle and oppression ever, but a lot of us grew up being groped on the subway, ogled by random assholes when we were ten, bleeding and in agony once a month just to have doctors tell us the pain was all in our heads, shamed for being too fat or too thin or not nice enough or too ugly or too pretty. Some of us grew up raped, mutilated, some of us died bearing kids or almost did. We've all mostly made less money than our male counterparts and had to deal with catcalls on the street. Our grandmothers often had six kids by thirty, whether they wanted children at all. We've all been passed over for promotions, called names for having sex or for not having it. We've been assaulted, a lot of us end up shot daily by our "loving" partners and no one bats an eye. We bear children without a village. We cook meals for them in hotel rooms. We clean your toilets and we fold your laundry. We are everywhere. After fifty we are invisible unless we pluck and Botox and starve to look like the simulacrum of barbie you seem so fond of yourself....
In some cultures we are killed in the womb because our parents want sons. In other cultures we are married off at eleven, prized for being virgins. Discarded when our wombs empty. Welcome to the tribe, as I said. No one cares what led you to us, we just ask that you afford us the same respect and decency and politeness that many of us (not me, obviously -- perhaps because I was raised by MEN) offer the world. |
Anonymous
I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with trans women that are misogynistic towards you. Just like with everyone else, the worst among us seem to be the most outspoken. I think I'm more typical in that my life isn't so much a grand journey or a very special story and more of a journey from the bed to the couch to watch Netflix while wearing sweatpants or leggings and a sweater. I don't particularly enjoy leaving the house and having people interact with me. When I do go out, I pretty much always wear a hoodie which is a trans meme because it hides our body before, during, and after transition. All kinds of changes happen on hormones but they take time and sometimes, for trans women, they might have breasts long before they've had their beard completely removed or have had enough facial changes so it's easier to wear the trademarked hoodie (or better yet, not go out!). For trans men, they often wear a hoodie as well. They might have been on T long enough that they basically pass as a man (face looks like a man, beard, short haircut, deep voice) but haven't had top surgery and no man wants to have obvious breasts (and this includes cis men with gynecomastia). Anyway, point being, I don't think the people you're interacting with that behave that way are at all "regular" trans people. You will literally never interact with most of us as we're typically trying to reduce interactions not go on some rant about cis women. Unless you're talking about online of course in which case trans women are more likely to interact with you since it's safe from you actually seeing us.
I fully understand this and trust me, I always show cis women respect and decency. TBH, I am hyper concerned of how cis women might feel around me. I just assume everyone can tell I'm trans and I try not to drink fluids when I'm not at home so I don't have to use the bathroom. Obviously it doesn't always work out but I do my best to not make other people uncomfortable anywhere at any time. I've read accounts of some trans women wearing Depends so that they never have to go to the bathroom. I'm not willing to going that far. It just seems too uncomfortable and besides, at some point you have to change your adult diaper which I assume you'll do in a bathroom anyway which just seems even weirder than just peeing there (or I suppose you can remove it at home I suppose if you don't mind being in a wet diaper for some amount of time). |