What Do You Do When Toddler Isn't Allowed to Go to Daycare?

[Anonymous]

We haven't had hardly any COVID closures yet, and just a small number of sick days. But that is my good luck, and you are right to plan ahead.

Here are some options/considerations:

1) Keep looking for a nanny share. But - you may not be able to send kid/have kid in nanny share sick, so not sure this solves your problem.
2) Evaluate if you can tolerate some Leave w/out pay, and if the cost of that offsets the cost of switching to daycare vs nanny
3) Backup care. Does your work offer this as a benefit? (Mine does.) Would you use it if your kid was sick (I probably wouldn't unless I was desparate.) Can you even come up with nannys/babysitters to step in as backup care, and how much does that cost per an incident? I like the suggestion to have a deep bench of babysitters, but building that seems overwhelming to me.
4) New job? This is kind of extreme and not an easy option, but some job are more flexible about this compared to others. Is there one with better leave policies available?
5) In home daycares seem to have less strict sick policies in COVID times. But it is a mixed bag. You might catch more colds that you have to test for there, compared to places that are more strict.

[Anonymous]

How old is your child, OP?

[Anonymous]

We use annual leave and sick leave. My employer also offers a limited number of backup care days. And we do shifts if necessary.

[Anonymous]

My kid went to daycare starting from 4 months old. This was before the pandemic but almost the entire first year was a nightmare of practically every daycare virus on the planet. I lost track of the number of sick days we had to take. Just keep in mind that if your child is going to daycare for the first time they may pick up bugs other than Covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid went to daycare starting from 4 months old. This was before the pandemic but almost the entire first year was a nightmare of practically every daycare virus on the planet. I lost track of the number of sick days we had to take. Just keep in mind that if your child is going to daycare for the first time they may pick up bugs other than Covid.[/quote

It's really dependent on the child. I had one kid who got sick a lot and one who NEVER ever had a single fever. Like never even had a low grade fever. Rarely did he get illnesses from the other kid despite them sharing everything.

[Anonymous]

Talk to your employer about flexible work. My employer allows me to work any 80 hours over each 2 week period as long as I get the work done and show up for meetings. My spouse can work credit hours (up to 24) and use them for leave any time over the year (credit hours do not roll over the calendar year). So, when our kids were small and in daycare, my wife worked extra hours as much as possible early on and tried to max out her credit hours. When the kids were sick, we time shifted so that we were non-overlapping and I would have some short days, but as long as I made up the time before the end of the pay period, I was okay. And my wife would use her credit hours. When the kids were healthy and back in daycare, she would work evenings to build up her credit hour bank again. But we always juggled to make sure that if either of us had work commitments that we tried to make sure we both met our commitments.

We did have one period when the kids were home where we shifted. My wife would work from 6am to 2pm and I would work from 2pm-10pm. It wasn't optimal, and fortunately it was relatively short, but we made it work, thanks to very accommodating bosses and jobs. It's hard, but start by talking to your employers and finding out what options there are for flexible work and then see if there is a way to make it work between you. Fortunately, this is only when the kids can't go to daycare. But it's very unfortunate that due to Covid, this is happening a lot more than it used to.

[Anonymous]

Choose a daycare with a very strict policy about sending sick children. It sounds counterintuitive, but my child has had exactly one cold in more than a year of daycare, because our daycare does not mess around with “oh it’s just allergies”. They’re also strict on hand washing and mask compliance for staff (my daughter is too young for a mask) so you need to do your research and select a caregiver that prioritizes healthy classrooms. You may find that is more expensive than a nanny, though.

[Anonymous]

Flexible work helps — I use PTO (we just have one bucket) and if necessary LWOP and try to make up my hours late at night when I can manage it. I have a demanding job but my employer is at least very nice about the fact that kids will get sick. It’s not ideal and I sometimes end up calling in to meetings while supersizing snacks, etc. Fortunately, my older kid seems to have a fairly hearty immune system so she’s only out a few days every two months or so. Hoping the younger turns out the same.

[Anonymous]

I took the opposite approach of PP who recommended strict sick policy daycares. I went for a mask-optional, pragmatic daycare that understands kids get runny noses in winter but will exclude for anything beyond that. We haven't had too many absences, and no COVID quarantines (knock on wood) but a few here and there. Here's what I do when kid is out of daycare.

-flexible work - I work from home generally, and I will prioritize 6am-7:30am, 12:00-2:00 (naptime) and 5:30pm onward (when DH is home) for major projects.

-split shifts with DH

-I have a couple backup babysitters who are ok being around kids with mild cold as long as COVID test negative. I use home rapid tests frequently. This is by far the best option because no one's work schedule is impacted and you still have childcare. Look on care.com

-the rip cord: asking out-of-state (but not too far away) grandma to come. I would do this as long as kid does not actively have covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look for a nanny share. They’re better for both you and your child and can be less expensive than daycare.

+1. Start looking for another family now and hire a great nanny. It’ll be good for your child and for you with far, far fewer illnesses and days off work. $15 per family will get you a solid nanny.

+2. Daycare killed us. DS was sick all the time. Another family from daycare joined us in a nanny share with a great former preschool teacher. The kids were healthier, happier, learning more, and we didn’t get fired or have to face angry coworkers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Choose a daycare with a very strict policy about sending sick children. It sounds counterintuitive, but my child has had exactly one cold in more than a year of daycare, because our daycare does not mess around with “oh it’s just allergies”. They’re also strict on hand washing and mask compliance for staff (my daughter is too young for a mask) so you need to do your research and select a caregiver that prioritizes healthy classrooms. You may find that is more expensive than a nanny, though.

That is great for you but as a parent with a kid with allergies and cough asthma not so much. I will say that once they put in an real air purifier in the classroom and we did an inhaler for a few weeks (also have to start it at every hint of a cold) we are no longer seeing our ped every 3-6 weeks, which was the routine from Nov 2020-May 2021 and then again in Oct 2021 where I was like I cant do this again so we tried an inhaler and voila.

[Anonymous]

My kid has only been out for maybe 2-3 weeks totally over the past year.

We take turns, work during nap or after bedtime, we do episodes of Sesame Street, I put his table next to my desk and let him color or build with blocks, I put on music and he just runs/dances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Choose a daycare with a very strict policy about sending sick children. It sounds counterintuitive, but my child has had exactly one cold in more than a year of daycare, because our daycare does not mess around with “oh it’s just allergies”. They’re also strict on hand washing and mask compliance for staff (my daughter is too young for a mask) so you need to do your research and select a caregiver that prioritizes healthy classrooms. You may find that is more expensive than a nanny, though.

That is great for you but as a parent with a kid with allergies and cough asthma not so much. I will say that once they put in an real air purifier in the classroom and we did an inhaler for a few weeks (also have to start it at every hint of a cold) we are no longer seeing our ped every 3-6 weeks, which was the routine from Nov 2020-May 2021 and then again in Oct 2021 where I was like I cant do this again so we tried an inhaler and voila.

+1 my kid has horrible seasonal allergies just like Mom, and we live in a dusty old house (as much as I try to keep up with it, it'll always be a little dusty and musty). This absolutely would not work for us.