2-month wait fatigue

[Anonymous]

I'd suggest thinking about the parent community as something that isn't immediately obvious. We chose schools based on where we thought we could see our child thrive as well as to be surrounded by parents with similar outlooks/values. We ruled out some of the schools that were equivalent because of reputation. We probably should not have done that (we have friends with kids at some but succumbed to snotty reputational proxies). But the school we chose (and got into) is at the top reputationally and also the right fit for her and for us. And as an extra word of caution: there was one particular set of parents who we sized up as a bit aspirational, a little too trendy in their car and dress and appearance, and we*could*not*have*been*more*wrong about them. Among the nicest, down to earth, and warmest people and their child is an absolutely delightful and sweet friend to ours. All to say, don't pre-judge and if you get some offers, try to really look past some of the stereotypes and give people a chance (while also realizing there are some people who are rightfully going to turn you off and so be it, they'll be at the public school, too).

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks all for the replies. You made me think. I will try to stop pre-judging!

[Anonymous]

OP, glad these replies made you think! Stereotypes are very often incorrect and you may be missing out on meeting a great person.

-signed a private school family with 2 wealthy, white lawyers that like to vacation in National Parks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what is your question? Your "white wealthy lawyers" seems aggressive and unnecessary. From my kids' school I share this tip when you post:

T is this TRUE?
H Is it HELPFUL?
I Is it IMPORTANT?
N Is it NICE?
K Is it KIND?

Not to nit pick, but nice and kind are redundant. I'd always seen this as:
True
Helpful
Inspiring
Necessary
Kind

But I'm not sure my comment is necessary - or inspiring!

I'm the PP, it was necessary to change redundancy of Nice and Kin to Necessary! I still stay with Important rather than Inspiring

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, glad these replies made you think! Stereotypes are very often incorrect and you may be missing out on meeting a great person.

-signed a private school family with 2 wealthy, white lawyers that like to vacation in National Parks

Loved this.

[Anonymous]

OP, sounds like you are pre-judging both private and public with little experience of either.

[Anonymous]

It seems like you are having anxiety about the situation. Maybe nervous about getting rejected so you are rejecting them first? Maybe nervous that you are making the right choice? Maybe nervous about the 13 year financial commitment?

Since you’ve already applied, the best that I can say is juts relax and wait until March. Wait until you get the acceptances and then participate in the accepted events/visits.

In the meantime, why not reach out to your local public school about K enrollment? Maybe you can visit (doubtful with COVID but worth a shot), maybe you can speak with a parent at the school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if I offended you, but they are a type. And I feel like they are one step removed from that smoothie guy.

Wow, that is a REALLY through admissions team! They personally introduced you to all the families at the school AND told you what they did for a living and where they vacation. That is a dedicated staff

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to be rude, but how can you be unhappy with public schools if your kid hasn't started yet? Aren't you looking for K?

There are a lot of good things about private and a lot of good things about public - I had one kid each all the way through. So, pick what you want if you can afford it but no reason to worry so much about kindergarten.

If you don't pick right, you can try to change later. And you can always return to public.

Fair question. It’s based on conversations with friends in other parts of the county. And I imagine the curriculum / screen time / testing is pretty consistent across all schools in the county?

It’s not even consistent between different classrooms in the same grade in the same school!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to be rude, but how can you be unhappy with public schools if your kid hasn't started yet? Aren't you looking for K?

There are a lot of good things about private and a lot of good things about public - I had one kid each all the way through. So, pick what you want if you can afford it but no reason to worry so much about kindergarten.

If you don't pick right, you can try to change later. And you can always return to public.

Fair question. It’s based on conversations with friends in other parts of the county. And I imagine the curriculum / screen time / testing is pretty consistent across all schools in the county?

It’s not even consistent between different classrooms in the same grade in the same school!

OP here. Then I guess there’s no way to know what I’ll get with public? My worry is we go public, hate it, and it takes us several years to get out, since there are only certain expansion years in private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to be rude, but how can you be unhappy with public schools if your kid hasn't started yet? Aren't you looking for K?

There are a lot of good things about private and a lot of good things about public - I had one kid each all the way through. So, pick what you want if you can afford it but no reason to worry so much about kindergarten.

If you don't pick right, you can try to change later. And you can always return to public.

Fair question. It’s based on conversations with friends in other parts of the county. And I imagine the curriculum / screen time / testing is pretty consistent across all schools in the county?

It’s not even consistent between different classrooms in the same grade in the same school!

OP here. Then I guess there’s no way to know what I’ll get with public? My worry is we go public, hate it, and it takes us several years to get out, since there are only certain expansion years in private.

Legitimate concern, but it will work out- promise. I’m sure your DC will thrive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to be rude, but how can you be unhappy with public schools if your kid hasn't started yet? Aren't you looking for K?

There are a lot of good things about private and a lot of good things about public - I had one kid each all the way through. So, pick what you want if you can afford it but no reason to worry so much about kindergarten.

If you don't pick right, you can try to change later. And you can always return to public.

Fair question. It’s based on conversations with friends in other parts of the county. And I imagine the curriculum / screen time / testing is pretty consistent across all schools in the county?

It’s not even consistent between different classrooms in the same grade in the same school!

OP here. Then I guess there’s no way to know what I’ll get with public? My worry is we go public, hate it, and it takes us several years to get out, since there are only certain expansion years in private.

Legitimate concern, but it will work out- promise. I’m sure your DC will thrive.

The bigger issue with starting in public is that your kid won't want to leave his/her friends in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We applied to a couple of schools for K and now I don’t even know if I want to get in. Might be better to get denied and have no option but our local public (which is pretty good). Most of the parents seem like typical white wealthy lawyers and commercial real estate brokers. They all take fancy ski trips and vacations. Our HHI is solid enough to afford private education but not all of those extras on top (and we are more national park people anyways). I feel like we, and by extension our child, won’t fit in and will be left out, since many friendships at that age come from the parents. Otoh I’m not happy with public schools in general - too much screens, too much testing, not enough joy…

Don't pre-judge the private before even being part of the community. You will find your people. Every school has others like you. I'm one of them. You'll be surprised at how down to earth some people with $$ are, and how easy it is to not cross paths with the super high powered ones. It's never been an issue, as long as you don't make it an issue.

[Anonymous]

You do know there are A type parents in public too? Ones that take fancy vacations too.