2-month wait fatigue

[Anonymous]

We applied to a couple of schools for K and now I don’t even know if I want to get in. Might be better to get denied and have no option but our local public (which is pretty good). Most of the parents seem like typical white wealthy lawyers and commercial real estate brokers. They all take fancy ski trips and vacations. Our HHI is solid enough to afford private education but not all of those extras on top (and we are more national park people anyways). I feel like we, and by extension our child, won’t fit in and will be left out, since many friendships at that age come from the parents. Otoh I’m not happy with public schools in general - too much screens, too much testing, not enough joy…

[Anonymous]

So what is your question? Your "white wealthy lawyers" seems aggressive and unnecessary. From my kids' school I share this tip when you post:

T is this TRUE?
H Is it HELPFUL?
I Is it IMPORTANT?
N Is it NICE?
K Is it KIND?

[Anonymous]

Sorry if I offended you, but they are a type. And I feel like they are one step removed from that smoothie guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We applied to a couple of schools for K and now I don’t even know if I want to get in. Might be better to get denied and have no option but our local public (which is pretty good). Most of the parents seem like typical white wealthy lawyers and commercial real estate brokers. They all take fancy ski trips and vacations. Our HHI is solid enough to afford private education but not all of those extras on top (and we are more national park people anyways). I feel like we, and by extension our child, won’t fit in and will be left out, since many friendships at that age come from the parents. Otoh I’m not happy with public schools in general - too much screens, too much testing, not enough joy…

FWIW, not everyone takes fancy ski vacations and stuff. Sure, there are some families with a lot of wealth, but there are also alot like you and me.

[Anonymous]

Not to be rude, but how can you be unhappy with public schools if your kid hasn't started yet? Aren't you looking for K?

There are a lot of good things about private and a lot of good things about public - I had one kid each all the way through. So, pick what you want if you can afford it but no reason to worry so much about kindergarten.

If you don't pick right, you can try to change later. And you can always return to public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to be rude, but how can you be unhappy with public schools if your kid hasn't started yet? Aren't you looking for K?

There are a lot of good things about private and a lot of good things about public - I had one kid each all the way through. So, pick what you want if you can afford it but no reason to worry so much about kindergarten.

If you don't pick right, you can try to change later. And you can always return to public.

Fair question. It’s based on conversations with friends in other parts of the county. And I imagine the curriculum / screen time / testing is pretty consistent across all schools in the county?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what is your question? Your "white wealthy lawyers" seems aggressive and unnecessary. From my kids' school I share this tip when you post:

T is this TRUE?
H Is it HELPFUL?
I Is it IMPORTANT?
N Is it NICE?
K Is it KIND?

Not to nit pick, but nice and kind are redundant. I'd always seen this as:
True
Helpful
Inspiring
Necessary
Kind

But I'm not sure my comment is necessary - or inspiring!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We applied to a couple of schools for K and now I don’t even know if I want to get in. Might be better to get denied and have no option but our local public (which is pretty good). Most of the parents seem like typical white wealthy lawyers and commercial real estate brokers. They all take fancy ski trips and vacations. Our HHI is solid enough to afford private education but not all of those extras on top (and we are more national park people anyways). I feel like we, and by extension our child, won’t fit in and will be left out, since many friendships at that age come from the parents. Otoh I’m not happy with public schools in general - too much screens, too much testing, not enough joy…

We went to private PK for many of the same reasons and are definitely on the lower end of the income scale at our private. I really love the education, the community, and my child is happy which is worth a lot but we are conscious of not playing the keeping up with jones game. I went to private and was in the same boat as my child, on the lower end of the income scale which can have a negative impact on kid's that lack self-confidence. We do what we can to reinforce confidence and identity. For me the thing I wanted more than anything was time with my two working parents and for them to be involved at my school so we try stay engaged with the school community. I found the private parents far more engaged than at our public and at the end of the day middle class or uber wealthy, we all just want a good education for our kids. We have found several families like ours so we feel like we have our bubble in the community but there is a bit of cultural pull that would not exist in public. On the other hand, I don't worry that my child is falling behind or not finding school joyful like I did a public so its a trade off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We applied to a couple of schools for K and now I don’t even know if I want to get in. Might be better to get denied and have no option but our local public (which is pretty good). Most of the parents seem like typical white wealthy lawyers and commercial real estate brokers. They all take fancy ski trips and vacations. Our HHI is solid enough to afford private education but not all of those extras on top (and we are more national park people anyways). I feel like we, and by extension our child, won’t fit in and will be left out, since many friendships at that age come from the parents. Otoh I’m not happy with public schools in general - too much screens, too much testing, not enough joy…

FWIW, not everyone takes fancy ski vacations and stuff. Sure, there are some families with a lot of wealth, but there are also alot like you and me.

Very true- fancy vacations and lots of extras aren’t in the budget for us. We don’t talk about it but we know we’re not alone. Don’t worry, OP, if your DC is accepted, you’ll find your footing. It really isn’t that big of a deal. Some of those fancy lawyers are pretty nice. Go in with an open mind, fresh eyes and try to push out all of the negative things your friends have said. It won’t help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if I offended you, but they are a type. And I feel like they are one step removed from that smoothie guy.

NP here. Then don't send your kid to that school. You sound immature and have preconceived notions of the parents at the school, which will affect your kid's experience. If you go in with utter disdain, how is that helpful for your child? If you are going to private, then give it - and the people there - a chance. For your kid's sake.

Your comments on ski vacations, etc sound like jealousy. Maybe some exercises in gratitude would help your perspective a bit.

[Anonymous]

If you’re not feeling it, maybe these schools aren’t the right fit for your family. Have you reached out to the principal or PTA at your local public school? It sounds like you’re basing your views on national sentiment but public schools can vary widely and the local level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not feeling it, maybe these schools aren’t the right fit for your family. Have you reached out to the principal or PTA at your local public school? It sounds like you’re basing your views on national sentiment but public schools can vary widely and the local level.

We had a fabulous expert at our local public but moved to private for middle. I would make sure that you are basing your public school opinion on the actual school and not some anxiety based fear of public schools in general. Talk to parents, go on the tour and ask questions. I cannot believe the contrast in experience between our local public and that of my friend in another part of the country when it comes to teacher quality, differentiation and school support teams. She lived a nice suburb in the Midwest, but our elementary exp was far superior overall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not feeling it, maybe these schools aren’t the right fit for your family. Have you reached out to the principal or PTA at your local public school? It sounds like you’re basing your views on national sentiment but public schools can vary widely and the local level.

We had a fabulous expert at our local public but moved to private for middle. I would make sure that you are basing your public school opinion on the actual school and not some anxiety based fear of public schools in general. Talk to parents, go on the tour and ask questions. I cannot believe the contrast in experience between our local public and that of my friend in another part of the country when it comes to teacher quality, differentiation and school support teams. She lived a nice suburb in the Midwest, but our elementary exp was far superior overall.

Fabulous experience that should say

I’m (obviously) in the do local public assuming it is good and save your money for middle/high school/college.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a great position; if your kid gets in, it’s more options, and if you don’t, you’ll be fine.
Best thing to remember is the decision need not be permanent. If I had a good local school, I would try that first, and switch to private if I found it wasn’t working for us.

[Anonymous]

Do you really want your child to perpetuate your own anxieties about interacting with wealthy people? I don’t. I hope my kid can learn to interact with different backgrounds, including very wealthy families.