My 15yo niece is airing all of her parents dirty laundry on tiktok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A teen in our family overheard about another family member's affair, and proceeded to tell half the family (including child whose parent was cheating) about it. This was before TikTok. Teen's excuse was that she was processing it. Some kids have major boundary issues and cannot understand the impact of their actions.

Yeah, this was inappropriate , but I suspect what made everyone upset here wasn’t that the teenager didn’t have boundaries but that she didn’t keep the grownups’ secrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell her parents?
Did you reach out to your niece?
It seems she needs a reasonable, emotionally mature adult she can rely on?
She needs to be in therapy to help navigate this family transition.

She is getting a ton of therapy. This was about her therapy.

So they should have her take it down and let the therapist know what happened. Therapy is a great place to learn boundaries.

Perhaps but it would seem pretty self-serving by the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like Claudia Conway.

That was my first thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A teen in our family overheard about another family member's affair, and proceeded to tell half the family (including child whose parent was cheating) about it. This was before TikTok. Teen's excuse was that she was processing it. Some kids have major boundary issues and cannot understand the impact of their actions.

Yeah, this was inappropriate , but I suspect what made everyone upset here wasn’t that the teenager didn’t have boundaries but that she didn’t keep the grownups’ secrets.

Exactly, these are the consequences of their actions.
A lot of adults don't have boundaries when it comes to spilling the beans when it comes to an affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like Claudia Conway.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A teen in our family overheard about another family member's affair, and proceeded to tell half the family (including child whose parent was cheating) about it. This was before TikTok. Teen's excuse was that she was processing it. Some kids have major boundary issues and cannot understand the impact of their actions.

The adults discussing it should have been responsible and not let the teenager overhear. Of course kids repeat what they hear.

Ridiculous to expect a teenager to keep their mouth shut when the adults couldn’t do it. Also ridiculous that adults would discuss affairs in front of a teen, that’s the boundary violation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A consequence of throwing intense marital trauma into your children's lives is that they will process it the way they need to process it.

When you make your problems your kids problems you lose control of the narrative.

Maybe. But the way TikTok seems to work amongst the kids is that when they see someone getting a lot of attention for airing dirty laundry or for having some sort of affliction, they suddenly all start manufacturing their own dirty laundry and claiming various afflictions. Beware and check in on what your kids are posting (and seeing) every now and then.

Tiktok does so this but kids do it in real life too. Once I overheard my daughter (I wasn’t eavesdropping, I was walking by her room and her door was open) suggest to her school counselor that her parents weren’t accepting of her sexuality (she is bi). But when DD came out to us, our reaction was “that’s great, we are proud of you, we are glad you feel safe enough to tell us!” so I disagree with her take and I think she just wanted the attention. She’s never getting Tiktok.

This is why I am never encouraging my son to go see a school counselor. First, they are often very inexperienced; second, kids say things to get attention. All in all it’s just a recipe for disaster and a way to be on the school’s radar without any need. They can go to a private counselor I will happily pay for. I got burnt in elementary when CPS was called on me for nothing due to my son attending a counselor and wanting some attention.

[Anonymous]

My kid is only 11 but I have told him to minimize any talk about his parents to other people. “You can talk about your life but please avoid talking about mine”. Not sure if he follows that rule but I also try to keep drama to a minimum and I actually try to not disclose certain things. He doesn’t know how much I earn and some specifics about our living situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A consequence of throwing intense marital trauma into your children's lives is that they will process it the way they need to process it.

When you make your problems your kids problems you lose control of the narrative.

Well said and I 100% agree. If those parents didn't want others to know about their problems then they should have kept their problems more private from their kids. Parents like that make me so mad ... how dare they inflict their trauma on innocent kids? It is infuriating. As far as I am concerned, go for it kid and post all you want. Let it all hang out because your parents suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A consequence of throwing intense marital trauma into your children's lives is that they will process it the way they need to process it.

When you make your problems your kids problems you lose control of the narrative.

Well said and I 100% agree. If those parents didn't want others to know about their problems then they should have kept their problems more private from their kids. Parents like that make me so mad ... how dare they inflict their trauma on innocent kids? It is infuriating. As far as I am concerned, go for it kid and post all you want. Let it all hang out because your parents suck.

I wish I had had a way to expose the dysfunction and trauma in my house that had felt safe. One thing gen z is just not going for is being treated like crap and expected to just grin and bear it. Power to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell her parents?
Did you reach out to your niece?
It seems she needs a reasonable, emotionally mature adult she can rely on?
She needs to be in therapy to help navigate this family transition.

She is getting a ton of therapy. This was about her therapy.

So they should have her take it down and let the therapist know what happened. Therapy is a great place to learn boundaries.

Perhaps but it would seem pretty self-serving by the parents.

Are you 12?
People, Most especially KIDS, should not be airing their private business in the Internet.
And what the kids knows may not be totally accurate.
Grow up.
Plus a kid needs therapy to deal with this mess, not crowd source advice from randos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like Claudia Conway.

That was my first thought.

Me too. I was going to ask OP is s/he is a sibling to George or to Kelly.

[Anonymous]

That is really sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A teen in our family overheard about another family member's affair, and proceeded to tell half the family (including child whose parent was cheating) about it. This was before TikTok. Teen's excuse was that she was processing it. Some kids have major boundary issues and cannot understand the impact of their actions.

Methinks the one having the affair has the boundary issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess this is how kids do these days? Her parents are about to finalize their divorce after years of drama and niece is posting about it on tikok in a passive aggressive way. I am talking multiple affairs on both of their parts, their fights, etc. Some I knew about some I didn't. She ends up taking them down then she ends up posting more. It is crazy that 1) she knows this stuff and 2) that it happened and 3) she is posting about it. However in my tiktok browsing I have noticed this seems to be a theme. The kids are just letting it all out and I wonder how much their families know.

Of course she knows this stuff. She lived in the same house. Teens know more than you think