My 15yo niece is airing all of her parents dirty laundry on tiktok

[Anonymous]

I guess this is how kids do these days? Her parents are about to finalize their divorce after years of drama and niece is posting about it on tikok in a passive aggressive way. I am talking multiple affairs on both of their parts, their fights, etc. Some I knew about some I didn't. She ends up taking them down then she ends up posting more. It is crazy that 1) she knows this stuff and 2) that it happened and 3) she is posting about it. However in my tiktok browsing I have noticed this seems to be a theme. The kids are just letting it all out and I wonder how much their families know.

[Anonymous]

A consequence of throwing intense marital trauma into your children's lives is that they will process it the way they need to process it.

When you make your problems your kids problems you lose control of the narrative.

[Anonymous]

People are idiots to think their kids don’t know what is going on.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like Claudia Conway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A consequence of throwing intense marital trauma into your children's lives is that they will process it the way they need to process it.

When you make your problems your kids problems you lose control of the narrative.

This. Poor kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A consequence of throwing intense marital trauma into your children's lives is that they will process it the way they need to process it.

When you make your problems your kids problems you lose control of the narrative.

Maybe. But the way TikTok seems to work amongst the kids is that when they see someone getting a lot of attention for airing dirty laundry or for having some sort of affliction, they suddenly all start manufacturing their own dirty laundry and claiming various afflictions. Beware and check in on what your kids are posting (and seeing) every now and then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A consequence of throwing intense marital trauma into your children's lives is that they will process it the way they need to process it.

When you make your problems your kids problems you lose control of the narrative.

This. Poor kid.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

Did you tell her parents?
Did you reach out to your niece?
It seems she needs a reasonable, emotionally mature adult she can rely on?
She needs to be in therapy to help navigate this family transition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell her parents?
Did you reach out to your niece?
It seems she needs a reasonable, emotionally mature adult she can rely on?
She needs to be in therapy to help navigate this family transition.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A consequence of throwing intense marital trauma into your children's lives is that they will process it the way they need to process it.

When you make your problems your kids problems you lose control of the narrative.

Maybe. But the way TikTok seems to work amongst the kids is that when they see someone getting a lot of attention for airing dirty laundry or for having some sort of affliction, they suddenly all start manufacturing their own dirty laundry and claiming various afflictions. Beware and check in on what your kids are posting (and seeing) every now and then.

This is true. I have to remind my own teen that they should view tik tok for what it is - entertainment and to assume it's an exaggeration and possibly an outright lie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like Claudia Conway.

I thought the same thing.

I would see if as a cry for help and she needs therapy to process her parent's dysfunction and terrible boundaries.

Parents need to give their kids tiktok rules. If you want to do silly dances-fine. Air dirty laundry, film others without permission or mock anyone and it's gone and you get one of those phones that only has texting. If it shows up again using other friends' phones, no more phone and back to the dark ages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A consequence of throwing intense marital trauma into your children's lives is that they will process it the way they need to process it.

When you make your problems your kids problems you lose control of the narrative.

Maybe. But the way TikTok seems to work amongst the kids is that when they see someone getting a lot of attention for airing dirty laundry or for having some sort of affliction, they suddenly all start manufacturing their own dirty laundry and claiming various afflictions. Beware and check in on what your kids are posting (and seeing) every now and then.

Tiktok does so this but kids do it in real life too. Once I overheard my daughter (I wasn’t eavesdropping, I was walking by her room and her door was open) suggest to her school counselor that her parents weren’t accepting of her sexuality (she is bi). But when DD came out to us, our reaction was “that’s great, we are proud of you, we are glad you feel safe enough to tell us!” so I disagree with her take and I think she just wanted the attention. She’s never getting Tiktok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell her parents?
Did you reach out to your niece?
It seems she needs a reasonable, emotionally mature adult she can rely on?
She needs to be in therapy to help navigate this family transition.

She is getting a ton of therapy. This was about her therapy.

[Anonymous]

A teen in our family overheard about another family member's affair, and proceeded to tell half the family (including child whose parent was cheating) about it. This was before TikTok. Teen's excuse was that she was processing it. Some kids have major boundary issues and cannot understand the impact of their actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you tell her parents?
Did you reach out to your niece?
It seems she needs a reasonable, emotionally mature adult she can rely on?
She needs to be in therapy to help navigate this family transition.

She is getting a ton of therapy. This was about her therapy.

So they should have her take it down and let the therapist know what happened. Therapy is a great place to learn boundaries.