How Long To Let Baby Cry?

[Anonymous]

Mine was the same, held for every nap, impossible to transfer asleep to crib after a night waking once 4 month regression set in and nursing didn’t just immediately put him back to deep sleep anymore. We were zombies for that period and then did it at 5 months and used Ferber. Looking back, I think the check ins made it worse actually and with second kid, if we need to sleep train, I will probably do longer intervals from the get go (like 15 minutes instead of building up to it). I dunno depends on next kid’s temperament.

Anyway, we dropped night feeds and added a dream feed around 10. You don’t have to drop night feeds though, up to you. Then we dropped the dream feed around 6 months. Ours has had no sleep regressions since doing this, and sleeps through the night through illness too. I have zero regrets, our whole family is so much happier with good rest. And I was so torn on whether doing it was cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your baby? How is his weight? Does he eat enough where he doesn’t require nighttime feedings? Can you walk us through what the issues are? How does he sleep now?

I would recommend to wait until 6 months.

OP here.

- He just turned 4 months old and was 16lbs 12oz at his appointment last week.
- He eats a mix of pumped milk and formula. He eats 28-32oz/day. He eats all of his calories during the day day split between 7-8 feedings. He will sometimes eat at night.
- The issues are he will not sleep unless held. He won’t sleep more than 3 hours at a time at night. He often wakes up and won’t even eat. He just wants to be rocked back to sleep and be held. If he does eat, it’s never more than 1-2 ounces.

It definitely sounds like your little one is ready for sleep training! When we hit the 4 months regression with our second, it was AWFUL. Talked to the pediatrician who said to go for it with Ferber. You do timed check-ins, without picking them up: https://huckleberrycare.com/blog/ferber-method-for...eep-training-what-age-to-start

BEST THING WE EVER DID. The first 2-3 nights were rough. First night was 1.5 hours until he fell asleep (also, I realized he wasn't actually crying, it was more like annoyed squawking because he wanted to be picked up), then one middle of the night wake up that took an hour for him to fall back asleep. Second night was only 1 hour before he fell asleep on his own, and a 45 minute middle of the night wake. Third night was 30 minutes before he fell asleep and then no middle of the night wake up. He's 14 months now. We put him down at 7, and don't hear a peep until 7 the next morning. It is f^cking glorious.

If you're going to do it though, you need to make sure all of his other needs are met. Establish a solid bedtime routine, and separate any evening bottle/nursing from right before you put baby down. Bottle, bath, PJs, story, bed (for example). Also make sure you're prepared to stick with it. So many people who say it didn't work for them are giving in and picking the baby up after 30 minutes. Ferber is graduated extinction. You are extinguishing the behavior. If you reward the behavior (picking up), you've just taught baby that if they fuss for long enough, they will get picked up. So of course they continue crying.

By the way, you don’t really need to read the whole Ferber book to do the method. I ordered it, and it’s like 400 pages. No one has time for that when they’re dealing with sleep deprivation!

Good luck! Ignore naysayers - you are giving your child (and yourself!) the gift of sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your baby? How is his weight? Does he eat enough where he doesn’t require nighttime feedings? Can you walk us through what the issues are? How does he sleep now?

I would recommend to wait until 6 months.

OP here.

- He just turned 4 months old and was 16lbs 12oz at his appointment last week.
- He eats a mix of pumped milk and formula. He eats 28-32oz/day. He eats all of his calories during the day day split between 7-8 feedings. He will sometimes eat at night.
- The issues are he will not sleep unless held. He won’t sleep more than 3 hours at a time at night. He often wakes up and won’t even eat. He just wants to be rocked back to sleep and be held. If he does eat, it’s never more than 1-2 ounces.

It definitely sounds like your little one is ready for sleep training! When we hit the 4 months regression with our second, it was AWFUL. Talked to the pediatrician who said to go for it with Ferber. You do timed check-ins, without picking them up: https://huckleberrycare.com/blog/ferber-method-for...eep-training-what-age-to-start

BEST THING WE EVER DID. The first 2-3 nights were rough. First night was 1.5 hours until he fell asleep (also, I realized he wasn't actually crying, it was more like annoyed squawking because he wanted to be picked up), then one middle of the night wake up that took an hour for him to fall back asleep. Second night was only 1 hour before he fell asleep on his own, and a 45 minute middle of the night wake. Third night was 30 minutes before he fell asleep and then no middle of the night wake up. He's 14 months now. We put him down at 7, and don't hear a peep until 7 the next morning. It is f^cking glorious.

If you're going to do it though, you need to make sure all of his other needs are met. Establish a solid bedtime routine, and separate any evening bottle/nursing from right before you put baby down. Bottle, bath, PJs, story, bed (for example). Also make sure you're prepared to stick with it. So many people who say it didn't work for them are giving in and picking the baby up after 30 minutes. Ferber is graduated extinction. You are extinguishing the behavior. If you reward the behavior (picking up), you've just taught baby that if they fuss for long enough, they will get picked up. So of course they continue crying.

By the way, you don’t really need to read the whole Ferber book to do the method. I ordered it, and it’s like 400 pages. No one has time for that when they’re dealing with sleep deprivation!

Good luck! Ignore naysayers - you are giving your child (and yourself!) the gift of sleep.

Sorry, gave you a dead link! Here’s the page I meant to link to: https://huckleberrycare.com/blog/ferber-method-for-sleep-training-what-age-to-start