How Long To Let Baby Cry?

[Anonymous]

My pediatrician recommended we let our 4 month old cry in order to teach him to self-soothe. He doesn’t know how to do any of that and requires being held for all naps. I have tried many non cry methods and nothing has worked. He is a terrible night sleeper and still wakes every 3 hours, sometimes but to be held and not eat. We’re exhausted and ready to sleep train. How long is it acceptable to leave him to cry? Any methods that work?

[Anonymous]

We let ours cry for 10-15 minutes, did a check-in, and then let cry for another 10-15 minutes. The 3 and 5 minute thing down methods say just made him more angry.

[Anonymous]

I sleep trained at 4.5 months. It took 2 nights and then she slept for 8 hours. The worst time was from
9-11pm so that’s why we did it. We would put to bed at 8 then she would wake up
An hour later and be a tired cranky mess for 2 hours. It was awful. So the first night we put to bed at 8 as usual but when she woke at 9 we let her cry, tried checks at 10 min intervals twice but it made her worse so we stopped going in. She cried for an hour. We felt like the worse parents. Not gonna lie, it was hard. But after an hour she dozed off and slept til 4. 2nd night she cried for 45 mins. 3rd night 5 mins. So on night 3 slept from 8pm-4am. We have a bottle at 4am and she went back to sleep until 7. At 5 months she dropped that 4am feed herself and went for 11 hours every night. It was life changing, we were better rested so better parents during the day. She was happier getting more sleep.

[Anonymous]

How old is your baby? How is his weight? Does he eat enough where he doesn’t require nighttime feedings? Can you walk us through what the issues are? How does he sleep now?

I would recommend to wait until 6 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your baby? How is his weight? Does he eat enough where he doesn’t require nighttime feedings? Can you walk us through what the issues are? How does he sleep now?

I would recommend to wait until 6 months.

he’s 4 mos. It’s right there on the first line. Sheesh

[Anonymous]

Here is the thing OP there are so many opinions on this. You need to do what works for you. If you are exhausted then what you are doing now is not working. You will feel bad letting him cry, but in the long run you will all be happier. You need to imagine what life will be like 2-3 days from now when you are rested.

[Anonymous]

Make a plan. Read a book like Ferber. The reason that sleep training often “fails”’is because parents don’t take the time to really understand what they’re going to do and then commit to following through.

This isn’t something where you’re going to get some tips on the internet and then put it motion tonight. Get some suggestions here about resources/methods and then really read them.

Pick a time to start when both you and spouse can commit to 5 nights of training. No business trips or visitors. Both need to understand what it will look like, ie it will likely get worse on the 3rd or 4th night.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your baby? How is his weight? Does he eat enough where he doesn’t require nighttime feedings? Can you walk us through what the issues are? How does he sleep now?

I would recommend to wait until 6 months.

OP here.

- He just turned 4 months old and was 16lbs 12oz at his appointment last week.
- He eats a mix of pumped milk and formula. He eats 28-32oz/day. He eats all of his calories during the day day split between 7-8 feedings. He will sometimes eat at night.
- The issues are he will not sleep unless held. He won’t sleep more than 3 hours at a time at night. He often wakes up and won’t even eat. He just wants to be rocked back to sleep and be held. If he does eat, it’s never more than 1-2 ounces.

[Anonymous]

OP, just go read a sleep training book. Ferber, Weissbluth, Canapari, Sleep Easy Solution, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anecdotal maybe, but I tried EVERYTHING with my first and she didn't sttn till 2. We used "sleep easy sleep solution" at DCUM's recommendation for kid #2 and they were sleep trained in a few weeks and have been a champ sleeper ever since.

Personally I think sleep is just innate and there's not much you can do to train till they're ready. I hope it works, good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sleep trained at 4.5 months. It took 2 nights and then she slept for 8 hours. The worst time was from
9-11pm so that’s why we did it. We would put to bed at 8 then she would wake up
An hour later and be a tired cranky mess for 2 hours. It was awful. So the first night we put to bed at 8 as usual but when she woke at 9 we let her cry, tried checks at 10 min intervals twice but it made her worse so we stopped going in. She cried for an hour. We felt like the worse parents. Not gonna lie, it was hard. But after an hour she dozed off and slept til 4. 2nd night she cried for 45 mins. 3rd night 5 mins. So on night 3 slept from 8pm-4am. We have a bottle at 4am and she went back to sleep until 7. At 5 months she dropped that 4am feed herself and went for 11 hours every night. It was life changing, we were better rested so better parents during the day. She was happier getting more sleep.

Similar experience. Mine would sleep for an hour, then wake up and be fussy for another 1-2 hours while being held/rocked/walked in circles until back to sleep. Repeat all night. I was going nuts from sleep deprivation.

Sleep trained at 4 months. But I didn’t do intervals. I didn’t go back in at all. My soft rule was after midnight if they woke to eat I’d go in. But it was eat then back to bed, no more walking around trying to soothe back to sleep. Turns out after the first 2 nights, baby’s new routine was sleep at 7pm, would wake at 4am to nurse, then would wake for day around 6:30 am

[Anonymous]

Sleep Easy Solution is my bible. Train away. You will all be happier for it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sleep trained at 4.5 months. It took 2 nights and then she slept for 8 hours. The worst time was from
9-11pm so that’s why we did it. We would put to bed at 8 then she would wake up
An hour later and be a tired cranky mess for 2 hours. It was awful. So the first night we put to bed at 8 as usual but when she woke at 9 we let her cry, tried checks at 10 min intervals twice but it made her worse so we stopped going in. She cried for an hour. We felt like the worse parents. Not gonna lie, it was hard. But after an hour she dozed off and slept til 4. 2nd night she cried for 45 mins. 3rd night 5 mins. So on night 3 slept from 8pm-4am. We have a bottle at 4am and she went back to sleep until 7. At 5 months she dropped that 4am feed herself and went for 11 hours every night. It was life changing, we were better rested so better parents during the day. She was happier getting more sleep.

+1 I did this with all 5 of my kids. I say this all the time, but it really sets the stage for all the structure and discipline children need to become happy, well behaved children and responsible adults. Sounds dramatic but even babies need that structure in their lives.

My first one was the most like this. Once you know to put them down and they will learn to sleep 8-10 hours you start to do it with the next few babies naturally.

It literally is life changing. Even if they don't sleep all night at first, just to get them trained to go to bed at 7 or 8 and sleep until later in the morning it's worth it.

I hung up on my Mom when she told me to do this with my first. (We lived 10 hours from her). Thank God my husband saw the light and said I think your Mother is right.

[Anonymous]

OP we started sleep training at 4 months and our child really does sleep better. It took about a week or two.

[Anonymous]

Pick up the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution". Worked well for us. It's a happy medium between cry it out and never letting them cry.