Ex-husbands who cheated during the marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more compatible with my former Ex-wife of 20 years than current wife.

We had the same sense of humor and interests and still will laugh like crazy. She is also very intelligent and I enjoy conversations.

No what you're doing is affecting your current wife's attitude toward you. If my spouse was still doing that stuff with his ex I would grow to hate him. Yes he wouldn't like my personality at that point. What you are doing is self defeating behavior. Instead of putting 100% into your marriage you messed it up. You should have cut your ex out of your life after the divorce.
Also, you aren't married to her and if you were you'd once again have the same problems. Grow up Mr.

Oh the sweet irony. This is exactly what happens to the marriage during an affair. The person having the affair becomes a complete jerk and no longer gives anything to the marital relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remarried and sometimes still sleep with my ex-wife.

If I had my way, I would still be married to her. She is the love of my life.

Since she wouldn’t take me back, I settled.

Did you marry the OW?

[Anonymous]

My ex was a compulsive cheater. Very acrimonious breakup. Two kids. We are good friends again. As long as I don't care who he's doing, he's not my problem and we get along fine.

He still carries on with other men's wives, it's rather gross. But we get along great(mostly) as long as sex is not involved.

I do think he regrets the divorce now but he'll never stop philandering so....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex was a compulsive cheater. Very acrimonious breakup. Two kids. We are good friends again. As long as I don't care who he's doing, he's not my problem and we get along fine.

He still carries on with other men's wives, it's rather gross. But we get along great(mostly) as long as sex is not involved.

I do think he regrets the divorce now but he'll never stop philandering so....

Why do you think he does it? Does it not seem to bother him, or does he seem to be unable to stop himself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex was a compulsive cheater. Very acrimonious breakup. Two kids. We are good friends again. As long as I don't care who he's doing, he's not my problem and we get along fine.

He still carries on with other men's wives, it's rather gross. But we get along great(mostly) as long as sex is not involved.

I do think he regrets the divorce now but he'll never stop philandering so....

Why do you think he does it? Does it not seem to bother him, or does he seem to be unable to stop himself?

DP. He screws other men's wives for the same reason women screw other men's husbands: extremely low self-esteem. Also, likely stemming from childhood trauma (any combo of: abandonment/cheating/alcoholism/abuse/divorce in family of origin)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex was a compulsive cheater. Very acrimonious breakup. Two kids. We are good friends again. As long as I don't care who he's doing, he's not my problem and we get along fine.

He still carries on with other men's wives, it's rather gross. But we get along great(mostly) as long as sex is not involved.

I do think he regrets the divorce now but he'll never stop philandering so....

Why do you think he does it? Does it not seem to bother him, or does he seem to be unable to stop himself?

DP. He screws other men's wives for the same reason women screw other men's husbands: extremely low self-esteem. Also, likely stemming from childhood trauma (any combo of: abandonment/cheating/alcoholism/abuse/divorce in family of origin)

It's this mentality that they have to be oh so extra special to get somebody else's spouse to stray from the marriage. It is incredibly f***ked up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex was a compulsive cheater. Very acrimonious breakup. Two kids. We are good friends again. As long as I don't care who he's doing, he's not my problem and we get along fine.

He still carries on with other men's wives, it's rather gross. But we get along great(mostly) as long as sex is not involved.

I do think he regrets the divorce now but he'll never stop philandering so....

Why do you think he does it? Does it not seem to bother him, or does he seem to be unable to stop himself?

DP. He screws other men's wives for the same reason women screw other men's husbands: extremely low self-esteem. Also, likely stemming from childhood trauma (any combo of: abandonment/cheating/alcoholism/abuse/divorce in family of origin)

This. They learned to equate drama and disharmony and back-and-forth fighting with feeling wanted/love. So--if they are in a stable, loving marriage--they are bored and looking for that drama. It also taught them compartmentalization since parents and kids were taught to mask what home life was like to everyone in the outside world. Teachers and kids at school would have no idea what was going on in the home with the kid who learned to be 'perfect' to try to win parents' attention and not induce additional stress in the home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex was a compulsive cheater. Very acrimonious breakup. Two kids. We are good friends again. As long as I don't care who he's doing, he's not my problem and we get along fine.

He still carries on with other men's wives, it's rather gross. But we get along great(mostly) as long as sex is not involved.

I do think he regrets the divorce now but he'll never stop philandering so....

Why do you think he does it? Does it not seem to bother him, or does he seem to be unable to stop himself?

DP. He screws other men's wives for the same reason women screw other men's husbands: extremely low self-esteem. Also, likely stemming from childhood trauma (any combo of: abandonment/cheating/alcoholism/abuse/divorce in family of origin)

This. They learned to equate drama and disharmony and back-and-forth fighting with feeling wanted/love. So--if they are in a stable, loving marriage--they are bored and looking for that drama. It also taught them compartmentalization since parents and kids were taught to mask what home life was like to everyone in the outside world. Teachers and kids at school would have no idea what was going on in the home with the kid who learned to be 'perfect' to try to win parents' attention and not induce additional stress in the home.

This is my ex-H with childhood trauma. Plus they are addicted to Cortisol so fighting/drama feels good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more compatible with my former Ex-wife of 20 years than current wife.

We had the same sense of humor and interests and still will laugh like crazy. She is also very intelligent and I enjoy conversations.

No what you're doing is affecting your current wife's attitude toward you. If my spouse was still doing that stuff with his ex I would grow to hate him. Yes he wouldn't like my personality at that point. What you are doing is self defeating behavior. Instead of putting 100% into your marriage you messed it up. You should have cut your ex out of your life after the divorce.
Also, you aren't married to her and if you were you'd once again have the same problems. Grow up Mr.

Well- she is the woman I had the affair with so if I had taken that advice I wouldn’t have left my first wife. Unfortunately I was an idiot and regret it deeply. People are right when they say that it’s limerence that makes you do stupid things and it cools off quickly once real life sets in.

Got it but that ship has sailed. Move on and put everything into your current marriage. You did agree to marry her, so time to cut off the one who is now your ex. Your ex is probably laughing and playing you both knowing what it's done to you, and your current relationship. My BIL cheated on his wife of 25 years, she divorced him. He didn't want to be alone and moved in with the OW. Now it's been many years and he's still miserable. He does the same thing you do, and his gf of course has anger he still talks and sees his wife. Everyone has told him to move on, and yes the ex and the kids play him because they still have anger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more compatible with my former Ex-wife of 20 years than current wife.

We had the same sense of humor and interests and still will laugh like crazy. She is also very intelligent and I enjoy conversations.

No what you're doing is affecting your current wife's attitude toward you. If my spouse was still doing that stuff with his ex I would grow to hate him. Yes he wouldn't like my personality at that point. What you are doing is self defeating behavior. Instead of putting 100% into your marriage you messed it up. You should have cut your ex out of your life after the divorce.
Also, you aren't married to her and if you were you'd once again have the same problems. Grow up Mr.

Oh the sweet irony. This is exactly what happens to the marriage during an affair. The person having the affair becomes a complete jerk and no longer gives anything to the marital relationship.

He's one of those people that idealizes the one he's NOT with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more compatible with my former Ex-wife of 20 years than current wife.

We had the same sense of humor and interests and still will laugh like crazy. She is also very intelligent and I enjoy conversations.

No what you're doing is affecting your current wife's attitude toward you. If my spouse was still doing that stuff with his ex I would grow to hate him. Yes he wouldn't like my personality at that point. What you are doing is self defeating behavior. Instead of putting 100% into your marriage you messed it up. You should have cut your ex out of your life after the divorce.
Also, you aren't married to her and if you were you'd once again have the same problems. Grow up Mr.

Well- she is the woman I had the affair with so if I had taken that advice I wouldn’t have left my first wife. Unfortunately I was an idiot and regret it deeply. People are right when they say that it’s limerence that makes you do stupid things and it cools off quickly once real life sets in.

Got it but that ship has sailed. Move on and put everything into your current marriage. You did agree to marry her, so time to cut off the one who is now your ex. Your ex is probably laughing and playing you both knowing what it's done to you, and your current relationship. My BIL cheated on his wife of 25 years, she divorced him. He didn't want to be alone and moved in with the OW. Now it's been many years and he's still miserable. He does the same thing you do, and his gf of course has anger he still talks and sees his wife. Everyone has told him to move on, and yes the ex and the kids play him because they still have anger.

Waaaaaahhhhh, crying here . Maybe the gf will realize a cheater doesn’t make a great life partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more compatible with my former Ex-wife of 20 years than current wife.

We had the same sense of humor and interests and still will laugh like crazy. She is also very intelligent and I enjoy conversations.

No what you're doing is affecting your current wife's attitude toward you. If my spouse was still doing that stuff with his ex I would grow to hate him. Yes he wouldn't like my personality at that point. What you are doing is self defeating behavior. Instead of putting 100% into your marriage you messed it up. You should have cut your ex out of your life after the divorce.
Also, you aren't married to her and if you were you'd once again have the same problems. Grow up Mr.

Well- she is the woman I had the affair with so if I had taken that advice I wouldn’t have left my first wife. Unfortunately I was an idiot and regret it deeply. People are right when they say that it’s limerence that makes you do stupid things and it cools off quickly once real life sets in.

Got it but that ship has sailed. Move on and put everything into your current marriage. You did agree to marry her, so time to cut off the one who is now your ex. Your ex is probably laughing and playing you both knowing what it's done to you, and your current relationship. My BIL cheated on his wife of 25 years, she divorced him. He didn't want to be alone and moved in with the OW. Now it's been many years and he's still miserable. He does the same thing you do, and his gf of course has anger he still talks and sees his wife. Everyone has told him to move on, and yes the ex and the kids play him because they still have anger.

Waaaaaahhhhh, crying here . Maybe the gf will realize a cheater doesn’t make a great life partner.

People want sympathy for an OW/AP that the guy she cheated with is now doing it to her? Ha. That’s rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more compatible with my former Ex-wife of 20 years than current wife.

We had the same sense of humor and interests and still will laugh like crazy. She is also very intelligent and I enjoy conversations.

No what you're doing is affecting your current wife's attitude toward you. If my spouse was still doing that stuff with his ex I would grow to hate him. Yes he wouldn't like my personality at that point. What you are doing is self defeating behavior. Instead of putting 100% into your marriage you messed it up. You should have cut your ex out of your life after the divorce.
Also, you aren't married to her and if you were you'd once again have the same problems. Grow up Mr.

Well- she is the woman I had the affair with so if I had taken that advice I wouldn’t have left my first wife. Unfortunately I was an idiot and regret it deeply. People are right when they say that it’s limerence that makes you do stupid things and it cools off quickly once real life sets in.

Got it but that ship has sailed. Move on and put everything into your current marriage. You did agree to marry her, so time to cut off the one who is now your ex. Your ex is probably laughing and playing you both knowing what it's done to you, and your current relationship. My BIL cheated on his wife of 25 years, she divorced him. He didn't want to be alone and moved in with the OW. Now it's been many years and he's still miserable. He does the same thing you do, and his gf of course has anger he still talks and sees his wife. Everyone has told him to move on, and yes the ex and the kids play him because they still have anger.

Waaaaaahhhhh, crying here . Maybe the gf will realize a cheater doesn’t make a great life partner.

Yep I agree. The current gf has rheaped what she sowed along with her bf!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more compatible with my former Ex-wife of 20 years than current wife.

We had the same sense of humor and interests and still will laugh like crazy. She is also very intelligent and I enjoy conversations.

No what you're doing is affecting your current wife's attitude toward you. If my spouse was still doing that stuff with his ex I would grow to hate him. Yes he wouldn't like my personality at that point. What you are doing is self defeating behavior. Instead of putting 100% into your marriage you messed it up. You should have cut your ex out of your life after the divorce.
Also, you aren't married to her and if you were you'd once again have the same problems. Grow up Mr.

Well- she is the woman I had the affair with so if I had taken that advice I wouldn’t have left my first wife. Unfortunately I was an idiot and regret it deeply. People are right when they say that it’s limerence that makes you do stupid things and it cools off quickly once real life sets in.

Got it but that ship has sailed. Move on and put everything into your current marriage. You did agree to marry her, so time to cut off the one who is now your ex. Your ex is probably laughing and playing you both knowing what it's done to you, and your current relationship. My BIL cheated on his wife of 25 years, she divorced him. He didn't want to be alone and moved in with the OW. Now it's been many years and he's still miserable. He does the same thing you do, and his gf of course has anger he still talks and sees his wife. Everyone has told him to move on, and yes the ex and the kids play him because they still have anger.

Waaaaaahhhhh, crying here . Maybe the gf will realize a cheater doesn’t make a great life partner.

People want sympathy for an OW/AP that the guy she cheated with is now doing it to her? Ha. That’s rich.

No sympathy for OW, merely it's time to move forward and stop crying in the milk...lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more compatible with my former Ex-wife of 20 years than current wife.

We had the same sense of humor and interests and still will laugh like crazy. She is also very intelligent and I enjoy conversations.

No what you're doing is affecting your current wife's attitude toward you. If my spouse was still doing that stuff with his ex I would grow to hate him. Yes he wouldn't like my personality at that point. What you are doing is self defeating behavior. Instead of putting 100% into your marriage you messed it up. You should have cut your ex out of your life after the divorce.
Also, you aren't married to her and if you were you'd once again have the same problems. Grow up Mr.

Well- she is the woman I had the affair with so if I had taken that advice I wouldn’t have left my first wife. Unfortunately I was an idiot and regret it deeply. People are right when they say that it’s limerence that makes you do stupid things and it cools off quickly once real life sets in.

Got it but that ship has sailed. Move on and put everything into your current marriage. You did agree to marry her, so time to cut off the one who is now your ex. Your ex is probably laughing and playing you both knowing what it's done to you, and your current relationship. My BIL cheated on his wife of 25 years, she divorced him. He didn't want to be alone and moved in with the OW. Now it's been many years and he's still miserable. He does the same thing you do, and his gf of course has anger he still talks and sees his wife. Everyone has told him to move on, and yes the ex and the kids play him because they still have anger.

Waaaaaahhhhh, crying here . Maybe the gf will realize a cheater doesn’t make a great life partner.

People want sympathy for an OW/AP that the guy she cheated with is now doing it to her? Ha. That’s rich.

No sympathy for OW, merely it's time to move forward and stop crying in the milk...lol.

Isn’t that the point that the cheaters aren’t thinking about the best/ rational outcome and so not sure why you are asking for something of their relationship with AP that they should have done in their marriage as well? It’s a repeating pattern and so why are you surprised?