Overestimating your attractiveness

[Anonymous]

This is sad because obviously if you think you're beautiful that's all that matters. If he doesn't, then he's not for you. Also, his lack of attraction could be due to other things outside of your beauty. There's are tons of beautiful people who have awful personalities, or are boring, or dumb, or they're nuts. Pretty and looney don't make for a good companion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m married, not obese and have 2 kids. I’ve got a professional degree and I haven’t let myself go entirely (pandemic notwithstanding). People still comment I look younger than I am. The point is, I like this guy who has substance and is hot! This is the reason I am scared of my thoughts and feelings.

Maybe it has something to do with the bolded part?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m married, not obese and have 2 kids. I’ve got a professional degree and I haven’t let myself go entirely (pandemic notwithstanding). People still comment I look younger than I am. The point is, I like this guy who has substance and is hot! This is the reason I am scared of my thoughts and feelings.

This is a really dumb game you are playing. See a therapist about your need for validation

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m married, not obese and have 2 kids. I’ve got a professional degree and I haven’t let myself go entirely (pandemic notwithstanding). People still comment I look younger than I am. The point is, I like this guy who has substance and is hot! This is the reason I am scared of my thoughts and feelings.

People always tell women they look young for their age. Take it with a grain of salt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m married, not obese and have 2 kids. I’ve got a professional degree and I haven’t let myself go entirely (pandemic notwithstanding). People still comment I look younger than I am. The point is, I like this guy who has substance and is hot! This is the reason I am scared of my thoughts and feelings.

This is a really dumb game you are playing. See a therapist about your need for validation

+1000

+1

This guy is basically an object to you. You should date men because you like them, not because you want to make them like you.

[Anonymous]

Men have to deal with the social pressure of always being the romantic instigator and the potential rejection that comes with that.

On top of that you want your younger colleague to make a move on you, a married woman? Why would he do that?

[Anonymous]

Oh OP. This is just - messed up on various levels. Leave the guy alone - trying to elicit a reaction from a colleague in this manner is inappropriate and it sounds like it’s more about your need for validation. Find it elsewhere - look inward and focus on your own DH.

[Anonymous]

Many people who are attractive in their youth do not grow up to be lookers as they get older.

After high school, I couldn’t believe how some of the pretty + popular people didn’t age well.
Not everyone of course, but enough to convince me that some people can be in their prime in adolescence.

Of course now at fifty-two I am used to seeing my old classmates looking bald, chubby, gray…..etc.

Looks truly are fleeting.
And as the great beauty Ms. Monroe sang, “and we ALL lose our charm in the end.”

[Anonymous]

Troll and not a good one either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many people who are attractive in their youth do not grow up to be lookers as they get older.

After high school, I couldn’t believe how some of the pretty + popular people didn’t age well.
Not everyone of course, but enough to convince me that some people can be in their prime in adolescence.

Of course now at fifty-two I am used to seeing my old classmates looking bald, chubby, gray…..etc.

Looks truly are fleeting.
And as the great beauty Ms. Monroe sang, “and we ALL lose our charm in the end.”

Totally. Now in my 40s -- The pretty and popular people did not age well! The nerdier people actually look the best now.

OP, everyone is trashing you but I think there is something interesting here. When you get a lot of validation for your looks when you are young, you start to assume that that will be true always.

Aging is very very hard for people in this state of mind. You will lose your looks and cease to be the most attractive person in the room -- that's an inevitability and you should start to accept it.

[Anonymous]

The good thing is that your husband probably looks at you and still sees your young self. That's one of the lovely things about marriage. A new guy will just take you at the present moment.