Overestimating your attractiveness

[Anonymous]

I’m beautiful, but even more so when I was 10 years younger. I wonder if my assessment as to how attractive men find me now vs my younger years, is accurate. Anyway, I am attracted to a particular man of another race but I have no idea if he feels the same. I don’t know if this is due to him not dating or being attracted to or pursuing women outside his race, or what. There may be a 3-5 year age gap, me likely being older, but hard to tell. Also, I just want him to find me attractive (and for me to know that), not something I could pursue. Due to current situation, we only talk over phone or video so what are certain things I can say or do to find out if he finds me attractive without crossing any lines? I’m not trying to be a tease either!

[Anonymous]

What is your end goal? Let's say he does find you attractive. Then what?

[Anonymous]

What?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m beautiful, but even more so when I was 10 years younger. I wonder if my assessment as to how attractive men find me now vs my younger years, is accurate. Anyway, I am attracted to a particular man of another race but I have no idea if he feels the same. I don’t know if this is due to him not dating or being attracted to or pursuing women outside his race, or what. There may be a 3-5 year age gap, me likely being older, but hard to tell. Also, I just want him to find me attractive (and for me to know that), not something I could pursue. Due to current situation, we only talk over phone or video so what are certain things I can say or do to find out if he finds me attractive without crossing any lines? I’m not trying to be a tease either!

So you’re not interested in him, you just want the ego boost of knowing you’re the One White Older Woman he’s attracted to?

Leave the poor guy alone, he doesn’t need that kind of drama.

[Anonymous]

People who have always relied on looks instead of developing character as a basis for attractiveness are sometimes crippled in the latter and unfortunately this post is evidence of that. OP, it’s not looks and features that are attractive or sexy. People are sexy. It has little to do with looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is your end goal? Let's say he does find you attractive. Then what?

Right now? Nothing. But I’ve never entertained these thoughts before and it’s kind of scaring me.

[Anonymous]

Troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Troll.

If you think someone is a troll then report the post to Jeff. Posting that you think someone's a troll is a waste. Be productive.

[Anonymous]

Women often miss the mark by a wide margin here.

A friend was super popular in HS and college, and active in her sorority in the Midwest. She attributed mens attraction primarily to her large chest and blond hair.

Fast forward to her late 20s: she had gotten out of shape (due in part to an extremely demanding professional degree), and her overall body-shape had naturaly changed with time, but she just assumed men would still be attracted to her chest.

It did not work out as she assumed. She is single and childless at 50.

[Anonymous]

I’m married, not obese and have 2 kids. I’ve got a professional degree and I haven’t let myself go entirely (pandemic notwithstanding). People still comment I look younger than I am. The point is, I like this guy who has substance and is hot! This is the reason I am scared of my thoughts and feelings.

[Anonymous]

If you’re available, have been flirtatious and he hasn’t bitten, either he’s involved with someone, or not attracted to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m married, not obese and have 2 kids. I’ve got a professional degree and I haven’t let myself go entirely (pandemic notwithstanding). People still comment I look younger than I am. The point is, I like this guy who has substance and is hot! This is the reason I am scared of my thoughts and feelings.

Then don't feed them by trying to get this guy to say he's attracted to you, unless you'd like to blow up your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women often miss the mark by a wide margin here.

A friend was super popular in HS and college, and active in her sorority in the Midwest. She attributed mens attraction primarily to her large chest and blond hair.

Fast forward to her late 20s: she had gotten out of shape (due in part to an extremely demanding professional degree), and her overall body-shape had naturaly changed with time, but she just assumed men would still be attracted to her chest.

It did not work out as she assumed. She is single and childless at 50.

I have a few friends who were super cute and not when they were in their teens and 20s. Some people just don’t age well. Their once cute faces look below average. I think it is especially hard on people who were so beautiful when they were younger. To be told you were so pretty your entire life to then be an average looking adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m married, not obese and have 2 kids. I’ve got a professional degree and I haven’t let myself go entirely (pandemic notwithstanding). People still comment I look younger than I am. The point is, I like this guy who has substance and is hot! This is the reason I am scared of my thoughts and feelings.

This is a really dumb game you are playing. See a therapist about your need for validation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m married, not obese and have 2 kids. I’ve got a professional degree and I haven’t let myself go entirely (pandemic notwithstanding). People still comment I look younger than I am. The point is, I like this guy who has substance and is hot! This is the reason I am scared of my thoughts and feelings.

Are you OP?

You describe yourself as not obese. I highly doubt he wants you.