Anyone Have Kids Soon After Dating/Getting Married?

[Anonymous]

OP, you never know how long it will take to get pregnant once you start to try. What if there are issues? Possibly need assistance with fertility? The longer you wait it might take up to 1-4 years to get pregnant. Speaking from experience, wish I had not waited until I was 35.

[Anonymous]

At age 33 if you really want kids I would recommend trying now. If you could take it or leave it with kids then the gamble involves less downside with waiting

[Anonymous]

Dated for 5 years, then got married and waited for another 5 years before we had our first kid when I was 32. We were ready to be parents and its been an amazing journey for the past 25 years. We loved every bit of being parents and our kids have always been so gosh darn cute, beautiful, easy going, happy and intelligent!!!

[Anonymous]

We had our first about two years after meeting each other. I was 26.

I think there are lots of good options for timing and you shouldn’t have a baby if you’re not sure you’re ready, but it worked fine for us.

[Anonymous]

TWICE I got knocked up within 6 months of dating - once when I was 29, once when I was 35. Married both. First marriage was a complete disaster, but second one is everything I ever wanted and we're still going strong.

The failure/success had little to do with the timing of kids and everything to do with our compatibility and commitment. I could have been with my first H 10 years before having kids and we still would have divorced. And I could have gotten pregnant from second H on our first date and we would have worked it out.

I will say the fertility thing freaked me out a little bit during my second pregnancy. Obviously I'm super fertile since I get pregnant when a guy looks at me, ha. But the second time at 35 I was labeled advanced maternal age, had to undergo additional screenings, and it all just sort of freaked me out and made me anxious. Everything turned out fine but I never would have thought I'd be anxious over that.

[Anonymous]

Met October 2007, kids arrived dec 2009 and jan 2012. We were older though.

I would not wait too long for all kinds of reasons. Why not start trying this summer? Even if you got pregnant right away oh pups have been together almost 5 years by the time baby arrives which is plenty. Unless that it you’re having any relationship doubts, in which case don’t get pregnant!

[Anonymous]

Pregnant one year after marriage. Second 1 year later. I wouldn’t wait. You’ve been married long enough not to call it “short”.

[Anonymous]

Yes, and I'd do the same thing again.

[Anonymous]

I got pregnant at 33, 3 months after getting married and at that point I had known DH for 3 years, so pretty similar to where you are now OP. I too wanted to wait a bit longer before trying, but more like 6 months and not 1 to 2 years. I was fortunate to not have trouble getting pregnant, but even then I'm glad we didn't wait. My 2 kids are 22 months apart and I'm glad to be 41 with the baby/toddler years behind us. My kids are 6 and 7 (almost 8) now.

[Anonymous]

I got married at 24 and pregnant on our honeymoon, but I guess that’s probably not what you’re talking about. If you’re 33, I really hate to say it but if you want kids, start now. Especially if you want more than one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have been together for 3 years and married for 1 year. We got engaged after 1 year, married at 2 years, and we have been married for a year. I’m 33 and we have talked about starting to try for kids, but I feel like it’s still so soon. We have only been together for 3 years. I know kids change the relationship, and I don’t want to feel like we can’t continue to grow our love together because we had kids too soon. I would prefer to wait another 1-2 years but I know that’s a gamble given my age. We really want two kids and how to have them close in age. Has anyone had kids so soon after dating/getting married? If so, how did it turn out? Did you wish you had waited or were you happy you had them when you did?

We had our first kid three years and 11 months after we first met. So, about where you’d be if you started trying now (assuming all went smoothly). I was 29 when we had our first kid, so I didn’t feel any particular time pressure, but it felt like a good time. (In hindsight, we were wildly naive about how expensive kids are! But it all worked out fine, and I’m now 43 and only six years from my last kid going to college!) Anyway, I think that if you feel secure in your relationship, this is a fine time to have a child. I had no idea what parenthood was really like but it turned out that both DH and I love it.

[Anonymous]

A couple of things to consider

- Are you in a stable relationship?
- Does your husband want to the or wait?
- Can you afford to have kids?

[Anonymous]

I was going to wait until we were married 2 years but in the end we started trying probably about 18 months. The way I looked at it, if we got pregnant on the first try, I wouldn’t actually have the baby until 9 months later and we would have been married 2 years by that point (together 6 years). I also figured it would take at least a year of trying before we would know if we had fertility issues and I wanted to start any IVF journey before age 35 if possible. I was fortunate that it only took a few months to get pregnant. I don’t regret starting when we did. We did take a babymoon before starting trying and I am really grateful we got that last romantic getaway in.

[Anonymous]

So, you are 33, married for a year, and we’re together for two years before that. This isn’t too soon. It sounds like you just don’t want kids. It’s fine. Not everyone is excited about parenthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep. Got pregnant in the first three months of dating. Still together with two kids after 15 years. But I would HIGHLY not recommend this timeline. We would never be together if it weren’t for having kids together.

You weren't using birth control?