Anyone Have Kids Soon After Dating/Getting Married?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have been together for 3 years and married for 1 year. We got engaged after 1 year, married at 2 years, and we have been married for a year. I’m 33 and we have talked about starting to try for kids, but I feel like it’s still so soon. We have only been together for 3 years. I know kids change the relationship, and I don’t want to feel like we can’t continue to grow our love together because we had kids too soon. I would prefer to wait another 1-2 years but I know that’s a gamble given my age. We really want two kids and how to have them close in age. Has anyone had kids so soon after dating/getting married? If so, how did it turn out? Did you wish you had waited or were you happy you had them when you did?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, knocked up on the honeymoon.

[Anonymous]

We dated for 5 years and had our first child a year after being married. Quickly followed by two more kids. There are a few years when kids were little that are kind of a blur, and we didn’t have a ton of extra money, but traveling, etc. with multiple young kids would not have been easy anyway. We have never wished we did things differently - we are in our 50s with our last one about to go to college, and are excited that we will have time and money to travel.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you've been together that short of a time, comparatively. I knew someone who went from meeting to married and pregnant within a year and it was a total disaster. You've been together way longer.

[Anonymous]

There's never a perfect time to have kids. Having them is part of growing your relationship with each other. It's a crazy blur in the beginning, but it will bring you closer together. Just be sure to make time for quality alone time with each other. The kids don't have to be your whole life, even though they will be a huge chunk of it.

[Anonymous]

I had a kid a year after meeting my husband for the first time, lol. We have 4 kids and are pretty happy. I wouldn't wait at 33 in case there are fertility issues.

[Anonymous]

Shore up the walls of your relationship now, talk at length about expectations and goals, and start trying. You're old. Sorry.

- signed mom at 34 and 36.

[Anonymous]

Yep. Got pregnant in the first three months of dating. Still together with two kids after 15 years. But I would HIGHLY not recommend this timeline. We would never be together if it weren’t for having kids together.

[Anonymous]

I had a kid when we started dating and got married lol!

In all seriousiness we had kids within 3 years and I don't recommend you wait. I've had 2 miscarriages in 2 years at 36 and it's devastating.

[Anonymous]

Got pregnant after 3 months of dating. Been together 15 years.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t wait another year at 33.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t wait either. I had some of the same thoughts and waited two years after getting married at 32 to try and get pregnant. It didn’t happen. Ivf was expensive, stressful, heartbreaking and very difficult on our marriage.

[Anonymous]

Started trying for a baby 3.5 years into our relationship before marriage (both weren’t sure if we wanted to get married), I was 33. After a year of trying, we went to a fertility clinic (already completed tests 6 months into it at OB), diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Tried IUIs becoming moving to IVF and just got pregnant a month shy of turning 35. Wished I tried earlier. We also decided to marry during IVF. Hoping we can have two kids although initially I wanted 3.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Dated one year, engaged for 8 months, married for 13 months then pregnant. Met at 31. First dc at 34. In hindsight, I’d have had first dc even sooner😀

[Anonymous]

Married after 2.5 years together, started trying immediately. It took us a year to conceive so by the time baby is here it will be about 4.5 years together.

Start trying now in case it takes a while and you need help.