Different treatment to teens with SN in mainstream?

[Anonymous]

Yup. They treat those kids as a community service project. The power differential caused by those programs makes the kids secure that they are doing a Good Thing. Being friends with your son as an equal wouldn't give them the same accolades.

[Anonymous]

They do it for the college resume. My DS15 (ADHD + LD) has said he should increase his extracurriculars for college applications. I told him "fine" but he's absolutely not to get involved in things he doesn't enjoy or care about-- it's time consuming and fake and everyone (including colleges) can see through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup. They treat those kids as a community service project. The power differential caused by those programs makes the kids secure that they are doing a Good Thing. Being friends with your son as an equal wouldn't give them the same accolades.

Our school has an instagram to show off the "best Buddies" program and the comments are so patronizing. It reminds me of poverty tourism where people feel so superior posting their photos with the people they help. There was a sports program my child participated in where every event they took a million photos for the local newspaper to show off helping these special needs kids who we should pity. When I refused to allow them tro photograph my SN kid they boy did they get obnoxious. It was clear they wanted to do things for show and our kids were props to feed their egos.

[Anonymous]

My child signed up to help because my child has a sibling with special needs (not in LFI, but a different program at a different school).

Our school does not do photos and IMO its program is very respectful. They don't think of it in the same way that it is implied here. There are a number of kids in the program who come from the neighborhood so these connections last for a long time. It is not unusual for us to see these kids all playing together in the local school after school hours or at the pool in the summers.

I'm sorry the experience has not been good for many of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: My daughter who does not have special needs joined a program to help special needs kids in the school. What I find so interesting is some of the kids who volunteer in that program are the same kids who were cruel to my son who has special needs, but is in mainstream classes. They proudly pose with kids who are in a special needs focused classroom and seem devoted to showing kindness to those students, yet my son and his other friends with special needs who are in the same classes as these volunteers are fair game for cruelty. Has anyone else noticed this? I assume they don't understand that their classroom peers could have special needs and that you should be respectful to all people? My son was actively targeted by one these volunteers.

It's definitely a thing. This may be why their parents are urging them to volunteer for these programs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. They treat those kids as a community service project. The power differential caused by those programs makes the kids secure that they are doing a Good Thing. Being friends with your son as an equal wouldn't give them the same accolades.

Our school has an instagram to show off the "best Buddies" program and the comments are so patronizing. It reminds me of poverty tourism where people feel so superior posting their photos with the people they help. There was a sports program my child participated in where every event they took a million photos for the local newspaper to show off helping these special needs kids who we should pity. When I refused to allow them tro photograph my SN kid they boy did they get obnoxious. It was clear they wanted to do things for show and our kids were props to feed their egos.

This. My SN school does this with another school and I find it so unsavory.

[Anonymous]

Yep. The social justice warrior at a former school despised my autistic child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there needs to be more training about what inclusion really means. Some of these teens humblebrag on social media with photos of themselves with their "special needs" friend. This is a human being with a heart and mind. Those kids you torment are human beings with hearts and minds. You are not a savior. You are simply connecting with someone who has different challenges than the ones you face and who has strengths you may not even know. Put your camera down. Stop trying to get false praise and get to know the student you are paired up with and other kids who seem different to you.

for administrators and teachers as well.

I sat through a school board meeting where students who volunteered in such a program were lauded by the school board. The man who ran the program was a football coach of some sort and yelled-talked in to the microphone and made several derogatory comments about special needs students. He made it clear that his volunteers were wonderful and the special ed kids were a pain. He seemed so defensive for his volunteers, I assumed there had been complaints. A few of the students were given the mic. The football playing popular boy would not give up the podium and told several stories about the child he befriended that were mostly mocking. He got laughs out of the crowd. It was awful. None of the special ed kids were invited - I've never seen one being celebrated or given attention in all my years of attending school board meetings. The special ed students were talked about as if they were either pets or pests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there needs to be more training about what inclusion really means. Some of these teens humblebrag on social media with photos of themselves with their "special needs" friend. This is a human being with a heart and mind. Those kids you torment are human beings with hearts and minds. You are not a savior. You are simply connecting with someone who has different challenges than the ones you face and who has strengths you may not even know. Put your camera down. Stop trying to get false praise and get to know the student you are paired up with and other kids who seem different to you.

This is how their parents behave. They are the PTA folks who do the absolute minimum, pose for a picture, pat themselves on the back and move on to the next opportunity. They don't learn compassion or how to be a decent person as the examples for them are this. Their parents use others for their own gain and that's all these kids know.

This is why I'd never let my child be mentored.

This but then I think a lot of the parents who get involved in the parents special ed groups are the same. They want favors for their kids and don't do anything to help other kids.