Coping strategies for a spouse with extreme time blindness

[Anonymous]

NP here. I used to assume he was scatterbrained. Then realized it was actually quite simple— self-involved. Calling it ADHD was just an excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is like this. Drives me bonkers.

Only thing that seems to have worked is consequences. Doesn't give the kids their bath? I go to bed and let him handle bedtime solo and let him deal with the cranky, sleep deprived kid the next morning. Kid isn't ready in the morning? I leave, he takes kid to school and is late for work. Isn't ready when it's time to leave? I go without him.

Just tonight I told him what time dinner would be ready. He strolled in 30 minutes late. I had eaten, his food was cold, I went on with my own evening plans. He doesn't get intimate time because he's late, oh well.

When it gets really bad I'll have a huge, full-on meltdown. Tears, hysterical sobbing, hyperventilating, freaking out that I have to do everything. Most of it is acting. But it buys me a few weeks of him stepping it up.

This seems . . . incredibly dysfunctional.

Lol. It’s frustrating, but we have a surprisingly good relationship otherwise.

Funnily enough we had a conversation about it this weekend. He brought up that he recognizes it’s a problem he procrastinates but he doesn’t understand why he does it. To me the answer is obvious, get off your phone, take your headphones out, close the laptop. No clue why he’s so baffled that when he spends an hour googling sports, he doesn’t have time to get the kids to school.

[Anonymous]

Take away his phone. Not really, but the minute he comes in and has family responsibilities, the phone goes on the charger. In the mornings, phone goes into the briefcase first thing.

Also, have you thought about feeding the kids first, putting them to bed, and eating as a couple? If you do that, kids can eat your leftovers from the night before.

Make checklists in the morning. How old are your kids? If anyone can read, pretend the checklists are for the kids! Add pictures if kids can't read. Eat, brush teeth, get dressed, brush hair, put lunch into bag, put on coat and leave! Put it into a plastic sleeve and the kid checks it off when each one is done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Alexa.

Open the app and set repeating daily reminders like. . .

"Brad, time to put kids in the bath."

"Brad, are kids in the bath yet?"

"Chad, time to put the kids in bed"

But you need an echo dot in each room DH hangs around in, like kitchen, family room, bedroom.

How can you stand to live being a parent to this additional child?