Teen “lost and found” bin diving

[Anonymous]

Have you mentioned the lice possibility to her?

[Anonymous]

Seems like an entitled thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Seems necessary to spell it out to her. Do not borrow from L&F.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you mentioned the lice possibility to her?

GROSS and very real possibility. I would shut this down in my house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like an entitled thing to do.

Can you imagine if many of us did the same thing growing up? My parents would have ripped me a new one for being such a brat that I assumed it was OK. I didn't grow up wealthy though and my dad was first generation American. The last thing he wanted me to do was steal even if it was only for a short time. I can imagine explaining this to my grandparents who came to this country with nothing. A teen of privilege who's parents can afford to buy her clothes prefers to play around with clothes other people lost. Their parents might be working 2 jobs to afford those clothes, but DCUM says this isn't a battle worth fighting because princess wants to play dress up.

this is a great chance to teach ethics. Just because nobody knows and you don't know the victim who might want her coat back doesn't mean it's OK. Maybe she thinks if someone was careless enough to lose something then it's justified?

[Anonymous]

I would not allow this, at all.

And what teen these days has “stationary” that they take to school?

[Anonymous]

I honestly don't understand the quandary here
Your daughter and her friends are stealing. Tell them to stop.

[Anonymous]

Was raised that if it is not yours, you don't touch it.

They know it is not theirs. It is not theirs to do with as they please.

Someone might be going to check the lost and found and see it is not there, and then stop looking for it at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's easy to justify this...oh mom nobody takes their stuff back, at least it's getting use blah bah. Unless the school policy is that anyone can borrow from the lost and found, she is doing something wrong. It's not shoplifting, but it is entitled to assume it's OK. Many schools have a policy it sits there for x months and then is donated. So presumably there is a teen in need who can get the stuff. Your teen is not in need. Let her go thrift shopping unless she gets actual permission for "borrowing." She needs to learn the rules apply to her too even if it seems inane.

actually the school just resell the things off of Ebay, not even kidding. So your daughter is not doing anything wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a teen version of the dress up bin in preschool. I would ignore.

The dress up bin in preschool is there for the kids. You are paying for your kid to be able to play during class time and put it back. It's part of healthy child development. Taking clothing that is not yours without permission is not part of healthy development. I don't care if they put it back. It sounds like one puts it back and another takes it so basically if anyone goes to find their lost clothing they won't because these girls think it's totally fine to pass around what someone lost. What if that hoodie was purchases by one of the kids at school living at the poverty level. What is mom is going to flip out because they can't afford to buy another and the girl can't find it at school. Or what if it belongs to some rich kid? You don't know. Teach your kid she isn't special. I don't care if the pile sits there all year. unless she has permission, it is not her place to decide it's fine to take someone else's clothing whether it's for a day, a week or a month. How is this not obvious? If it does not belong to you and you didn't pay for it and it's not being offered to you for free, then you can't just take it. Boundaries matter.

If it belongs to a rich kid, I'm sure they won't miss it
some of those clothes belong to kids that don't even GO TO SCHOOL THERE ANYMORE. There is actually a law for finding lost items, you have to go to the owner, and ask them if they want/need it back, if they do, give it back if they don't, it's your's hon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's easy to justify this...oh mom nobody takes their stuff back, at least it's getting use blah bah. Unless the school policy is that anyone can borrow from the lost and found, she is doing something wrong. It's not shoplifting, but it is entitled to assume it's OK. Many schools have a policy it sits there for x months and then is donated. So presumably there is a teen in need who can get the stuff. Your teen is not in need. Let her go thrift shopping unless she gets actual permission for "borrowing." She needs to learn the rules apply to her too even if it seems inane.

actually the school just resell the things off of Ebay, not even kidding. So your daughter is not doing anything wrong

Many school donate the clothes. Yes, her daughter is doing something wrong. She does not have permission and the clothing and items do not belong to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a teen version of the dress up bin in preschool. I would ignore.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was raised that if it is not yours, you don't touch it.

They know it is not theirs. It is not theirs to do with as they please.

Someone might be going to check the lost and found and see it is not there, and then stop looking for it at school.

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Give your daughter $X amount of money and drive her friends to the biggest Goodwill near you. They'll spend hours putting together outfits. If you worry about her accumulating too much stuff, have a One In, One Out policy for every garment that she brings home, she donates one garment back to the store.

Have her work for that money each week if you want so she sees how much labor goes into affording each item of clothing.

[Anonymous]

It’s stealing….plain and simple.