If we have 2 kids in the same private, and apply for aid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty sure that the school’s calculation assumes that your family can afford to pay a certain amount (let’s say $40K), whether that covers half tuition for two children (with the rest covered by financial aid) or all tuition (with no financial aid) for one child. But you should absolutely discuss special circumstances such as a seriously ill parent with the school! I’m sure that most schools would make a real effort to extend aid in that situation. You should not hesitate to apply for aid for both children. Good luck.

Maybe if the family already had ties to the school. For an incoming family, aid will be based on whether or joy they want your kids to fill out the class. There isn’t an unlimited pool for them to draw from, so if your kids bring something to the table, maybe they’ll negotiate. If they are standard good kids, there are dozens more happy to take their spot.

We aren’t an incoming family. I thought that was clear from the word “withdraw”. We are new to financial aid but not to the school.

You need to talk to your director of financial aid. If they calculated aid on an income that is no longer present (sick parent) then they will likely ask you to revise the fin aid application. If you decide to withdraw one, then yes, aid will be reevaluated. But again, tell them what’s going on. Losing an income and a sick parent is a big change to financial circumstances.

The school knows the medical/social piece because my kids have needed support. We don’t have a clear picture of the whole situation yet, so I have been waiting to talk to financial aid.

DH was our primary earner and is not expected to return to work so it is a huge change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can't afford 2 kids with 50% aid, why play games. Unless you are trying to cheat the system? Just apply for 1.

Because before one of their parents got a lifethreatening illness and had to quit working, we could afford it. And so, I want to see whether we might get enough aid for both kids to stay at the school we love on one income. But if we don't, one kid is the obvious one to move.

I plan to apply for aid for both, because it's possible we'll get enough aid for both.

Sorry to see these circumstances. I have no insight to offer, just wish you well. Good luck with what must be a very challenging time.

Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty sure that the school’s calculation assumes that your family can afford to pay a certain amount (let’s say $40K), whether that covers half tuition for two children (with the rest covered by financial aid) or all tuition (with no financial aid) for one child. But you should absolutely discuss special circumstances such as a seriously ill parent with the school! I’m sure that most schools would make a real effort to extend aid in that situation. You should not hesitate to apply for aid for both children. Good luck.

Maybe if the family already had ties to the school. For an incoming family, aid will be based on whether or joy they want your kids to fill out the class. There isn’t an unlimited pool for them to draw from, so if your kids bring something to the table, maybe they’ll negotiate. If they are standard good kids, there are dozens more happy to take their spot.

We aren’t an incoming family. I thought that was clear from the word “withdraw”. We are new to financial aid but not to the school.

You need to talk to your director of financial aid. If they calculated aid on an income that is no longer present (sick parent) then they will likely ask you to revise the fin aid application. If you decide to withdraw one, then yes, aid will be reevaluated. But again, tell them what’s going on. Losing an income and a sick parent is a big change to financial circumstances.

The school knows the medical/social piece because my kids have needed support. We don’t have a clear picture of the whole situation yet, so I have been waiting to talk to financial aid.

DH was our primary earner and is not expected to return to work so it is a huge change.

That really sucks OP. I’m sorry and I hope the school comes through with a financial aid package that allows your kids to stay at their school during an already challenging time for your family. I really hope schools prioritize situations like this in their financial aid decision making.

[Anonymous]

No the package woudl change, when our 3rd was applying in and we already had 2 at the school our aid package was contingent on the 3rd going to a tution charging school .. That is only fair though. You cannot expect it to stay the same but not spend them money.

[Anonymous]

If it is an established private and you are part of the community I imagine they are going to work hard to keep the kids there and help you out.
Talk to FA director and get a sense for what you can do, they may even be more generous in this circumstance.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]No the package woudl change, when our 3rd was applying in and we already had 2 at the school our aid package was contingent on the 3rd going to a tution charging school .. That is only fair though. You cannot expect it to stay the same but not spend them money. [/quote]

Is it all spelled out in the package?

So did you contact say “if one kid comes they pay this, if two come they pay this each . . . “

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty sure that the school’s calculation assumes that your family can afford to pay a certain amount (let’s say $40K), whether that covers half tuition for two children (with the rest covered by financial aid) or all tuition (with no financial aid) for one child. But you should absolutely discuss special circumstances such as a seriously ill parent with the school! I’m sure that most schools would make a real effort to extend aid in that situation. You should not hesitate to apply for aid for both children. Good luck.

Maybe if the family already had ties to the school. For an incoming family, aid will be based on whether or joy they want your kids to fill out the class. There isn’t an unlimited pool for them to draw from, so if your kids bring something to the table, maybe they’ll negotiate. If they are standard good kids, there are dozens more happy to take their spot.

We aren’t an incoming family. I thought that was clear from the word “withdraw”. We are new to financial aid but not to the school.

You need to talk to your director of financial aid. If they calculated aid on an income that is no longer present (sick parent) then they will likely ask you to revise the fin aid application. If you decide to withdraw one, then yes, aid will be reevaluated. But again, tell them what’s going on. Losing an income and a sick parent is a big change to financial circumstances.

The school knows the medical/social piece because my kids have needed support. We don’t have a clear picture of the whole situation yet, so I have been waiting to talk to financial aid.

DH was our primary earner and is not expected to return to work so it is a huge change.

OP, I'm sorry - this must be very hard and I wish your family well.

When it comes to FA, you need to speak with the director. Make sure you have done your HW in advance, e.g., what is the cut in income, etc. I'm sure nothing would be decided on the spot, but it is much better to be prepared to have a specific conversation after you present what is going on with your family, then to have a vague one. The FA director may also appreciate that you have done your HW.

Finally, as we do not know what are all the circumstances of your situation, so we are only spitballing with responses. If you have been paying out of current income, but have a lot of different kind of assets, then it may not be so cut and dry. And, as people have mentioned, schools decide the famiy's' estimated contribution based on the number of kids as well as kids in a tuition-charging school. Let's say they offer 30K for your 2 DCs, that doesn't necessarily mean you still get 30K for one.

Finally, and I hate to say this, but you may want to speak with a planner to consider how this affects over the long term. The CW I've seen in divorces is that it can be best to make cuts in the early years rather than waiting. I have close friend who has now been divorced for 8 years. She realizes she should have cut her housing expenses substantially early on, then waiting till the last 4 years as she would have more to work with when her youngest leaves home next fall for college. This is probably hard to hear, but may also be a new reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty sure that the school’s calculation assumes that your family can afford to pay a certain amount (let’s say $40K), whether that covers half tuition for two children (with the rest covered by financial aid) or all tuition (with no financial aid) for one child. But you should absolutely discuss special circumstances such as a seriously ill parent with the school! I’m sure that most schools would make a real effort to extend aid in that situation. You should not hesitate to apply for aid for both children. Good luck.

Maybe if the family already had ties to the school. For an incoming family, aid will be based on whether or joy they want your kids to fill out the class. There isn’t an unlimited pool for them to draw from, so if your kids bring something to the table, maybe they’ll negotiate. If they are standard good kids, there are dozens more happy to take their spot.

We aren’t an incoming family. I thought that was clear from the word “withdraw”. We are new to financial aid but not to the school.

You need to talk to your director of financial aid. If they calculated aid on an income that is no longer present (sick parent) then they will likely ask you to revise the fin aid application. If you decide to withdraw one, then yes, aid will be reevaluated. But again, tell them what’s going on. Losing an income and a sick parent is a big change to financial circumstances.

The school knows the medical/social piece because my kids have needed support. We don’t have a clear picture of the whole situation yet, so I have been waiting to talk to financial aid.

DH was our primary earner and is not expected to return to work so it is a huge change.

OP, I'm sorry - this must be very hard and I wish your family well.

When it comes to FA, you need to speak with the director. Make sure you have done your HW in advance, e.g., what is the cut in income, etc. I'm sure nothing would be decided on the spot, but it is much better to be prepared to have a specific conversation after you present what is going on with your family, then to have a vague one. The FA director may also appreciate that you have done your HW.

Finally, as we do not know what are all the circumstances of your situation, so we are only spitballing with responses. If you have been paying out of current income, but have a lot of different kind of assets, then it may not be so cut and dry. And, as people have mentioned, schools decide the famiy's' estimated contribution based on the number of kids as well as kids in a tuition-charging school. Let's say they offer 30K for your 2 DCs, that doesn't necessarily mean you still get 30K for one.

Finally, and I hate to say this, but you may want to speak with a planner to consider how this affects over the long term. The CW I've seen in divorces is that it can be best to make cuts in the early years rather than waiting. I have close friend who has now been divorced for 8 years. She realizes she should have cut her housing expenses substantially early on, then waiting till the last 4 years as she would have more to work with when her youngest leaves home next fall for college. This is probably hard to hear, but may also be a new reality.

OP here, yes we have made major cuts already. We aren’t really in a position where we know exactly what to expect, other than it won’t be the same.

Long term, I am fine with moving one kid, although ideally I’d love him to have a little stability while we adjust to this. My other kid is close to graduation and I would like him to finish if possible.

I am not asking whether, if we get $30k aid for 2 we’d get $30K for one. I know the answer to that is no. I am asking if it’s like college where each kid gets an individual packet and I can decline one and accept the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty sure that the school’s calculation assumes that your family can afford to pay a certain amount (let’s say $40K), whether that covers half tuition for two children (with the rest covered by financial aid) or all tuition (with no financial aid) for one child. But you should absolutely discuss special circumstances such as a seriously ill parent with the school! I’m sure that most schools would make a real effort to extend aid in that situation. You should not hesitate to apply for aid for both children. Good luck.

Maybe if the family already had ties to the school. For an incoming family, aid will be based on whether or joy they want your kids to fill out the class. There isn’t an unlimited pool for them to draw from, so if your kids bring something to the table, maybe they’ll negotiate. If they are standard good kids, there are dozens more happy to take their spot.

We aren’t an incoming family. I thought that was clear from the word “withdraw”. We are new to financial aid but not to the school.

You need to talk to your director of financial aid. If they calculated aid on an income that is no longer present (sick parent) then they will likely ask you to revise the fin aid application. If you decide to withdraw one, then yes, aid will be reevaluated. But again, tell them what’s going on. Losing an income and a sick parent is a big change to financial circumstances.

The school knows the medical/social piece because my kids have needed support. We don’t have a clear picture of the whole situation yet, so I have been waiting to talk to financial aid.

DH was our primary earner and is not expected to return to work so it is a huge change.

OP, I'm sorry - this must be very hard and I wish your family well.

When it comes to FA, you need to speak with the director. Make sure you have done your HW in advance, e.g., what is the cut in income, etc. I'm sure nothing would be decided on the spot, but it is much better to be prepared to have a specific conversation after you present what is going on with your family, then to have a vague one. The FA director may also appreciate that you have done your HW.

Finally, as we do not know what are all the circumstances of your situation, so we are only spitballing with responses. If you have been paying out of current income, but have a lot of different kind of assets, then it may not be so cut and dry. And, as people have mentioned, schools decide the famiy's' estimated contribution based on the number of kids as well as kids in a tuition-charging school. Let's say they offer 30K for your 2 DCs, that doesn't necessarily mean you still get 30K for one.

Finally, and I hate to say this, but you may want to speak with a planner to consider how this affects over the long term. The CW I've seen in divorces is that it can be best to make cuts in the early years rather than waiting. I have close friend who has now been divorced for 8 years. She realizes she should have cut her housing expenses substantially early on, then waiting till the last 4 years as she would have more to work with when her youngest leaves home next fall for college. This is probably hard to hear, but may also be a new reality.

OP here, yes we have made major cuts already. We aren’t really in a position where we know exactly what to expect, other than it won’t be the same.

Long term, I am fine with moving one kid, although ideally I’d love him to have a little stability while we adjust to this. My other kid is close to graduation and I would like him to finish if possible.

I am not asking whether, if we get $30k aid for 2 we’d get $30K for one. I know the answer to that is no. I am asking if it’s like college where each kid gets an individual packet and I can decline one and accept the other.

No, it is not necessarily like that. Even in college, the packet depends on the whole family, not the individual kid. My package was manageable when it was just me, more manageable when my younger sister enrolled two years later. Youngest sister was similar to me - lost aid for last two years as she was only one in college. We were enrolled at three different institutions. So more aid when two were in school and less aid when only one in school.

But you'll know more by speaking to the director, who may be motivated to help, especially with older DC.

Again, good luck and best wishes.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]No the package woudl change, when our 3rd was applying in and we already had 2 at the school our aid package was contingent on the 3rd going to a tution charging school .. That is only fair though. You cannot expect it to stay the same but not spend them money. [/quote]

The issue is loss of income because of health issues, not going for more kids.

[Anonymous]

OP here,

I know that family size and specifics are taken into account in college but the offers are still individual as I understand it. If you get a letter offering a 25K grant for kid A, and then kid B wins a full ride or decides to go to community college you still get the 25K grant for kid A for that year. Next year might be different.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to talk to the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to talk to the school.

OP here,

I know. Obviously, the news that you won't be able to provide for your family going forward has been very hard for my spouse. He needs a little more time before he's going to be ready to have that conversation. So, I'm asking here.

I would assume that someone who has more than one kid receiving financial aid would know whether each kid gets a separate offer, or whether it's one offer that assumes both kids are going to attend. I'm not clear whether any of the respondents are in that situation. Or perhaps they are, but don't remember what it says.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to talk to the school.

OP here,

I know. Obviously, the news that you won't be able to provide for your family going forward has been very hard for my spouse. He needs a little more time before he's going to be ready to have that conversation. So, I'm asking here.

I would assume that someone who has more than one kid receiving financial aid would know whether each kid gets a separate offer, or whether it's one offer that assumes both kids are going to attend. I'm not clear whether any of the respondents are in that situation. Or perhaps they are, but don't remember what it says.

I am so sorry OP. My daughters got a little bit of aid last year when we had a drop in income. They each got $3,000 (which is not much, but helped) and I believe it was contingent on both attending the school. I hope this answers your questions. Please get in touch with the FA person at your school. The earlier you talk to them, the more they can help. They may not be able to do much if you talk to them when all the aid has been allocated. Your husband does not need to be involved and it can just be an informal conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to talk to the school.

OP here,

I know. Obviously, the news that you won't be able to provide for your family going forward has been very hard for my spouse. He needs a little more time before he's going to be ready to have that conversation. So, I'm asking here.

I would assume that someone who has more than one kid receiving financial aid would know whether each kid gets a separate offer, or whether it's one offer that assumes both kids are going to attend. I'm not clear whether any of the respondents are in that situation. Or perhaps they are, but don't remember what it says.

OP, there is no separate offer. The offer is contingent based on the number of kids in a tuition paying school. If you have 2 DCs, then there is offer A. If you have 1 DC in the school and one in public, then there is offer B. The formula takes into account assets, income, expenditures, and, ideally, extenuating circumstances. You would not be paying for the second DC if in public, so the offer for the first DC still in private would reflect that.