Reply to If we have 2 kids in the same private, and apply for aid

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Pretty sure that the school’s calculation assumes that your family can afford to pay a certain amount (let’s say $40K), whether that covers half tuition for two children (with the rest covered by financial aid) or all tuition (with no financial aid) for one child. But you should absolutely discuss special circumstances such as a seriously ill parent with the school! I’m sure that most schools would make a real effort to extend aid in that situation. You should not hesitate to apply for aid for both children. Good luck.[/quote]

Maybe if the family already had ties to the school. For an incoming family, aid will be based on whether or joy they want your kids to fill out the class. There isn’t an unlimited pool for them to draw from, so if your kids bring something to the table, maybe they’ll negotiate. If they are standard good kids, there are dozens more happy to take their spot.[/quote]

We aren’t an incoming family.  I thought that was clear from the word “withdraw”. We are new to financial aid but not to the school.[/quote]

You need to talk to your director of financial aid.  If they calculated aid on an income that is no longer present (sick parent) then they will likely ask you to revise the fin aid application.  If you decide to withdraw one, then yes, aid will be reevaluated. But again, tell them what’s going on.  Losing an income and a sick parent is a big change to financial circumstances. [/quote]

The school knows the medical/social piece because my kids have needed support.   We don’t have a clear picture of the whole situation yet, so I have been waiting to talk to financial aid.

DH was our primary earner and is not expected to return to work so it is a huge change.[/quote]

OP, I'm sorry - this must be very hard and I wish your family well.

When it comes to FA, you need to speak with the director. Make sure you have done your HW in advance, e.g., what is the cut in income, etc. I'm sure nothing would be decided on the spot, but it is much better to be prepared to have a specific conversation after you present what is going on with your family, then to have a vague one. The FA director may also appreciate that you have done your HW.

Finally, as we do not know what are all the circumstances of your situation, so we are only spitballing with responses. If you have been paying out of current income, but have a lot of different kind of assets, then it may not be so cut and dry. And, as people have mentioned, schools decide the famiy's' estimated contribution based on the number of kids as well as kids in a tuition-charging school. Let's say they offer 30K for your 2 DCs, that doesn't necessarily mean you still get 30K for one.

Finally, and I hate to say this, but you may want to speak with a planner to consider how this affects over the long term. The CW I've seen in divorces is that it can be best to make cuts in the early years rather than waiting. I have close friend who has now been divorced for 8 years. She realizes she should have cut her housing expenses substantially early on, then waiting till the last 4 years as she would have more to work with when her youngest leaves home next fall for college. This is probably hard to hear, but may also be a new reality.[/quote]

OP here, yes we have made major cuts already.  We aren’t really in a position where we know exactly what to expect, other than it won’t be the same.

Long term, I am fine with moving one kid, although ideally I’d love him to have a little stability while we adjust to this.  My other kid is close to graduation and I would like him to finish if possible.

I am not asking whether, if we get $30k aid for 2 we’d get $30K for one.  I know the answer to that is no.  I am asking if it’s like college where each kid gets an individual packet and I can decline one and accept the other.[/quote]

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