One kid has a phone, the other doesn't

[Anonymous]

It makes absolutely no sense not to give the younger kid a phone but let her use a phone for hours on end.

[Anonymous]

Neither of them should have phones at those ages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Neither of them should have phones at those ages.

these days with all of the crimes involving children there is no such thing as to young for a phone.

[Anonymous]

Buy older sister a new phone and give the old Samsung to her sister. Don’t get a data plan or phone line for little sister and just use WiFi.

Big sister will feel like she scored. And you aren’t getting little sister a full phone with a number, that can still wait

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she have access to an iPad? She can text and FaceTime on that.

She doesn't have an iPad or a tablet because we aren't an Apple family. As I said, my seventh grader has my old Samsung.

That's great that you aren't "an Apple family" but tablets are not exclusively Apple products lol.


As far as the question, you be the parent and tell 4th grade Larla that she will no longer have big sister's phone to share since she's shown she is too young to handle it. Older kids may have more privileges than younger ones, that's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I have two daughters, "Larla" and "Darla." Darla is in seventh grade and got a phone at the beginning of fifth grade when she started staying after school more often for clubs and things like that. She was one of the last in her grade and her friend group to get a phone but she didn't care.

I planned to do the same to Larla, who is in fourth grade and get her a phone when she started fifth grade like I did her sister. But all of the kids in her friend group and her grade have a phone and Larla has been begging for one so she could talk with her friends after school. Since she didn't socialize with anyone during the pandemic, I allowed her to use her sister's phone to talk to her friends. That has gone horribly. She goes to her room and videochats with her friends for three hours straight like she didn't just see them all day at school. She downloads apps and takes a million pictures. Today Darla had to delete a bunch of pictures and texts because Larla ran down the storage. The storage was so low Darla wasn't able to open WhatsApp to communicate with her father who is in the military overseas in Germany. Larla, Darla, and I had a big fight about how if I let Larla have a phone than she wouldn't have to run down the storage on Darla's. Darla decided to forbid her sister from using her phone because she knew with the amount of pictures that Larla took and the hours and hours of videochatting, she'd just have to delete more stuff a month later. Darla has my old Samsung with horrible storage and I'm not getting her a better phone until I upgrade.

I am not getting Larla a phone any sooner than when I agreed on and Darla is getting frustrated that she has to share a phone with someone who runs down the battery and storage. How do I get Larla to understand this?

Darla's phone, she can choose not to share. Either let Larla use YOUR phone or get a flip phone just for calls and texts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Christmas is coming. Get her a phone. Done.

This. You do not have to do the same thing with each kid.

[Anonymous]

Tell younger she's not getting a phone until she can show some self control. Give her specific rules about the amount of time she can be on the phone and what she can do on it. It sounds like she will be a monster if you get her her own phone now.

[Anonymous]

I find it hard to believe that other fourth graders have phones. A lot have tablets…but none of my daughters friends have phones yet. Most other parents tell me they usually get them in middle school. Is this not the case anymore? Why don’t you get your younger daughter a tablet? You can download all the apps and she can talk with her friends via wifi using the apps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that other fourth graders have phones. A lot have tablets…but none of my daughters friends have phones yet. Most other parents tell me they usually get them in middle school. Is this not the case anymore? Why don’t you get your younger daughter a tablet? You can download all the apps and she can talk with her friends via wifi using the apps.

Our principal says most fourth and fifth grade kids got phones during covid. It’s different now than even two years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Christmas is coming. Get her a phone. Done.

No. Get the older daughter a new phone. Little sister can inherit the old Samsung. It’s not fair to give the younger child a new phone when the oldest is still using the hand me down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell younger she's not getting a phone until she can show some self control. Give her specific rules about the amount of time she can be on the phone and what she can do on it. It sounds like she will be a monster if you get her her own phone now.

This is good advice. Sit down with her and come up with some guidelines, and the consequences if she breaks them.

Do this ahead of time to avoid fights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy older sister a new phone and give the old Samsung to her sister. Don’t get a data plan or phone line for little sister and just use WiFi.

Big sister will feel like she scored. And you aren’t getting little sister a full phone with a number, that can still wait

Great solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither of them should have phones at those ages.

these days with all of the crimes involving children there is no such thing as to young for a phone.

Unfortunately many crimes involving children happen on or because of a phone.

[Anonymous]

Do you like how younger behaved with the phone? If not, get her behavior under control before getting her a phone.