One kid has a phone, the other doesn't
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Anonymous
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I have two daughters, "Larla" and "Darla." Darla is in seventh grade and got a phone at the beginning of fifth grade when she started staying after school more often for clubs and things like that. She was one of the last in her grade and her friend group to get a phone but she didn't care.
I planned to do the same to Larla, who is in fourth grade and get her a phone when she started fifth grade like I did her sister. But all of the kids in her friend group and her grade have a phone and Larla has been begging for one so she could talk with her friends after school. Since she didn't socialize with anyone during the pandemic, I allowed her to use her sister's phone to talk to her friends. That has gone horribly. She goes to her room and videochats with her friends for three hours straight like she didn't just see them all day at school. She downloads apps and takes a million pictures. Today Darla had to delete a bunch of pictures and texts because Larla ran down the storage. The storage was so low Darla wasn't able to open WhatsApp to communicate with her father who is in the military overseas in Germany. Larla, Darla, and I had a big fight about how if I let Larla have a phone than she wouldn't have to run down the storage on Darla's. Darla decided to forbid her sister from using her phone because she knew with the amount of pictures that Larla took and the hours and hours of videochatting, she'd just have to delete more stuff a month later. Darla has my old Samsung with horrible storage and I'm not getting her a better phone until I upgrade. I am not getting Larla a phone any sooner than when I agreed on and Darla is getting frustrated that she has to share a phone with someone who runs down the battery and storage. How do I get Larla to understand this? |
Anonymous
| You opened the can by giving her her sisters phone. Make sure she can communicate in other ways after school. Aa family ipad with no code and no access to download pics? |
Anonymous
| It is never a good idea to have siblings share electronics it will always start fights, i know its not what you want to do but the only way to solve this problem is for larla to have he own phone. |
Anonymous
| I’d get her a phone. It’s not worth the level of unpleasantness and the big to the relationships between family members to stand on a meaningless principle. |
Anonymous
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I don't agree with giving one child the other child's phone but she can do all that on an old phone or tablet. You need to supervise and set limits. You need to put blockers on it and only allow a certain amount a day after everything else is done.
Get a gizmo and/or home phone for emergencies - magic Jack is super cheap for a year of phone. And, let her use a tablet for messaging. |
Anonymous
| The storage thing doesn't make a lot of sense. |
Anonymous
| Does she have access to an iPad? She can text and FaceTime on that. |
Anonymous
She doesn't have an iPad or a tablet because we aren't an Apple family. As I said, my seventh grader has my old Samsung. |
Anonymous
| Family therapy. Your daughters' father is overseas, they have fights with each other, they need help. |
Anonymous
For everything the answer is therapy… come on! This was a totally legitimate reason to fight! OP just buy your older sister a new phone and give younger sister older sister’s phone. Both will be very happy. Limit the time they can spend on it though… |
Anonymous
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Wouldn’t a kindle work the same as an iPad? If you post on your local Buy Nothing page, or similar local group, looking for an WiFi device someone could text/video chat on for your daughter to use until you’re ready to get her a phone I bet someone would have an old device they might give you.
Your current phone set up sounds like a recipe for disaster unless you have very strict rules that you monitor (I.e. younger daughter has access to phone for 1 he a night to talk to friends, but no pictures or downloads and if she violates that, she doesn’t get to use it for the month). Honestly though, I think that’s go smoother on your phone than other DDs. |
Anonymous
Get the kid a tablet. Monitor it. |
Anonymous
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Is the Dad in Germany both girls' dad? Or just your older daughter?
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Anonymous
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Kindle Fire is like $60 and not a phone.
Point of order: your older kid doesn’t have a phone. Your two kids share a phone, and the younger one hogs it. |
Anonymous
| Christmas is coming. Get her a phone. Done. |