Why is my family attacking me like this?

[Anonymous]

why are you opening these emails?

[Anonymous]

Flying Monkeys-definitely.

You remain calm and don't respond. Good that you are blocking. They are not safe people.

This is what dysfunctional families do. they unite around a scapegoat. Don't be surprised if once you successfully disengage and don't take the bait for months or years, they stat fighting with eachother and eventually cutting off from eachother. Healthy people do not bond over hatred and anger. Healthy people have boundaries and will not emotionally abuse someone for taking a break from a family member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clearly your mother was telling her sad story over Thanksgiving. There was probably crying involved. Now your relatives are trying to step into the breach.

This. She released the flying monkeys.
No wonder you are no contact.

[Anonymous]

Abuse is so often a family disease, and so often a generational one.

The problem is that it’s very likely all these relationships are all dysfunctional with enabler and codependents and all kinds of sticky things.

You now know these peoples intentions towards you are not good, which is a hurtful, but at least honest place to be. Be empowered by that and choose to surround yourself with people that will love you and have your back instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been no-contact with my mother, and my whole family because of this, for over a year. It’s a long story rich in a history of emotional abuse, and all I can say is it’s been better this way, healing. But now as we arrive at this interim time between Thanksgiving and Christmas, something is happening: All of a sudden I’m being bombarded by texts from family members who I haven’t heard from in years.

They’ll start by asking benign questions to reel me in, and then explain to me how much I’m hurting my mother, how it’s time I talk to her again. When I explain that I just can’t, the mood changes completely and I’m attacked! From three different people I’ve been told that I have “never deserved anything good”, that I’m “disappointing and cold hearted”, and one person told me that my side of the story doesn’t matter and that they “will ALWAYS take your mother’s side”. All of these arrived within the last three days.

I haven’t responded to any of them further, but I’m sitting here like wtf just happened! And what do I do with this? These are my family members who I had a fine and loving relationship with until I stopped speaking with my mother. I don’t so much care that they’re angry with me, I knew this would happen and I’ve resigned myself to it. But why are they doing this? Attacking me? What is their end game? Surely they can’t expect to spew such hate and expect me to have a relationship with them? So what’s the point in attacking me?

"I've told you my position. It is not up for discussion. If you insist on bringing it up and sending me nasty texts/emails, I will have to block you." Then do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't know what happened, so honestly you could be right or you could be spoiled snowflake.

What a profound observation. Thanks for this valuable contribution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't know what happened, so honestly you could be right or you could be spoiled snowflake.

What a profound observation. Thanks for this valuable contribution.

You are welcome, snowflake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Abuse is so often a family disease, and so often a generational one.

The problem is that it’s very likely all these relationships are all dysfunctional with enabler and codependents and all kinds of sticky things.

You now know these peoples intentions towards you are not good, which is a hurtful, but at least honest place to be. Be empowered by that and choose to surround yourself with people that will love you and have your back instead.

This. Eventually they will likely turn on eachother, for now they get along having a common enemy-you. In my husband's family we took a break from MILs abuse and became the scapegoats. Years later they are all estranged from eachother and everyone who was married except us is divorced. Some people never realize the dysfunction and so they never get help to break patterns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Abuse is so often a family disease, and so often a generational one.

The problem is that it’s very likely all these relationships are all dysfunctional with enabler and codependents and all kinds of sticky things.

You now know these peoples intentions towards you are not good, which is a hurtful, but at least honest place to be. Be empowered by that and choose to surround yourself with people that will love you and have your back instead.

This. Eventually they will likely turn on eachother, for now they get along having a common enemy-you. In my husband's family we took a break from MILs abuse and became the scapegoats. Years later they are all estranged from eachother and everyone who was married except us is divorced. Some people never realize the dysfunction and so they never get help to break patterns.

This! This is what happens. It happened in DH family. My DH’s aunt and his cousins rallied with MIL when he pulled away. They all attacked him and sided with her. I think she assumed they took her in and she had become one of them. I guess she was devastated when they couldn’t find time for her around the holidays. They completely left her out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Flying Monkeys-definitely.

You remain calm and don't respond. Good that you are blocking. They are not safe people.

This is what dysfunctional families do. they unite around a scapegoat. Don't be surprised if once you successfully disengage and don't take the bait for months or years, they stat fighting with eachother and eventually cutting off from eachother. Healthy people do not bond over hatred and anger. Healthy people have boundaries and will not emotionally abuse someone for taking a break from a family member.

This -

Not OP, but in similar situation. For years my Mom would say “this is just how families are, they say these things to each other a d then forgive and move on”. Very easy for them to say that when the parent is causing the hurt. This is not normal, it is dysfunctional

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't know what happened, so honestly you could be right or you could be spoiled snowflake.

What a profound observation. Thanks for this valuable contribution.

You are welcome, snowflake.

You're right one of us is a snowflake. But it's the one in your mirror.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't know what happened, so honestly you could be right or you could be spoiled snowflake.

What a profound observation. Thanks for this valuable contribution.

You are welcome, snowflake.

OH OP sorry. Looks like my mother is on this thread. Ignore. She has already alienated so many people with her nastiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look up Dr. Ramani on YouTube. These are flying monkeys.

I’d block and ignore, get a new phone number if you have to.

This. Sorry, OP. They are trying to suck you back in to the dysfunction. No contract all of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't know what happened, so honestly you could be right or you could be spoiled snowflake.

What a profound observation. Thanks for this valuable contribution.

You are welcome, snowflake.

LOL, LOL. Who peed in your coffee this morning??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't know what happened, so honestly you could be right or you could be spoiled snowflake.

What a profound observation. Thanks for this valuable contribution.

You are welcome, snowflake.

You're right one of us is a snowflake. But it's the one in your mirror.

I think we know the answer as to who is to blame for the fallout. You, not your family. Maybe mom yelled at you when you got drunk and that is "abusive" to you.
Pray tell me what is emotional abuse?