Help with 10mo sleep, I'm dying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really shocked by how little many of you prioritize your own sleep. I can’t be the best mom to my kid if I don’t get good rest most of the time. 9 months is way past the point where your kid should require additional nutrition unless something is wrong (ask the ped, etc). All babies wake up all night long, and they are more awake during those periods towards the morning. The question is only whether they go back to sleep on their own or whether you help them. If you keep helping, why would they go back to sleep on their own? And actually your baby is so mature that he DOES, with only a little fussing, and yet you are still getting out of bed every night. I think that’s madness.

I agree with this, although I'd say it nicer.

I am a terrible mom if I am tired. And, my children/babies are grumps if they're tired. Therefore, we sleep train.

OP. The actual answer is prioritizing tonight’s sleep over future nights’ sleep. We do/have sleep trained, but I dread the sleep I’ll lose if I say good night and just don’t go back into his room until 6am. Clearly I need to bite the bullet. Full extinction?

FWIW, I wasn't intending to do full extinction but I found "pop-ins" made the crying waaaay worse and basically prolonged the pain of cry it out. We finally did full extinction and after a few painful days, baby finally sleeps through night.

All parents I've spoken to found the same and used full extinction. I have yet to find a parent where pop-ins were successful lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can’t move naps then I’d cap them to maintain some sleep pressure to get him solidly through the night

No! Please don't do this. A tired baby has a harder time falling/staying asleep than a rested one. Keep the naps as they are - they are working for your sched and your baby needs them.

Disagree. If he’s getting 2 naps, 2 hours each, that’s too much and could be leaving him not tired at night, hence all the wakings. OP could just be expecting too much sleep.

OP. It’s usually more like 2-3 total hours of nap a day, if that helps.

That’s not too bad. 3 might be a bit much but I’m wondering if he just needs more wake time. Check out Respectful Sleep Training/Learning group on Facebook. They recommend a 3/3.5/3.5 schedule at this age. His second nap and bed may just be too early. He could need the full 3.5 hours between naps and before bed.

OP. Okay so just brainstorming here — I need him up by 2:45 for school pickup. He has to be in the car about 12-12:15 for preschool pickup. He’s usually BUSHED by 9:15 because he’s up so early. I guess if I get him up from his nap like 10:30, then he goes down for the second one about 1:30 or 1:45, that might work? I hate to limit naps because I’ve always been a big Weissbluth sleep begets sleep fan but I’m willing to try anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really shocked by how little many of you prioritize your own sleep. I can’t be the best mom to my kid if I don’t get good rest most of the time. 9 months is way past the point where your kid should require additional nutrition unless something is wrong (ask the ped, etc). All babies wake up all night long, and they are more awake during those periods towards the morning. The question is only whether they go back to sleep on their own or whether you help them. If you keep helping, why would they go back to sleep on their own? And actually your baby is so mature that he DOES, with only a little fussing, and yet you are still getting out of bed every night. I think that’s madness.

I agree with this, although I'd say it nicer.

I am a terrible mom if I am tired. And, my children/babies are grumps if they're tired. Therefore, we sleep train.

OP. The actual answer is prioritizing tonight’s sleep over future nights’ sleep. We do/have sleep trained, but I dread the sleep I’ll lose if I say good night and just don’t go back into his room until 6am. Clearly I need to bite the bullet. Full extinction?

FWIW, I wasn't intending to do full extinction but I found "pop-ins" made the crying waaaay worse and basically prolonged the pain of cry it out. We finally did full extinction and after a few painful days, baby finally sleeps through night.

All parents I've spoken to found the same and used full extinction. I have yet to find a parent where pop-ins were successful lol

OP. This was my experience with my older kids, but this guy will wake up and fuss a couple minutes. If I stick my head in and say “good night!” he just goes back to sleep. If I don’t he only fusses a few minutes but then I’m VERY AWAKE because mom adrenaline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could try the Weissbluth book - there's some good troubleshooting stuff in there that seems to work for a lot of parents.

I have no real advice because my first child slept through the night at 4 months and my second child didn't sleep through the night until 17 months!

Do you have a partner who can do some of the 5:30 wake ups? If you can nap when he naps, I would just do that and not get other things done. Oh well.

The only other thing I'll say is that I was so tired for 17 months but then he started sleeping through the night and honestly.... I don't know, I thought it would solve all my life's problems, and it didn't haha. And basically a week after he started sleeping through the night I pretty much forgot about the previous 17 months. He's 2.5 now and I'm still here!

The PP above me has a good point. Have you considered just putting him to bed later? I know it's shocking, but one thing that also helped with my son was putting him to bed at 9! I NEVER did that with my first child - it was always bed at 7. My son still takes one nap and goes to sleep at about 9:30 and wakes up about 7:30. Some kids just don't need 14 hours of sleep every day or 12 hrs of overnight sleep.

Mine broke all the rules and needed a later bedtime too. The more sleep generates more sleep thing was a myth for him. OP put him to bed later or go to bed earlier yourself. He also doesn't need food overnight

[Anonymous]

Do you still have a baby monitor in your room? If so. throw it out. if your kid needs you they will get loud enough that you will hear them without a monitor (unless you are truly in another part of the house). What you need to do is sleep train yourself. If the baby fusses, try to stay in a relaxed sleepy mode and go back to sleep yourself. Your child will too .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. Okay so just brainstorming here — I need him up by 2:45 for school pickup. He has to be in the car about 12-12:15 for preschool pickup. He’s usually BUSHED by 9:15 because he’s up so early. I guess if I get him up from his nap like 10:30, then he goes down for the second one about 1:30 or 1:45, that might work? I hate to limit naps because I’ve always been a big Weissbluth sleep begets sleep fan but I’m willing to try anything.

Mine never had a good enough schedule that age to be reliably awake for two daily events like that. Sorry I can't be more helpful. Is there anyway to keep him up even later and have the nap after the 2:45 pickup?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you still have a baby monitor in your room? If so. throw it out. if your kid needs you they will get loud enough that you will hear them without a monitor (unless you are truly in another part of the house). What you need to do is sleep train yourself. If the baby fusses, try to stay in a relaxed sleepy mode and go back to sleep yourself. Your child will too .

Op. I don’t have a monitor! I can hear him fussing unless I wear earplugs (which I don’t want to do because I need to be able to hear if one of the other kids needs me). I’ve become an insanely light sleeper since having kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you still have a baby monitor in your room? If so. throw it out. if your kid needs you they will get loud enough that you will hear them without a monitor (unless you are truly in another part of the house). What you need to do is sleep train yourself. If the baby fusses, try to stay in a relaxed sleepy mode and go back to sleep yourself. Your child will too .

Op. I don’t have a monitor! I can hear him fussing unless I wear earplugs (which I don’t want to do because I need to be able to hear if one of the other kids needs me). I’ve become an insanely light sleeper since having kids.

I have a video monitor without the sound on. That way if I hear anything I can do a visual check without sitting up. That’s what helps keep me the most asleep. Otherwise I’m fully awake trying to figure out what I’m hearing.

But getting up and poking your head in seems like the same as staying in bed awake listening except that one is a path to endless sleep deprivation and one might help the fussing get shorter and shorter until it doesn’t wake you up.

[Anonymous]

Op, your schedule sounds fine. I would do CIO at night wake ups- don't go back in until whatever time you wish to start the day.

[Anonymous]

Check for anemia and lead poisoning

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Check for anemia and lead poisoning

WTF?