Help with 10mo sleep, I'm dying.

[Anonymous]

My ten month old is killing me. He goes to bed between 6 and 7, depending on how tired he seems, falls asleep nicely on his own, and a couple weeks ago I stopped nursing him if he wakes up before 4am. And yet he's still waking up in the middle of the night most nights, usually around 12 and around 2 or 3. He'll go back to sleep right away if I go in and tell him it's sleeping time (if I don't go in he fusses for a while). Then he usually nurses between 4 and 5 -- if it's on the earlier side, he'll go back to sleep, but pretty frequently he'll be up for the day by 5:30am, and I'm so freaking tired.

He naps at 9am and 1pm, durations vary considerably but usually an hour or two. I can't really move his naps around very much because of school timing for his older siblings. I can sometimes nap when he does, but then I don't get anything done.

Please help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ten month old is killing me. He goes to bed between 6 and 7, depending on how tired he seems, falls asleep nicely on his own, and a couple weeks ago I stopped nursing him if he wakes up before 4am. And yet he's still waking up in the middle of the night most nights, usually around 12 and around 2 or 3. He'll go back to sleep right away if I go in and tell him it's sleeping time (if I don't go in he fusses for a while). Then he usually nurses between 4 and 5 -- if it's on the earlier side, he'll go back to sleep, but pretty frequently he'll be up for the day by 5:30am, and I'm so freaking tired.

He naps at 9am and 1pm, durations vary considerably but usually an hour or two. I can't really move his naps around very much because of school timing for his older siblings. I can sometimes nap when he does, but then I don't get anything done.

Please help.

Stop nursing at night. Decide what time you’re going to get up (6, 6:30, 7), and stick with that. Take the baby out of his room and nurse him with the lights on at that point. You can go in at night and tell him to go back to sleep, just don’t linger. Wake ups before your set time are still night wakings. It will be tiring for another few days to a week but should get better quickly.

[Anonymous]

If you can’t move naps then I’d cap them to maintain some sleep pressure to get him solidly through the night

[Anonymous]

I’m really shocked by how little many of you prioritize your own sleep. I can’t be the best mom to my kid if I don’t get good rest most of the time. 9 months is way past the point where your kid should require additional nutrition unless something is wrong (ask the ped, etc). All babies wake up all night long, and they are more awake during those periods towards the morning. The question is only whether they go back to sleep on their own or whether you help them. If you keep helping, why would they go back to sleep on their own? And actually your baby is so mature that he DOES, with only a little fussing, and yet you are still getting out of bed every night. I think that’s madness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ten month old is killing me. He goes to bed between 6 and 7, depending on how tired he seems, falls asleep nicely on his own, and a couple weeks ago I stopped nursing him if he wakes up before 4am. And yet he's still waking up in the middle of the night most nights, usually around 12 and around 2 or 3. He'll go back to sleep right away if I go in and tell him it's sleeping time (if I don't go in he fusses for a while). Then he usually nurses between 4 and 5 -- if it's on the earlier side, he'll go back to sleep, but pretty frequently he'll be up for the day by 5:30am, and I'm so freaking tired.

He naps at 9am and 1pm, durations vary considerably but usually an hour or two. I can't really move his naps around very much because of school timing for his older siblings. I can sometimes nap when he does, but then I don't get anything done.

Please help.

Why did you drop the MOTN feed? 6/7-12-2 is STTN because its 5-8 hours. 4/5am can absolutely be a wakeup time for a kid that goes to bed at 6. 6-5 is 11 hours plus 2 naps is adequate sleep. If my 3 year old doesnt take a nap and goes to sleep at 630 he is up at 530 and he is hungry.

Even if you didnt feed him in the middle of the night sleeping 10-11 hours is more than enough for overnight at this age. He is still taking 2 naps. So if he goes to bed at 630 and wakes at 430 thats 10 hours.

[Anonymous]

You could try the Weissbluth book - there's some good troubleshooting stuff in there that seems to work for a lot of parents.

I have no real advice because my first child slept through the night at 4 months and my second child didn't sleep through the night until 17 months!

Do you have a partner who can do some of the 5:30 wake ups? If you can nap when he naps, I would just do that and not get other things done. Oh well.

The only other thing I'll say is that I was so tired for 17 months but then he started sleeping through the night and honestly.... I don't know, I thought it would solve all my life's problems, and it didn't haha. And basically a week after he started sleeping through the night I pretty much forgot about the previous 17 months. He's 2.5 now and I'm still here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could try the Weissbluth book - there's some good troubleshooting stuff in there that seems to work for a lot of parents.

I have no real advice because my first child slept through the night at 4 months and my second child didn't sleep through the night until 17 months!

Do you have a partner who can do some of the 5:30 wake ups? If you can nap when he naps, I would just do that and not get other things done. Oh well.

The only other thing I'll say is that I was so tired for 17 months but then he started sleeping through the night and honestly.... I don't know, I thought it would solve all my life's problems, and it didn't haha. And basically a week after he started sleeping through the night I pretty much forgot about the previous 17 months. He's 2.5 now and I'm still here!

The PP above me has a good point. Have you considered just putting him to bed later? I know it's shocking, but one thing that also helped with my son was putting him to bed at 9! I NEVER did that with my first child - it was always bed at 7. My son still takes one nap and goes to sleep at about 9:30 and wakes up about 7:30. Some kids just don't need 14 hours of sleep every day or 12 hrs of overnight sleep.

[Anonymous]

OP. The baby is exhausted by 7 or 7:30. 6 is abnormally early for us, it was just on my mind because yesterday he only got one middle of the day nap due to extenuating circumstances and I put him down super early.

[Anonymous]

Here’s what I did, around age 1 (10 months probably close enough). Took a baby bottle with milk/formula, added ice to it, and used a cup holder to hang it from the side of the crib after DC went to sleep. He would wake up, drink, go back to sleep. Bought me extra sleep too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m really shocked by how little many of you prioritize your own sleep. I can’t be the best mom to my kid if I don’t get good rest most of the time. 9 months is way past the point where your kid should require additional nutrition unless something is wrong (ask the ped, etc). All babies wake up all night long, and they are more awake during those periods towards the morning. The question is only whether they go back to sleep on their own or whether you help them. If you keep helping, why would they go back to sleep on their own? And actually your baby is so mature that he DOES, with only a little fussing, and yet you are still getting out of bed every night. I think that’s madness.

I agree with this, although I'd say it nicer.

I am a terrible mom if I am tired. And, my children/babies are grumps if they're tired. Therefore, we sleep train.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can’t move naps then I’d cap them to maintain some sleep pressure to get him solidly through the night

No! Please don't do this. A tired baby has a harder time falling/staying asleep than a rested one. Keep the naps as they are - they are working for your sched and your baby needs them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really shocked by how little many of you prioritize your own sleep. I can’t be the best mom to my kid if I don’t get good rest most of the time. 9 months is way past the point where your kid should require additional nutrition unless something is wrong (ask the ped, etc). All babies wake up all night long, and they are more awake during those periods towards the morning. The question is only whether they go back to sleep on their own or whether you help them. If you keep helping, why would they go back to sleep on their own? And actually your baby is so mature that he DOES, with only a little fussing, and yet you are still getting out of bed every night. I think that’s madness.

I agree with this, although I'd say it nicer.

I am a terrible mom if I am tired. And, my children/babies are grumps if they're tired. Therefore, we sleep train.

OP. The actual answer is prioritizing tonight’s sleep over future nights’ sleep. We do/have sleep trained, but I dread the sleep I’ll lose if I say good night and just don’t go back into his room until 6am. Clearly I need to bite the bullet. Full extinction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can’t move naps then I’d cap them to maintain some sleep pressure to get him solidly through the night

No! Please don't do this. A tired baby has a harder time falling/staying asleep than a rested one. Keep the naps as they are - they are working for your sched and your baby needs them.

Disagree. If he’s getting 2 naps, 2 hours each, that’s too much and could be leaving him not tired at night, hence all the wakings. OP could just be expecting too much sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can’t move naps then I’d cap them to maintain some sleep pressure to get him solidly through the night

No! Please don't do this. A tired baby has a harder time falling/staying asleep than a rested one. Keep the naps as they are - they are working for your sched and your baby needs them.

Disagree. If he’s getting 2 naps, 2 hours each, that’s too much and could be leaving him not tired at night, hence all the wakings. OP could just be expecting too much sleep.

OP. It’s usually more like 2-3 total hours of nap a day, if that helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can’t move naps then I’d cap them to maintain some sleep pressure to get him solidly through the night

No! Please don't do this. A tired baby has a harder time falling/staying asleep than a rested one. Keep the naps as they are - they are working for your sched and your baby needs them.

Disagree. If he’s getting 2 naps, 2 hours each, that’s too much and could be leaving him not tired at night, hence all the wakings. OP could just be expecting too much sleep.

OP. It’s usually more like 2-3 total hours of nap a day, if that helps.

That’s not too bad. 3 might be a bit much but I’m wondering if he just needs more wake time. Check out Respectful Sleep Training/Learning group on Facebook. They recommend a 3/3.5/3.5 schedule at this age. His second nap and bed may just be too early. He could need the full 3.5 hours between naps and before bed.