Girlfriend

[Anonymous]

I have an almost 5yo daughter and a 10yo son.

For a long time, I told my son to please be patient. She is now old enough to know that hitting is not ok.

I don’t know if this should be a relationship ender but you should put your son first.

We had some friends over and there were a bunch of little girls ages 3-7 and a few older boys 10-12. The little girls were chasing and hitting the older boys. I intervened and told the kids to stop hitting the boys.

Your girlfriend’s response is the worst. She should feel bad that her daughter hurt your son.

[Anonymous]

It's not about whether kids fight though when blending families how kids mesh is an important consideration.

The really big issue is the girlfriends' response not only did she not bother to correct her daughter she was nasty to your son. She's not the one you want as a stepmother.

This is also seriously similar to a similar post about a month ago, if you are the same OP you need to get your crap together and stop thinking with your little head.

[Anonymous]

Kid comes first. Period. Dump the girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

I don't see any way you'd move forward from this regardless from the GF's response.

[Anonymous]

A 5 year old kicking a 10 year old is not by itself "end the relationship" behavior.

Your GF's response may be "end the relationship" behavior. Depends on the context.

You said your GF responded that kicks shouldn't break the toe/require crutches. So the important question on which all of this turns: Were crutches in fact required? Was the toe actually broken (or at least severely injured)? Or did you already have crutches in the house, and you and your DS are making a big deal out of a run of the mill kid fight? The way the OP wrote the first post makes me think this isn't as clear as others have assumed.....

This could have played out in one of two ways:

Scenario 1: 5 year old kicks DS, DS is in a lot of pain, goes to doctor, is diagnosed with badly bruised or sprained foot and is prescribed crutches because it is otherwise painful to walk on. OP accuses GF of having a monster for a 5 year old child, and GF gets defensive and (wrongly) claims the injury wasn't a big deal.

Scenario 2: 5 year old kicks DS, DS has a history of being a drama queen and makes a big deal about how he can barely get around, finds old crutches in the house and makes a huge deal about it. OP accuses GF of having a monster for a 5 year old child, and GF says that OP needs to get a grip because the injury (rightly) wasn't a big deal, and GF is on the defensive because she doesn't like her kid being accused of being a monster when it was pretty typical kid stuff.

Scenario 1 means your GF was in the wrong. Scenario 2 means you and your DS are inflexible and drama queens.

I can't tell which one it is from the OP's post, but either seems believable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mother’s response is worse than her daughter kicking your boy.

NP here. I can see the perspective that a broken toe shouldn’t lead to crutches and a few kicks shouldn’t break a toe. Just saying I understand that as a parent in who must be in an uncomfortable position.

I'm guessing it's a doctor who said to use crutches -- a 9-year old boy isn't make that type of decision.

Or the foot had a small bruise and OP pulled out the crutches to make a dramatic play over this.

[Anonymous]

I’m having a hard time imagining how a kick from a 5 yo resulted in a broken toe/foot unless there are some significant congenital bone issues going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 5 year old kicking a 10 year old is not by itself "end the relationship" behavior.

Your GF's response may be "end the relationship" behavior. Depends on the context.

You said your GF responded that kicks shouldn't break the toe/require crutches. So the important question on which all of this turns: Were crutches in fact required? Was the toe actually broken (or at least severely injured)? Or did you already have crutches in the house, and you and your DS are making a big deal out of a run of the mill kid fight? The way the OP wrote the first post makes me think this isn't as clear as others have assumed.....

This could have played out in one of two ways:

Scenario 1: 5 year old kicks DS, DS is in a lot of pain, goes to doctor, is diagnosed with badly bruised or sprained foot and is prescribed crutches because it is otherwise painful to walk on. OP accuses GF of having a monster for a 5 year old child, and GF gets defensive and (wrongly) claims the injury wasn't a big deal.

Scenario 2: 5 year old kicks DS, DS has a history of being a drama queen and makes a big deal about how he can barely get around, finds old crutches in the house and makes a huge deal about it. OP accuses GF of having a monster for a 5 year old child, and GF says that OP needs to get a grip because the injury (rightly) wasn't a big deal, and GF is on the defensive because she doesn't like her kid being accused of being a monster when it was pretty typical kid stuff.

Scenario 1 means your GF was in the wrong. Scenario 2 means you and your DS are inflexible and drama queens.

I can't tell which one it is from the OP's post, but either seems believable.

OP here. We went to urgent care. They took x-rays, the pinky toe was broken, and they gave a foot boot and crutches. He also slammed his door on the foot a little before hand, but he says it's from the kicking and I tend to believe him. The kid is out of control.

[Anonymous]

The reason the 5 year old is out of control is because her mother is allowing it.

Loved, safe, disciplined children with no mental health issues are not out of control.

Is the daughter loved? Does she feel safe? IS she safe? Is she lovingly disciplined? Does she have undisclosed mental health issues?

Other than mental health issues, the remaining issues are a result of good/bad parenting. Are the adults in her life loving, caring, safe? This includes you, OP.

No healthy 5-year old who is getting the love, care, and attention that she needs will be a bad child. They might do bad things occassionally, but they aren't bad children.

What is actually going on here? You calling a 5-year-old out of control makes me think you need to take a look at the whole picture, meaning her mom and dad and you. And anybody her dad might be seeing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m having a hard time imagining how a kick from a 5 yo resulted in a broken toe/foot unless there are some significant congenital bone issues going on.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 5 year old kicking a 10 year old is not by itself "end the relationship" behavior.

Your GF's response may be "end the relationship" behavior. Depends on the context.

You said your GF responded that kicks shouldn't break the toe/require crutches. So the important question on which all of this turns: Were crutches in fact required? Was the toe actually broken (or at least severely injured)? Or did you already have crutches in the house, and you and your DS are making a big deal out of a run of the mill kid fight? The way the OP wrote the first post makes me think this isn't as clear as others have assumed.....

This could have played out in one of two ways:

Scenario 1: 5 year old kicks DS, DS is in a lot of pain, goes to doctor, is diagnosed with badly bruised or sprained foot and is prescribed crutches because it is otherwise painful to walk on. OP accuses GF of having a monster for a 5 year old child, and GF gets defensive and (wrongly) claims the injury wasn't a big deal.

Scenario 2: 5 year old kicks DS, DS has a history of being a drama queen and makes a big deal about how he can barely get around, finds old crutches in the house and makes a huge deal about it. OP accuses GF of having a monster for a 5 year old child, and GF says that OP needs to get a grip because the injury (rightly) wasn't a big deal, and GF is on the defensive because she doesn't like her kid being accused of being a monster when it was pretty typical kid stuff.

Scenario 1 means your GF was in the wrong. Scenario 2 means you and your DS are inflexible and drama queens.

I can't tell which one it is from the OP's post, but either seems believable.

OP here. We went to urgent care. They took x-rays, the pinky toe was broken, and they gave a foot boot and crutches. He also slammed his door on the foot a little before hand, but he says it's from the kicking and I tend to believe him. The kid is out of control.

LOL, sure. A kick from a little kid is more likely to break a toe than your son slamming a door on his foot. You are full of it (as is your son) and looking for excuses to demonize your girlfriend and her kid. Do them both a favor and end the relationship, because it’s clearly not a healthy one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 5 year old kicking a 10 year old is not by itself "end the relationship" behavior.

Your GF's response may be "end the relationship" behavior. Depends on the context.

You said your GF responded that kicks shouldn't break the toe/require crutches. So the important question on which all of this turns: Were crutches in fact required? Was the toe actually broken (or at least severely injured)? Or did you already have crutches in the house, and you and your DS are making a big deal out of a run of the mill kid fight? The way the OP wrote the first post makes me think this isn't as clear as others have assumed.....

This could have played out in one of two ways:

Scenario 1: 5 year old kicks DS, DS is in a lot of pain, goes to doctor, is diagnosed with badly bruised or sprained foot and is prescribed crutches because it is otherwise painful to walk on. OP accuses GF of having a monster for a 5 year old child, and GF gets defensive and (wrongly) claims the injury wasn't a big deal.

Scenario 2: 5 year old kicks DS, DS has a history of being a drama queen and makes a big deal about how he can barely get around, finds old crutches in the house and makes a huge deal about it. OP accuses GF of having a monster for a 5 year old child, and GF says that OP needs to get a grip because the injury (rightly) wasn't a big deal, and GF is on the defensive because she doesn't like her kid being accused of being a monster when it was pretty typical kid stuff.

Scenario 1 means your GF was in the wrong. Scenario 2 means you and your DS are inflexible and drama queens.

I can't tell which one it is from the OP's post, but either seems believable.

OP here. We went to urgent care. They took x-rays, the pinky toe was broken, and they gave a foot boot and crutches. He also slammed his door on the foot a little before hand, but he says it's from the kicking and I tend to believe him. The kid is out of control.

Ahhhh and the plot gets thicker. You and your DS say the broken toe is from her kicking him. Your GF and her DD say it is from the kicking the door ahead of time. And it's impossible to prove who is right and wrong.

I agree with others above that it seems hard to imagine a 5 year old girl kicking hard enough to break a toe. That said, not impossible. Again, no one will ever know for sure how the toe was broken.

What we can tell is that you HATE this little girl. And sounds like your GF thinks your DS is a whiny brat. That's the only relevant info here. Can you guys get over your dislike of each other's kids and move past this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 5 year old kicking a 10 year old is not by itself "end the relationship" behavior.

Your GF's response may be "end the relationship" behavior. Depends on the context.

You said your GF responded that kicks shouldn't break the toe/require crutches. So the important question on which all of this turns: Were crutches in fact required? Was the toe actually broken (or at least severely injured)? Or did you already have crutches in the house, and you and your DS are making a big deal out of a run of the mill kid fight? The way the OP wrote the first post makes me think this isn't as clear as others have assumed.....

This could have played out in one of two ways:

Scenario 1: 5 year old kicks DS, DS is in a lot of pain, goes to doctor, is diagnosed with badly bruised or sprained foot and is prescribed crutches because it is otherwise painful to walk on. OP accuses GF of having a monster for a 5 year old child, and GF gets defensive and (wrongly) claims the injury wasn't a big deal.

Scenario 2: 5 year old kicks DS, DS has a history of being a drama queen and makes a big deal about how he can barely get around, finds old crutches in the house and makes a huge deal about it. OP accuses GF of having a monster for a 5 year old child, and GF says that OP needs to get a grip because the injury (rightly) wasn't a big deal, and GF is on the defensive because she doesn't like her kid being accused of being a monster when it was pretty typical kid stuff.

Scenario 1 means your GF was in the wrong. Scenario 2 means you and your DS are inflexible and drama queens.

I can't tell which one it is from the OP's post, but either seems believable.

OP here. We went to urgent care. They took x-rays, the pinky toe was broken, and they gave a foot boot and crutches. He also slammed his door on the foot a little before hand, but he says it's from the kicking and I tend to believe him. The kid is out of control.

How can you not be irate at this? Your kid is being psychologically harmed by dad letting him continued to be subjected to this and another parent not reprimanding their child. To your child: THIS LOOKS LIKE: dad does not care about me. He is not standing up for me and letting me abused/bullied.

This relationship is over. Your kids are incompatible. Kids come first. I'm so tired of divorced parents and parents in affairs putting their kids last behind their genitals and future of 'happiness'. Don't be one of those douches. Stand right by your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The reason the 5 year old is out of control is because her mother is allowing it.

Loved, safe, disciplined children with no mental health issues are not out of control.

Is the daughter loved? Does she feel safe? IS she safe? Is she lovingly disciplined? Does she have undisclosed mental health issues?

Other than mental health issues, the remaining issues are a result of good/bad parenting. Are the adults in her life loving, caring, safe? This includes you, OP.

No healthy 5-year old who is getting the love, care, and attention that she needs will be a bad child. They might do bad things occassionally, but they aren't bad children.

What is actually going on here? You calling a 5-year-old out of control makes me think you need to take a look at the whole picture, meaning her mom and dad and you. And anybody her dad might be seeing.

Except mental health issues are incredibly common, not typically diagnosed by age 5, and generally align exactly with the percentage of "bad" kids. 10-15% of kids have ADHD. More have depression and anxiety. So 10-20 % of kids right of the bat have neurodivergences that make them feel out of control in certain situations. And that perfectly aligns with 2 or 3 kids in any elementary class having the "bad" reputation. It's atypical that the issue would be diagnosed by age 5. And these kinds of diagnoses don't make kids monsters. They are just a little outside the curve of what we "expect" or "want" from kids' behavior at that age.

So you can take your "i raised my perfect children because i'm a perfect mom" attitude and shove it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 5 year old kicking a 10 year old is not by itself "end the relationship" behavior.

Your GF's response may be "end the relationship" behavior. Depends on the context.

You said your GF responded that kicks shouldn't break the toe/require crutches. So the important question on which all of this turns: Were crutches in fact required? Was the toe actually broken (or at least severely injured)? Or did you already have crutches in the house, and you and your DS are making a big deal out of a run of the mill kid fight? The way the OP wrote the first post makes me think this isn't as clear as others have assumed.....

This could have played out in one of two ways:

Scenario 1: 5 year old kicks DS, DS is in a lot of pain, goes to doctor, is diagnosed with badly bruised or sprained foot and is prescribed crutches because it is otherwise painful to walk on. OP accuses GF of having a monster for a 5 year old child, and GF gets defensive and (wrongly) claims the injury wasn't a big deal.

Scenario 2: 5 year old kicks DS, DS has a history of being a drama queen and makes a big deal about how he can barely get around, finds old crutches in the house and makes a huge deal about it. OP accuses GF of having a monster for a 5 year old child, and GF says that OP needs to get a grip because the injury (rightly) wasn't a big deal, and GF is on the defensive because she doesn't like her kid being accused of being a monster when it was pretty typical kid stuff.

Scenario 1 means your GF was in the wrong. Scenario 2 means you and your DS are inflexible and drama queens.

I can't tell which one it is from the OP's post, but either seems believable.

OP here. We went to urgent care. They took x-rays, the pinky toe was broken, and they gave a foot boot and crutches. He also slammed his door on the foot a little before hand, but he says it's from the kicking and I tend to believe him. The kid is out of control.

How can you not be irate at this? Your kid is being psychologically harmed by dad letting him continued to be subjected to this and another parent not reprimanding their child. To your child: THIS LOOKS LIKE: dad does not care about me. He is not standing up for me and letting me abused/bullied.

This relationship is over. Your kids are incompatible. Kids come first. I'm so tired of divorced parents and parents in affairs putting their kids last behind their genitals and future of 'happiness'. Don't be one of those douches. Stand right by your kid.

Or it could be a kid with temper issues of his own manipulating his dad because he doesn’t like dad’s girlfriend.