Anyone else spend all holidays alone?

[Anonymous]

Today, as a single person living across the country from the rest of my family, I learned that a family of four is all alone.

I love the holiday season in DC as someone who is truly alone. Last year was rough, for sure, but I still managed to celebrate by cooking a massive meal for myself (which froze well and provided food for the following week). I was shameless on social media and being all up in other people's virtual gatherings.

This year things are reopening, so much more opportunity to see holiday shows (Nutcracker, Step Afrika, etc.). Even though classics like the zoo lights and botanic garden will remain closed, there will be many other holiday happenings. Keep your eye open for community events and enjoy.

Depending on your tolerance for vaccinated gatherings, you can arrange a Friendsgiving or Christmas dinner for neighbors, friends, and coworkers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today, as a single person living across the country from the rest of my family, I learned that a family of four is all alone.

I love the holiday season in DC as someone who is truly alone. Last year was rough, for sure, but I still managed to celebrate by cooking a massive meal for myself (which froze well and provided food for the following week). I was shameless on social media and being all up in other people's virtual gatherings.

This year things are reopening, so much more opportunity to see holiday shows (Nutcracker, Step Afrika, etc.). Even though classics like the zoo lights and botanic garden will remain closed, there will be many other holiday happenings. Keep your eye open for community events and enjoy.

Depending on your tolerance for vaccinated gatherings, you can arrange a Friendsgiving or Christmas dinner for neighbors, friends, and coworkers.

Thank you for offering soap some practical advice. Some good tips here! Very impressive you make feast for yourself and freeze/ enjoy over time. Have not heard of Step Afrika and will check out.

However, the snark was not necessary. When you have children, many of us want to give them the gift of extended family. In reality, many extended families are far from idyllic, dysfunctional and/ or far away. It is better to be honest about complicated feelings around family and holidays and deal with sad stuff than to repress them. Yes it is up to us to create fun and meaning in our lives, but it is good to support new neighbors in the process.

[Anonymous]

Last Christmas was so serene for my family of four. No rushing around in airports and then driving forever to visit 3 different sets of inlaws. The grass is always greener.

[Anonymous]

OP, as someone who spent many holidays literally alone befor I met DH, a lot of this is really your mindset. What do you envision these people are doing that is so magical that your can’t do with your smaller family?

So, while you’re lamenting it just being 4 of you,Jim going to tell you that there’s probably at least one person in your circle who will be completely alone for the holidays. Think about including them.

For your family, find special things to do even if they’re small. Make an advent calendar of activities. Do things like make a tree with all home made ornaments. Do movie nights with hot chocolate and pyjamas. Pick a family on a donation tree, and go shopping as a group to pick the food and gifts.

You speak of your DHs family, but where’s your family? Even if you’re far, with Zoom And FaceTime… there are so many things yiu can do together to share an experience, if you’re willing to be creative. We sent ILs a cookie kit last year and had DD and them bake Together over FaceTime. Then, everyone has the same cookies together, even though we couldn’t be together.

And if you’re feeling particularly needy, come on this board and look at all the posts about the negative parts of being forced into the holiday season with people that your don’t like.

It’s okay to feel sad, but please realize that this is really a mindset change and not some kind of insurmountable difficulty.

[Anonymous]

Comparison is the problem here. Get off social media and plan things you feel truly excited about!

[Anonymous]

Do you attend a church? If so I would try to join a choir or handbell choir. People who travel over the holidays can't do these activities, and joining a group or volunteering might make you feel less alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Travel, do special things around town, make friends and invite them to join you. I only get sad when we spend the holidays sitting around on our devises not doing anything.

This is what our little family does too. We travel and find other ways to make the holidays feel special. The reality is there are many of us, OP. People who don’t have, for whatever reason, the big family holidays. And then there are people who do have the big family holidays and find them stressful and miserable. The grass isn’t always greener. The magic of the holidays is what you create and that doesn’t have to be within the confines of what Hallmark tells you it is.

[Anonymous]

Start your own family traditions. Maybe it is doing a family holiday jigsaw puzzle on Christmas Eve, monkey bread Christmas morning, make a meal that includes your families favorite items, even if it means you are eating filet mignon, Mac n cheese and pizza. Maybe it's cheese and chocolate fondue. We also pick out a Christmas ornament whenever we travel, so decorating the tree is a trip down memory lane of our family travels.

[Anonymous]

I grew up always doing thanksgiving with my family of 4. My mom was a doctor and never got off enough time for us to travel. Loved it!! Her and I spent hours cooking and baking. We always invited another family or a few couples over for dinner. Thanksgiving is actually a great holiday to invite other people for. So many foreigners here that wouldn’t otherwise be celebrating an American holiday. My neighbors were German and would come and then we had another couple from England who came often. Similar to how many Jewish families invite others for for seders.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. Count your blessings. My husband wants us to spend thanksgiving dinner at his parents with thirty people. Half of whom aren’t vaccinated. Indoors. Hello, covid. So far I am standing firm and saying no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up always doing thanksgiving with my family of 4. My mom was a doctor and never got off enough time for us to travel. Loved it!! Her and I spent hours cooking and baking. We always invited another family or a few couples over for dinner. Thanksgiving is actually a great holiday to invite other people for. So many foreigners here that wouldn’t otherwise be celebrating an American holiday. My neighbors were German and would come and then we had another couple from England who came often. Similar to how many Jewish families invite others for for seders.

But I always wanted to say that I got married young and it was so so hard on my parents when they couldn’t spend the holiday with me. They’re estranged from my sibling. The years I go to my in-laws my parents are all alone and I know it’s not easy for them. It depresses them too much to invite people. I wish they’d come to my in-laws but they aren’t invited. On their years they invite my in-laws who always come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m an army brat who grew up with a family celebration of 4 my whole life. I don’t understand why you think that’s “all alone”? You have your family with you on the holiday and it’s a perfectly normal size!

Right! OP you are spending holidays "with your family"! Celebrate and appreciate!

Remember - one day you will be truly ALL ALONE.

p.s.I don't have any other family members besides my small nuclear family.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes doing festive things around the specific days keeps you busy enjoy ugh that relaxing at home just as a family feels great on Christmas day. So can you plan outings to see lights or decorations? If you're in the area can you plan a night in a fancy hotel or Airbnb in DC to see the decorations? We try to travel right after Christmas so the anticipation for a vacation keeps us pretty happy on Christmas day even if it's just us as a family. I agree with the PP about feeling bad when it's just us at home on our devices.

I know you are new and don't have close friends but are there any families you could invite the Saturday after Thanksgiving or the Sunday after Christmas for a casual gathering?

Get family PJ's, your favorite holiday movies and snacks and spend time together. Plan a fun game night and definitely layout a puzzle the first day of vacation. You might be surprised how many times your family will get sucked in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today, as a single person living across the country from the rest of my family, I learned that a family of four is all alone.

I love the holiday season in DC as someone who is truly alone. Last year was rough, for sure, but I still managed to celebrate by cooking a massive meal for myself (which froze well and provided food for the following week). I was shameless on social media and being all up in other people's virtual gatherings.

This year things are reopening, so much more opportunity to see holiday shows (Nutcracker, Step Afrika, etc.). Even though classics like the zoo lights and botanic garden will remain closed, there will be many other holiday happenings. Keep your eye open for community events and enjoy.

Depending on your tolerance for vaccinated gatherings, you can arrange a Friendsgiving or Christmas dinner for neighbors, friends, and coworkers.

Do you need a family in DC, oh singleton? I bet we can match you up. Where do you live?

[Anonymous]

I'm spending Thanksgiving on the road for work. This will be our first thanksgiving without our parents - they both died this year. I'm not sure I could handle being home for it anyway, so I'm going it alone. I'm going to watch some classic movies, have a great dinner and smoke a lot of weed.