If you SAH, how much does your spouse know about how the household runs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He knows everything. I can and have left town on a moment's notice for an emergency with barely any communication of what's coming up.

Does he “know everything” because you filled him in and out it on all his calendars or does he read and process information from the source?

[Anonymous]

Hmmm. He definitely knows when we need something like milk, and where the children's tylenol is. Those are super basic to me and if he didn't know that stuff I'd view it as a huge problem. I mean, he lives here and is a parent -- he should be generally aware of what food is in the fridge and be able to give a feverish child some medication without my assistance. And we don't have a piano-playing child, but he does school pick up twice a week and takes our oldest to one of her activities almost every week unless he is traveling for work, so he definitely knows what is going on in their lives and at school. Probably not to the degree I do, but very involved.

The stuff he doesn't know is more like: where the spray I use to clean up carpet messes is, or that one kid has to have strawberries in her lunch or she won't eat any of it, or what size shoes anyone is wearing. Stuff that it's hard to keep up with and that you might not know unless you are the one doing it every day. The cleaning stuff, in particular, is all me. He has no idea how to clean the house. He knows where the vacuum is, but can't think of a time he's ever used it. He will clean a bathroom on the weekend now and again, but only if I ask him explicitly, and I usually have to get out the stuff for him because he doesn't really know what to use otherwise. And it will take him 4x longer than it would take me. But I'm one of those weirdos who likes cleaning so this doesn't bother me much.

[Anonymous]

My DH traveled every week so no, he wasn’t up all all household duties, rarely attended a doctor’s appointment or household chores. If/when I needed assistance, he was willing. Some chores he handled with ease (pick something up at the store), others took forever (a quick clean of the powder room before guests arrived).

[Anonymous]

Kids: pretty much everything. He is a very involved dad.

Household stuff: very little

[Anonymous]

He works from home and knows how everything happens. It really isn’t rocket science.
He gets up early and knocks out most of what he needs to do on a computer for work. Typically the rest of the day he just needs to be able to pick up phone or use iPad.

So we get to do hang out a lot, do fun stuff during the day. Most Fridays he doesn’t work and we spend the day on boat, or getting stuff done so we have the whole weekend free.

[Anonymous]

He knows some things, but not a lot of specifics. For example, he knows where the kids go to school and has met their teachers, but if I were going out of town, I would have to tell him what times to pick up and drop off.

[Anonymous]

DH knows only now, since he's retired: That we have a neighborhood library. Neighbors' names up the street. He now has an opinion about how things are arranged in the kitchen. He does 1/2 of household chores. Probably more. He does his cooking/grocery shopping/laundry. He keeps a notebook of contractors and schedules appointment.

None of this happened when he was working and I was SAH.When you have a job where you are paid very well, that wouldn't exist without stress.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my spouse knows how the household runs. If I needed to leave for some reason (like to deal with my parents) he could handle things with minimal questions. I may have some minor things in my calendar and not his, but those would be easy to transfer and he'd work on his calendar as much as he could to accommodate.

[Anonymous]

No, he is completely out of the loop and would have no idea what groceries need to be stocked up on, what clothes the kids have grown out of and now need, or where I keep random stuff around the house. I’ve gone on trips and he’s figured it out but, as a sahm, I take care of all cooking, cleaning, household duties, and am the go to parent for our 3 young kids. This works for both of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why should he know? That's your job.

Exactly.