Probably stupid question: Did unmarried couples used to not be able to live together?

[Anonymous]

https://libres.uncg.edu/ir/uncg/f/A_Kuperberg_Premarital_2019.pdf

p.9 of the PDF has a chart. Jumped from 3% in early 60s to 6% in late 60s, then 30% in late 70s, then grew steadily to around 70%. It varies by region, religiosity, etc., but 20 years ago in DC among the people I knew it would have been considered strange not to live together before marriage.

[Anonymous]

Many landlords did not rent to unmarried couples. I remember in the 1980s my landlord told me he did not rent to couples without a marriage license.

[Anonymous]

It was a bit racy that Mr and Mrs Brady slept in the same bed on the Brady Bunch. Not that long before censors wouldn’t show Ricky and Lucy share the same bed so they had twin beds in the same room.

[Anonymous]

It was not socially accepted for a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t ask how this question came up, but some friends and I were talking about books and movies and TV shows from the 80s and early 90s and we noted how couples never moved in together until they were married. At least from the references we could remember.

While some individual couples might be against the idea of cohabitation to this day, the idea that unmarried couples cohabitate has been pretty mainstream at least throughout my adult life. Was this not the case 30+ years ago? Did couples, or heck, even roommates, face any kind of issues buying a house or renting together if they weren’t married?

I moved in with my boyfriend in 1996. We got married 6 yrs later. It was very common to be living together before marriage. My brother moved in w/ his gf in 1988 and they married a yr later

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many landlords did not rent to unmarried couples. I remember in the 1980s my landlord told me he did not rent to couples without a marriage license.

In Salt Lake City or Birmingham? It wasn't like that in the DC area in the 1980s. Couples didn't keep their marriage license handy to conduct daily business back then, any more than they do now.

[Anonymous]

I remember in the 1980s my aunt moved in with her boyfriend and we went to visit and it was a huge deal. He proposed and everyone calmed down. Then they broke up and everyone tsked tsked

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would mark the 1980s as the period where it became commonly acceptable for boyfriends and girlfriends to live together. I moved in with my boyfriend (now husband) in 1992 and no one batted an eyelash.

Probably depends on your community. Among my Catholic family/high school friends it was still considered taboo back then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was a bit racy that Mr and Mrs Brady slept in the same bed on the Brady Bunch. Not that long before censors wouldn’t show Ricky and Lucy share the same bed so they had twin beds in the same room.

I buy a lot of antique furniture. It also wasn’t uncommon for married adults to have two twin beds. (I don’t get this at all!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was pretty common in the 1980s. In 1983 a friend in college was living with her 40 year old boyfriend. In 1986 another college friend has been living with his girlfriend for almost 10 years (he was an older guy who went back to school).

It must have been common in the 1970s too. I had a couple of cousins who lived with their boyfriends. That's nearly 50 years ago.

Again, it depends on your community. Maybe in places like NYC. Or SF. But not in the midwest or south.

[Anonymous]

A little off topic, but I'm 50 and was pretty amazed to hear my mother talk about having trouble getting a bank account in her name in the early 1970s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t ask how this question came up, but some friends and I were talking about books and movies and TV shows from the 80s and early 90s and we noted how couples never moved in together until they were married. At least from the references we could remember.

While some individual couples might be against the idea of cohabitation to this day, the idea that unmarried couples cohabitate has been pretty mainstream at least throughout my adult life. Was this not the case 30+ years ago? Did couples, or heck, even roommates, face any kind of issues buying a house or renting together if they weren’t married?

I take it you never had the joy of watching Three's Company.

Ha!! My first thought was to explain Three's Company. Hey kid, let me tell you a story ... in the 70s, it was not mainstream for unmarried people of opposite sex to live together. Improper!! So Jack pretended he was GAY so it would be OK with the landlord to share apartment with Janet and Chrissie.

When I watched the show in the 80s, my evangelical mom made sure to tell me it was wrong, but she was tired and didn't stop me from watching it.

I heard a lot about how "living in sin" was wrong, cows and milk for free and etc.

As a young adult woman in the early 2000s, I lived with two guy housemates and my parents thought it was pretty weird and had lots of questions.

My DH tells me he was pressured into marrying his first wife because they moved in together. Her Southern family, in about the year 2000, came down hard on it, and so he proposed. Then they were happy.

Much of it is cultural/regional/religious/patriarchal etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was a bit racy that Mr and Mrs Brady slept in the same bed on the Brady Bunch. Not that long before censors wouldn’t show Ricky and Lucy share the same bed so they had twin beds in the same room.

I buy a lot of antique furniture. It also wasn’t uncommon for married adults to have two twin beds. (I don’t get this at all!)

I know of some older relatives long since dead who shared double beds and in a couple cases twin beds. 🤷‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A little off topic, but I'm 50 and was pretty amazed to hear my mother talk about having trouble getting a bank account in her name in the early 1970s.

In the late 70s/early 80s some companies, like EDS, interviewed candidates’ wives. I can only imagine what happened when the candidate was a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A little off topic, but I'm 50 and was pretty amazed to hear my mother talk about having trouble getting a bank account in her name in the early 1970s.

My mom is the one who got married to go on vacation. She made more than my dad and could not get credit card in her own name. Same timeframe.