Probably stupid question: Did unmarried couples used to not be able to live together?

[Anonymous]

Don’t ask how this question came up, but some friends and I were talking about books and movies and TV shows from the 80s and early 90s and we noted how couples never moved in together until they were married. At least from the references we could remember.

While some individual couples might be against the idea of cohabitation to this day, the idea that unmarried couples cohabitate has been pretty mainstream at least throughout my adult life. Was this not the case 30+ years ago? Did couples, or heck, even roommates, face any kind of issues buying a house or renting together if they weren’t married?

[Anonymous]

I think you have to go back past the 80s or 90s for that to be true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t ask how this question came up, but some friends and I were talking about books and movies and TV shows from the 80s and early 90s and we noted how couples never moved in together until they were married. At least from the references we could remember.

While some individual couples might be against the idea of cohabitation to this day, the idea that unmarried couples cohabitate has been pretty mainstream at least throughout my adult life. Was this not the case 30+ years ago? Did couples, or heck, even roommates, face any kind of issues buying a house or renting together if they weren’t married?

I take it you never had the joy of watching Three's Company.

[Anonymous]

I would mark the 1980s as the period where it became commonly acceptable for boyfriends and girlfriends to live together. I moved in with my boyfriend (now husband) in 1992 and no one batted an eyelash.

[Anonymous]

If they wore rings before the 1960s and moved away from their hometowns, people didn’t know and didn’t ask. It was not really a loud and proud thing until the 1960s. But landlords could refuse to rent to unmarried couples. They didn’t ask to see marriage certificates and everything was in the man’s name anyway. Ironically, many closeted gay and lesbian couples lived together as “roommates”.

[Anonymous]

Um yes. And women were supposed to be virgins at marriage.

[Anonymous]

My mom *got married* so she could go on vacation with my dad. She's 73.

[Anonymous]

https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/hemez-manning-30-yrs-change-women-premarital-cohab-fp-17-05.html

[Anonymous]

It was pretty common in the 1980s. In 1983 a friend in college was living with her 40 year old boyfriend. In 1986 another college friend has been living with his girlfriend for almost 10 years (he was an older guy who went back to school).

It must have been common in the 1970s too. I had a couple of cousins who lived with their boyfriends. That's nearly 50 years ago.

[Anonymous]

The rise of premarital cohabitation
In the 19th and early 20th century, the majority of U.S. states recognized common law marriages; romantic relationships conforming to a pattern of marital behavior, including living together, but never solemnized through a legal ceremony (Bowman, 1996; Dubler, 1998). The acceptance of common law marriages was widely debated in the U. S. court system throughout the 19th century, and between 1875 and 1917 began to lose legal standing; by the mid 20th century, a majority of states no longer recognized common law marriage (Bowman, 1996; Dubler, 1998). With common law marriages no longer a legal possibility for most, a new relationship form rose to take its place; cohabitation, or living together with a romantic partner either before a legal marriage or outside of the legal marriage system entirely.
In March 1968, the New York Times reported on Barnard College student Linda LeClair, who had circumvented university rules to illicitly live off campus with her boyfriend, a Columbia University student. The couple, who had spent the summer of 1967 in Haight–Ashbury during the “summer of love,” sparked a widespread debate and several national news articles about cohabitation; later referred to as the The LeClair Affair, this incident created widespread public awareness of cohabitation as a viable relationship, along with moral panic about that possibility (Danziger & Greenwald, 1977; Pleck, 2012). By 1971 cohabitation had become “trendy” among young celebrities and was discussed in every women’s magazine (Pleck, 2012). Cohabitation rates subsequently increased rapidly in the U.S., and by 1987

one-third of women aged 19–44 had previously cohabited with an unmarried partner, with rates rising to 58% in 2006–2008 (Wydick, 2007; Manning, 2010).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom *got married* so she could go on vacation with my dad. She's 73.

When I was in Italy in the aughts we had to show a marriage certificate to get a private room together in a hostel. My boyfriend and I were not married, so we were assigned a co-ed space.

[Anonymous]

You don't sound old enough to be using a computer. Go play outside.

[Anonymous]

How old are you, OP?

[Anonymous]

I got married in '73. My BF and I were living together in NoVa but he was getting ready to go to his small midwestern town for a few weeks to visit his parents and wanted to take me but he said his Catholic parents would not be comfortable with us sharing a room unmarried. So we got married. (It lasted 25 years.)

[Anonymous]

My aunt lived with her BF in the 70s and *we were not allowed to visit* because it was sinful.

LMAO at the situation now, although I'm pretty sure my mom still wouldn't be accepting if I lived with a man without being married. Despite me now being in my 50s.