Vent - Riding Metro While Pregnant

[Anonymous]

PP here, and I totally agree with the gist of what you've said. The rudeness that occurs on Metro is astounding. I understand people want to get home (heck, so do I and missing a train or bus means that I can greatly delay picking up my toddler from daycare), but sheesh- you'd think they'd announced that the first 15 people who can shove themselves on the train first win a million bucks.

[Anonymous]

OP - if it makes you feel any better (tho this probably won't), it isn't just a DC thing. I was pregnant with my second in London and took the Tube every day for work. I can count on one hand how many times people would offer me their seat. It really is unbelievable. I felt the same way as you do. That people are really very rude. I remember a long time ago there was a huge discussion on this topic with some people essentially saying that they shouldn't have to give up their seat to a pregnant woman b/c pregnancy isn't a real disability (in that we can control whether or not we "get" it).

It is shocking to me that some people feel that way, but evidently many do.

[Anonymous]

PP here - I should add that what pissed me off especially about it in London is that the Tube trains are notorious for stopping abruptly and people would often go flying a few feet. So there really is a good justification for giving a pregnant woman her seat b/c pregnancy affects balance and a pregnant woman, in case of a quick stop, really is more likely to get hurt than the average (non-disabled) person.

[Anonymous]

It's not just Metro - I went to corner bakery to pick up lunch the other day. The bench where you can wait for take out food was full with, wait for it, three men, clearly able bodied. All three looked at me (very obviously pregnant, to the point that I can't go out in public without someone asking when I'm due), and continued to sit. People in this area are just self-centered and rude.

[Anonymous]

Funny story, my friend told me that when people didn't offer her a seat when she was well into her pregnany she would sit down in the middle of the floor... apparently that gets some attention.

[Anonymous]

I just ask for a seat. what's the big deal?

[Anonymous]

Agree with 14:15. Some people don't want to assume your pregnant and embarrass a woman who's really just overweight. I know at 20 weeks I looked chubby in the middle only. I put my foot in my mouth when I saw an old acquaintance and asked when she was due. She wasn't pregnant, so unless the woman looks like a bean pole with a basketball, I keep quiet.

[Anonymous]

Oh, the Metro. The mornings are usually OK, but the afternoons, especially on the Red Line, can be real fun. I was elbowed out of the way by a woman on Tuesday, and raced to the one available seat by an able-bodied 20-something man on Monday. I know that I don't look extremely pregnant at 23 weeks, but I do have the bump. (I was also offered a seat on the Orange line this week, and even though I didn't take it, I almost kissed the guy for being so polite, as I'm still at the "Yay! strangers know I'm pregnant!" stage.)

But of course, the day I fell on the escalator and my entire leg was bleeding in three places, no one offered me a seat, either, so yeah, Metro rudeness isn't reserved for those of us who are pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Be assertive and be safe. Just ask for a seat if you are tired.

[Anonymous]

WHY DON'T YOU JUST ASK FOR A SEAT???

[Anonymous]

Of course you can ask for a seat, but that isn't the point. What the hell happened to common decency around here?

[Anonymous]

Every time I ask for a seat on metro, I get one. Nobody even looked pissed. (I"m not 4 days past due so was riding all winter with belly).

During winter, I'd take off my overcoat to show my belly and yes, people gave me a seat and if I wasn't offered one, I'd ask.

I agree with PPs who suggest asking for the seats in the middle that are reserved (or whatever) for those in need. That's what I did. We should not feel at all guilty about asking for them.

I found tourists to be the worst. Metro riders just give up seats, knowing that it's the right thing to do. Tourists don't. I'd have to actually point out the handicap sign, explain that my belly renders me "needy" and demand a seat from the most able-bodied among them. That only happened a couple of times but we must educate the visitors...

[Anonymous]

This lack of common decency is definitely not limited to the metro, or to pregnancy; its just another unfortunate sign of how our society is moving towards being more self-focused and less observant of the other.

I spilled burning hot coffee on my hand at the cafeteria this morning, and the lady in line behind me didn't react at all--and she couldn't have missed it as I was saying "ouch!" rather loudly and trying to shake the excess off my hand such that she edged out of the path of the drips. She just waited until I moved on (to ask the cashier for a towel) and then filled her own cup. I'd've at least said "are you okay!?" and offered to find ice or something! (And I'm not suggesting she should have helped because I am pregnant--she should have helped because I just burned my hand!)

But sometimes people still surprise you--I *was* offered a seat on the metro last night (although I think the guy's wife guilted him into it), and when I fell in the street a few weeks ago, numerous bystanders rushed to my aid. So I suppose not all hope is lost...

[Anonymous]

PP 9:54, I agree that our society is becoming less courteous and that individuals are becoming less aware of others.

The other Sunday at Whole Foods on P St, a couple ahead of us had a cart loaded beyond the brim. The wife was loading her groceries onto the belt, and dropped a bottle of white wine onto the floor. It was a careless mistake that any of could have made, but they didn't handle it well. She didn't apologize to anyone--her husband didn't say anything--sympathy or otherwise. Wine splattered on my pants (not a big deal). But at least acknowledge that you made a mess and apologize for making a mess to the cashier and and offer to pay for the bottle that you broke.

[Anonymous]

I have the best pregnant-metro stories.

I passed out when I was 8 months along and guess what? Not only did no one help me (they all stared as I fell to the floor), but I had to literally shove people out of my way so I could stand up and exit the train. Not one person asked me if I was okay or offered to help. That was the last time I commuted downtown by metro. I figured if that's how Washingtonians react to that situation, then how would they react in the event of a real emergency situation?

Another time I was seated by the window and a 20 something guy was seated in the aisle. Teenage girls were in the handicap seats, and the train was packed. A little old lady pulling an oxygen tank behind her got on and not one person offered her a seat. You know the drill: everyone looks down, plays with their phones, etc. So I stood up (7 months pregnant), and loudly asked the young guy next to me to excuse me and then I offered my seat to the lady --- at which point the guy rolled his eyes at me and said, "uh, okay, I guess she can have my seat." So I said, "that's wonderful --- I'm glad you could be shamed into doing the right thing." The old lady thanked me, and some folks seated around me chuckled.