Vent - Riding Metro While Pregnant

[Anonymous]

Riding the Metro in the afternoons, that's when there are never seats for my particular commute, is the worst. I mean, it's amazing how many people just stare at me, then pretend they never saw me and refuse to offer a seat. In the last three weeks, I've only had two women offer me their seat and I was so grateful. It just makes me so angry and I'm only 21 weeks (clearly pregnant). For now, except for really long, tired, hot days, I can still handle standing, but I can only imagine what it's going to be like a few weeks down the road. Any one else find riding Metro while pregnant to be the bad part of your day?!! How do you handle it? Any one actually so bold as to ask for a seat?

[Anonymous]

Oh completely!!!

I even stress about it before leaving home on my way to Metro, in anticipation. Particularly on those days I am not feeling all that well to begin with. I practically hugged the man who gave me his seat on a crowded red line train the other day, I was so relieved.

[Anonymous]

I'm not saying people aren't totally rude, but it could be that while its obvious to you that you are pregnant, people may not notice or may be afraid to wrongly assume for fear of insulting you. I suspect that in a month or so it will be REALLY obvious and people will start offering you a seat. I see it on my rides all the time, but usually not until a woman is REALLY obviously pregnant.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP, people can be very rude but I am 21 weeks pregnant and don't expect people to offer their seats to me. I think people are afraid they might be wrong about you being pregnant and and insult you if they wrongly assume you are pregnant.

[Anonymous]

I was like that on week 21 too. mow at week 31 there's no doubt and even during crazy cherry blossom ride I got plenty of ppl offering me a seat. early on I had to ask for it though.

[Anonymous]

I'm 30 weeks pregnant with twins, ie I look full term. But people can be really rude, and there have been a few occasions where people have continued reading or whatever and pretended not to notice a huge pregnant woman.

[Anonymous]

Happened to me and it is the worst this time of year. I would rub my belly and hold my hand on my back, so people would know I was pregnant. Kind of pathetic, I know, but it was kind of little game for me to see who would offer their seat.

[Anonymous]

Ask for the seat if you really feel you need it.

I think we are all hyper-sensitive to this issue because we are pregnant. But if your metro is so crowded that there aren't any seats, there are probably lots of people standing, some of them with big bags etc. And also, few people are realyl staring at everybody's midsection. Not as many people notice as you think. Some people that notice, might not be sure enough to say anything. And other people just don't know/assume that you would want a seat. I am 23 weeks. If I am jumping on the metro for three stops, I might rather stand than sit down, just to get back up again. On the other hand, if I've had a hard day at work and I'm riding half the redline, I'd kill for a seat. Pregnancy, especially pregnancy before around the 8th month is a gray area. Think of it this way, the "polite" thing to do is to offer your seat to the elderly. Where is the line where someone is "elderly"? How do you know you won't offend?

Bottom line, ask nicely for a seat- preferably of someone sitting in the seats reserved for those that need them. I tend to think that people in those seats "assumed the risk."

[Anonymous]

OP, I agree with others that maybe people don't know you're pregnant. Imagine if someone offered an overweight women a seat because the person thought she was pregnant. Now, that would be bad.

And adults without kids don't always understand what it's like to be pregnant.

Hopefully it's one of these rather then people ignoring you on purpose.

[Anonymous]

I rode metro for my entire 1st pregnancy and was offered a seat exactly twice. I am currently 32 weeks and have also been offered seats twice. But honestly, I am perfectly capable of standing. There have been a handful of times where I was feeling a bit faint (the AC wasn't working on the car and I was getting woozy), and I just asked the closest person to me for a seat. It was toughest riding metro with first trimester nausea than it is now in the 3rd trimester.

Most people don't even notice that I am pregnant. I know that I rarely look up from my reading material when I am seated.

[Anonymous]

I'm 39 weeks pregnant. While you may think at 21 weeks you look pregnant, you might not to others. Unless I specifically told people, no one in my office or acquaintances noticed I was pregnant until I was more than 7 months. And with the advent of recently shedding jackets, etc., who knows?

I commute from downtown to Springfield. I've only been offered a seat once by someone who made a BIG show out of it (not that I didn't appreciate it). I try to remember that I never know why someone doesn't offer me a seat- maybe they have cancer or another unseen disability, maybe their day was worse than mine, or whatever. In any event, my issue will end soon enough and theirs won't.

[Anonymous]

I really hope you weren't the women standing next to my seat last night on the train home to Vienna. That woman had a small baby bump and I felt for her, but I was exhausted from being woken up every night for weeks by a cranky toddler who's teething molars (and now can't sleep due to allergies.) And I wasn't sitting in a handicapped seat, and I figure that those people who sit in them should offer up their seats first. (and if you need one of those seats, you should ask.)

Hang in there. I rode metro throughout my pregnancy and made sure i got a seat by getting on at the first station in VA and on the way home from DC, i'd walk to a farther-away station because there was a better chance to get a seat. The three times I didn't have a seat, I got two seat offers (one I took) and one time when I was about 8.5 months pregnant and it was obvious, NOBODY offered me a seat, though there were tons of able-bodied young folks in the handicapped seats. I should have asked, but didn't.

Seriously, ask for a seat if you want one. If for some reason you don't get one, at least you might shame the people sitting in the handicapped seats into getting up for the NEXT pregnant woman. But i agree with the other posters that at 21 weeks, you might not look as pregnant as you think you do. (I know I didn't show much at 21 weeks.)

[Anonymous]

When I was on crutches, I hobbled in through the doors by the handicapped seats and announced pleasantly to the air: "Can somebody give me a seat?" Someone always got up and gave me a seat. But if I didn't announce it they might not notice me.

True, people sitting in those seats should always look up to see if someone needs the seat. I always do. But the reality is that they don't.

This morning I saw a very pregnant woman get on when there were no seats available. I was standing myself but I was ready to announce to the air that someone should give her a seat. I didn't have to because someone offered her a seat. But I was also a bit hesitant because I was wondering if she might resent someone else getting involved. Is that a crazy idea? Probably better to err on the side of getting her a seat, right?

[Anonymous]

I always ask someone sitting in the handicapped seat when the train is full. My theory is why suffer...and that's what those seats are for. I simply say "pardon me, but may I please sit...I'm pregnant and cannot be on my feet for too long." This is if my ride is typical from metro center to Vienna. If i'm just jumping on the train for a stop or two, I will just stand.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I really should clarify. The post was really more of a vent about how rude people on Metro can be and being pregnant just highlights that fact for me since my tolerence level is a bit lower than normal. Yes, I'm only 21 weeks, but this is my 2nd pregnancy and, with natures' way of stretching those muscles first time around, I'm clearly pregnant - no small bump here. But I'm not looking for a debate on that and do appreciate the comments that not everyone looks so large and people are sometimes afraid to open that can of worms. And as I mentioned, I can totally handle it most days. This was really just about the general attitude of those on Metro. Yes, there are other needy people who also need seats, but there are many who are not and I always find Metro to be the one place where the rudeness comes out in people. The shoving, yelling at each other for shoving, etc is obnoxious any other time as well. I would just hope that more often than happens, someone would offer a seat.