When DC family looks down at your small town relocation

[Anonymous]

My family all live around NYC and I did for many years. We now live in the Midwest and not far from a major city but for the first five or so years they’d give me grief about being farmers. But the siblings who have visited and see how well we live and how nice the people are and that shuts them up. I’d never move back to the NYC area. The housing costs are ridiculous, taxes are out of control, the airports stink, the highways are miserable ………..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you can do is say that you're very happy and change the subject. My family is rural and are always asking how the shootings and air pollution are lately.

+1 It goes both ways. Many people from my midwestern town can't understand why we're happy living in the DC area. In particular, they're astounded by the cost of housing here and that I don't even get a garage for that amount.

[Anonymous]

We have the opposite issue. DH’s family tends to make disparaging comments about our community in this area and then gets hurt when we point out the shortcomings of their small town.

[Anonymous]

Have they visited? Some people just don't like the geography of the Midwest and being land locked.

[Anonymous]

Maybe they just want you to come back. I can relate, with family who left to towns I imagine are crappy. It's not a judgment of you. It's dismay of you leaving, and you not being where they expected you would be. You changed the script without asking or permission lol.

[Anonymous]

We get this crap all the time. Ignore it. Miserable people put others down.

[Anonymous]

"You ask that a lot. We might be here forever. I don't really know, but I do know that we all are very happy here." Then change the subject.

They probably don't realize how often they ask. Once you bring it up, and make them conscious of it, they'll probably feel too awkward to ask again. And if they do, keep repeating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have the opposite issue. DH’s family tends to make disparaging comments about our community in this area and then gets hurt when we point out the shortcomings of their small town.

I think I'd dial back pointing out the shortcomings in their small town. If you want to gain understanding for your own choices, it's best not to run down the choices of others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"You ask that a lot. We might be here forever. I don't really know, but I do know that we all are very happy here." Then change the subject.

They probably don't realize how often they ask. Once you bring it up, and make them conscious of it, they'll probably feel too awkward to ask again. And if they do, keep repeating.

I like this response. If they continue, just keep repeating.

[Anonymous]

The good news is if they visit the stays will be very short!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have the opposite issue. DH’s family tends to make disparaging comments about our community in this area and then gets hurt when we point out the shortcomings of their small town.

+1000. So much worse the other way. For every "snob" on the Coasts there are 10 people in flyover country who can't stop disparaging NY/CA/DC because of all the crap they hear on Fox.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are in the opposite situation. We get asked if we’re being sarcastic when we say we enjoy our life in DC. It doesn’t bother me. I grew up in the country and love many things about it but prefer the city. I understand why people like living in the country and in the city. If someone else cannot comprehend liking something different than what they chose, that’s a reflection on them and I don’t take it personally. Just be happy with your own decisions and deflect and ignore the rude commentary.

+1 I think I'm just cut from different cloth than most of my family. For me moving to the city and the people and all it has to offer was like that scene in Wizard of Oz where everything is suddenly in color. My family just shake their head in bemusement and ask how I can stand it. And local friends in the suburbs ask us constantly when we're going to buy a bigger place... never!

So, OP, I vote that you don't take the bait at all and just give some bland version of eh, we like it here, and then change the subject. That removes the need for anyone to convince anyone else of the rightness of how they feel about a place. You just like it, and that's ok. (They can still visit SanFran whenever they want to!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have the opposite issue. DH’s family tends to make disparaging comments about our community in this area and then gets hurt when we point out the shortcomings of their small town.

+1000. So much worse the other way. For every "snob" on the Coasts there are 10 people in flyover country who can't stop disparaging NY/CA/DC because of all the crap they hear on Fox.

I live in the midwest and that is not true. People here are a lot kinder to strangers and no we don’t waste time our disparaging the coastal cities because we have better things to do. You seem very simple minded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are snobs and will soon be jealous of the things you can afford with your small town life. I grew up in a Midwestern college town and I don’t think there is a better combination of low cost of living + hip, mid-priced stores and restaurants + cultural opportunities (independent films, speakers, concerts, awesome camps for kids) + local schools with educated, involved parents.

+1

This rat race sucks, truly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"You ask that a lot. We might be here forever. I don't really know, but I do know that we all are very happy here." Then change the subject.

They probably don't realize how often they ask. Once you bring it up, and make them conscious of it, they'll probably feel too awkward to ask again. And if they do, keep repeating.

I like this response. If they continue, just keep repeating.

+1